Should i even go on this 3rd date?

[dazedandconfused1]

Basically, some stuff happened recently which made me a bit more aggressive with woman in general (one of them really did something disgusting and basically dropped all the rest down from the pedestal i had put them on)

 

So at this club i approach this girl and start dancing with her. She is into it, we are talking, she is really flirty. I go in for a kiss as we get close, she backs away and says its too early. Then we keep talking, and she takes a photo at some point. I later use a good line and say my friends are leaving and id really like that photo since it was halloween and stuff. She says oh ill give you my info and hit me up on facebook and we'll see how it goes.

 

So i hit her up on fb, and i then realize damn this girl is beautiful...like im not bad looking, i think im decent looking but score a few points higher when woman get to know me, but this girl is just good looking period. I msg her on fb and say hey, i didnt get your number but i would love to take you out on this amazing date and she writes back with her number...

 

i txt her and we eventually go out for like a mid afternoon dinner before her work. She shows up 15 minutes late, and we are sort of rushing before her work but she seems a little stuck up telling me she is pretty new to city life and she has only been here a few months but loves (insert ritzy restaurant, and designer store here). She offers to pay but I pay for dinner and the date goes on, i walk her to her work and we hug goodbye.

 

I txt a couple days later saying i had a good time and we should do it again. We set up a 2nd date and she ends up canceling because of work or something. I txt her saying, hey its no problem, txt me back if you want to keep going out...she replies yes lets reschedule. So eventually we reschedule and go out on a 2nd date to a movie. I end up being late and she is standing there waiting and is not upset which i like a lot. We go to this movie and sit, and she gets popcorn and a drink and asks me if im getting anything, i say no its alright, and she gets 1 straw and the drink. During the movie she is like scarffing it down and giving like no attention. Add to that the movie is HORRIBLE, so half way through i just look at her and i say, "this movie is so bad, if we leave now ill pay you for what your ticket cost" and she is like yeh its bad lets leave. We go end up getting a cup of coffee, and i wait with her at the bus, but still there is like nothing going on. Hug goodbye and i say next time she has to pick a better date idea, and she says yeh there is a restaurant she wants to try out.

 

Basically, its been a couple days, i have not gotten a msg, but i know she still knows i exists because she put "like" on one of my fb status's.

 

Do i msg her about the 3rd date? on the 2nd date she looked amazing. Im being honest, there was not a girl more attractive in all of my cities downtown area. I know she likes me to a degree as well, since she looked up my fb before giving me her number i think, since she asked a couple of times what i thought of a photo of her on her fb, so i know she is the "creepen" kind. Maybe she doesnt like the fact that i still live with my parents, and i dont have a car....but i did say i have a fair bit of money (which i do) that im saving for an apartment downtown, and i dress well.

 

Now what do i do? I dont share the same interests as her, she likes partying and clubbing and techno, and ritzy restaurants, and im really down to earth...i like video games, country, sports on tv, doing nothing with friends. Im not obsessed with this girl, but man would i like to see if i could get anywhere with this girl just for the sake of picking up other girls due to being with a model (random girls i dont speak to often have been talking to me more now that they know im dating this 9).

 

So do i txt her about a 3rd date? i dont mind being the one to bring it up, but its getting really close to friendzone right now, and i have enough girls who are my friends...should i send a flirty txt? she is not real talkative in txt, or fb...i know that because she doesnt reply to anything on her wall and she told me isnt big on long txt or online chatting.

 

So should i just leave it? or as so many men do, keep going after it and hope...

 

 

LET ME ADD:

 

let me mention again that im not that into this girl. In 2 and a half weeks, ive probably msged her once on fb, and like 4 txts.

 

Its not something that is contantly on my mind, its just 4 am and im at work, and i was wondering if i should go on this date...i couldnt care less if i slept with this girl, i just want to avoid the friendzone and/or find out if she wants more than just calling it a date.

 

and i posted this on another site and they were like yeh go for it because you live at home etc etc. Naw, i by no means came off as a nerd i think, there was a lot of posturing both ways...but there is a very high cost of living in the city i live in, and lots of people live home and the transit system is one of the best in the world, business people etc take it. I mean she takes the bus!

Edited November 14, 2010 by dazedandconfused1

[Mellisa]

Basically, some stuff happened recently which made me a bit more aggressive with woman in general (one of them really did something disgusting and basically dropped all the rest down from the pedestal i had put them on)

 

So at this club i approach this girl and start dancing with her. She is into it, we are talking, she is really flirty. I go in for a kiss as we get close, she backs away and says its too early. Then we keep talking, and she takes a photo at some point. I later use a good line and say my friends are leaving and id really like that photo since it was halloween and stuff. She says oh ill give you my info and hit me up on facebook and we'll see how it goes.

 

So i hit her up on fb, and i then realize damn this girl is beautiful...like im not bad looking, i think im decent looking but score a few points higher when woman get to know me, but this girl is just good looking period. I msg her on fb and say hey, i didnt get your number but i would love to take you out on this amazing date and she writes back with her number...

 

i txt her and we eventually go out for like a mid afternoon dinner before her work. She shows up 15 minutes late, and we are sort of rushing before her work but she seems a little stuck up telling me she is pretty new to city life and she has only been here a few months but loves (insert ritzy restaurant, and designer store here). She offers to pay but I pay for dinner and the date goes on, i walk her to her work and we hug goodbye.

 

I txt a couple days later saying i had a good time and we should do it again. We set up a 2nd date and she ends up canceling because of work or something. I txt her saying, hey its no problem, txt me back if you want to keep going out...she replies yes lets reschedule. So eventually we reschedule and go out on a 2nd date to a movie. I end up being late and she is standing there waiting and is not upset which i like a lot. We go to this movie and sit, and she gets popcorn and a drink and asks me if im getting anything, i say no its alright, and she gets 1 straw and the drink. During the movie she is like scarffing it down and giving like no attention. Add to that the movie is HORRIBLE, so half way through i just look at her and i say, "this movie is so bad, if we leave now ill pay you for what your ticket cost" and she is like yeh its bad lets leave. We go end up getting a cup of coffee, and i wait with her at the bus, but still there is like nothing going on. Hug goodbye and i say next time she has to pick a better date idea, and she says yeh there is a restaurant she wants to try out.

 

Basically, its been a couple days, i have not gotten a msg, but i know she still knows i exists because she put "like" on one of my fb status's.

 

Do i msg her about the 3rd date? on the 2nd date she looked amazing. Im being honest, there was not a girl more attractive in all of my cities downtown area. I know she likes me to a degree as well, since she looked up my fb before giving me her number i think, since she asked a couple of times what i thought of a photo of her on her fb, so i know she is the "creepen" kind. Maybe she doesnt like the fact that i still live with my parents, and i dont have a car....but i did say i have a fair bit of money (which i do) that im saving for an apartment downtown, and i dress well.

 

Now what do i do? I dont share the same interests as her, she likes partying and clubbing and techno, and ritzy restaurants, and im really down to earth...i like video games, country, sports on tv, doing nothing with friends. Im not obsessed with this girl, but man would i like to see if i could get anywhere with this girl just for the sake of picking up other girls due to being with a model (random girls i dont speak to often have been talking to me more now that they know im dating this 9).

 

So do i txt her about a 3rd date? i dont mind being the one to bring it up, but its getting really close to friendzone right now, and i have enough girls who are my friends...should i send a flirty txt? she is not real talkative in txt, or fb...i know that because she doesnt reply to anything on her wall and she told me isnt big on long txt or online chatting.

 

So should i just leave it? or as so many men do, keep going after it and hope

 

LET ME ADD:

 

let me mention again that im not that into this girl. In 2 and a half weeks, ive probably msged her once on fb, and like 4 txts.

 

Its not something that is contantly on my mind, its just 4 am and im at work, and i was wondering if i should go on this date...i couldnt care less if i slept with this girl, i just want to avoid the friendzone and/or find out if she wants more than just calling it a date.

 

and i posted this on another site and they were like yeh go for it because you live at home etc etc. Naw, i by no means came off as a nerd i think, there was a lot of posturing both ways...but there is a very high cost of living in the city i live in, and lots of people live home and the transit system is one of the best in the world, business people etc take it. I mean she takes the bus!

 

That's a looong post;) This girl sounds cold..seems to me she's not really interested....Actually i'm not sure you like the girl either;You kept saying she's good looking and she's attractive,but do you feel any sparks or connection in there?It might be your male vanity at work that you are tempted to go for the chase to finally land the girl..if you dont think you two will be compatible and you are not even sure there is any connection,plus you even said yourself that you dont want to sleep with her?maybe you should just let it go, it doesnt sound worth it

[Twos Company]

Hi there,

What struck me was the way people read different things into situations. You were of the opinion that she was somewhat rude at the movies when she bought the popcorn and drink and only one straw? but I wouldnt see anything wrong with that...in fact I would like the guy to offer to buy the drink and popcorn, Id be happy to buy him some of course but it shows a guy is gentlemanly for him to offer first, you didnt mention if this was the case?

Also you poo pooed the movie and suggested leaving before it was finished and offered to pay to compensate? I dont know but if that were me on a second date with a guy I didnt know, I would consider him a bit fussy and wonder why he couldnt have just made the most of it in the name of graciousness or even turned it into a joke and have a laugh together about how bad the film was.

 

Could this have turned her off?...if it was me then I think it would have... stuff like that matters early on when you're getting to know someone.

[that girl]

Im not obsessed with this girl, but man would i like to see if i could get anywhere with this girl just for the sake of picking up other girls due to being with a model (random girls i dont speak to often have been talking to me more now that they know im dating this 9).

This would be a dumb reason to keep dating her.

 

You don't know why they're talking to you.

 

Maybe they think you have money to score such a hot chick.

 

Maybe they were worried you were interested in them but seeing you in a relationship takes this away.

 

Maybe it is all in your head (you have only been on two dates with this girl, how many people have even seen you together).

 

And a girl who goes after you because you're dating a 9 wouldn't be the laid back type you seem to be looking for.

[bac]

I have tried to read your long description of your problem. I did not find any problem there. She is a normal girl who expects you to take all initiative and be persistant. Many girls think that it is not a great idea to be easy about physical stuff (kisses on the first dates) and scheduling dates. It just means that she is not easy(not kind of a slut) and perhaps she is looking for a relationship.

Being beautiful is tough because the girls, if they are selective, reject too many guys and as result of that they have no one. Also, guys are afraid to take initiative with beautiful girls because they believe in the imaginary competition.

 

If you like the girl, you might want to continue to chase her unless there would be clear signs of rejection.

[Cee]

I go clubbing in NYC about twice a month and each club has it's own reputation. Please tell me it wasn't at Pacha. That place is horrible.

 

If you are in NYC, being friends with her will get expensive. A club with a big name is $20 at the door plus $4 coat check and $10 drinks.

 

I say go clubbing with her at a really cool party like Cielo, Sullivan Room, or Love. If District 36 opens, they have a crazy good line up for techno. There's a bunch of parties in Brooklyn too. Give it your best effort and if you have a blast with her, maybe you have a chance at friendship or more. If that sounds like a nightmare, pass on her.

 

By the way, I'm not a club girl. I'm a music fanatic. Definitely not young and hot by any stretch of the imagination.

[dazedandconfused1]

thanks for all the advice guys.

 

and i get what you guys are saying, but from a friend of mine who knew her in college, he said she is like a party girl, not really a prune, and thats what is confusing me....im not self conscious, if you like me, give me a sign, or stop dating me.

 

If she doesnt msg back before her next day off Tuesday, do i msg her? Ask her to do something? But it has to be a fun date. I like the guys comment to do something thats fun that i like...i just dont have anything in mind right now...i wanna have a fun date, you guys got any ideas?

 

I was also thinking of not msging her and just showing up at her work on wednesday since she a hostess at a restaurant...

 

Thanks for the help again, i know i come off probably as pretty girly in these posts hahah

[loverush]

What to say, decision is yours. You only know you better then anyone. My point is just msg her one last time! Then let we see she is interested in you or not. If she reply you back then start chatting and after couple of msg ask her you want to meet her!

 

Sorry for my bad English!

[dazedandconfused1]

Okay, so I went by her work but she wasn't there. Replied a cpl hours later saying she was at a concert.

 

I said okay so I guess we aren't doing anything this week? Figuring I'd gtfo before she told me to, and she replied sure,what would u like to do?

 

So now wee are going to the art gallery and she is going apartment hunting with me later in the week.

 

My question to you guys is, how do I distinguish or get out of friendzone before I go on this art gallery thing. I'm suppose to call her tonight about it, and I would really like to figure out where I'm at before I go out again and am stuck with this person after misunderstanding the mood or making a wrong or illtimed move.

Anything I can say to get the vibe before hand? I'm pretty sure she likes my company but in what capacity I don't know. Any suggestions? Hopefully before I go out I can know.

[Twos Company]

Im not sure why you think you may be in or about to enter the friendzone? shes going out with you for the 3rd time, surely shes interested, I would class this next meeting as a date...but please let her know you like her in that way, subtly tease her in a jokey way perhaps? you know.. a light compliment...she'll get what you mean, and hopefully respond the way you'd like. I know I like it when a guy makes it clear he likes me, and unless hes downright crude, I tend to warm to him for making the effort, and if Im interested then I'll be playful back or respond in a like manner to mirror him.

If Im not interested, then Id be polite but wouldnt get into the flirty/teasing thing with him

 

Good luck

[musemaj11]

Thats what happen when you are with someone who is much more attractive than you are.

 

If someone is into you as much as you are into her, she will be showing as much interest as you are and it is very easy to tell.

 

Now its pretty much your choice.

 

Honestly, Im sure she has some attraction toward you be it your appearance or your personality (money is obviously out of the question since she already knows you arent rich ). But I really dont think she is that into you dude.

Edited November 15, 2010 by musemaj11

[xpaperxcutx]

Lol the irony.

 

If you're not that attracted to her, why do you care if she friendzones you?

 

I think you're just her as your pedestal excuse. Since you're not putting her on a pedestal, you're hoping that she'll put you on one and chase after you.

[dazedandconfused1]

One said yes she is into you, other said no...and the other said maybe...

 

I'm inclined with the no, but I'm hoping for a yes more or less because it would just be nice like the other poster said. I'm not in love, but I'm pretty sure if any of u were in my situation with a girl who is a model, u would just want to know if it was a possibility more than anything.

 

I want to figure that out hopefully on the phone call, so I don't end up on another 2 hour dating being with the best looking girl the movies, bar etc, and having people wonder if I'm her gay friend lol.

 

And I'm not bad looking, I think I'm good looking actually. I can post a pic of it will help decipher what my course of action should be. I just thought I knew my potential/league, and by my understanding she is not in there as a date/gf...maybe a drunken one night stand.

 

Thanks for all the replies btw...as the other guy mentioned I'm used to dating average to below average girls so I don't have to analyse this stuff lol