broken down car, empty promises, forgotten words....what's it all mean?

[webercoleen]

This is soooooo long. I'm so sorry. Just read it, please?

 

My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago. We were together for 4 1/2 years. I found out a few weeks before we intended to move in together that he had been cheating on me and going out behind my back for the biggest majority of our relationship. To say the least, he had been living a completely separate life.

 

When I broke up with him, he said that he still wanted to be friends and that he would always be there for me, regardless of if my feelings changed for him. For a while, he did keep that. If I needed to talk, he was there. We did talk on a pretty regular basis. Randomly, however, he stopped talking to me completely. I took this as a sign for me to move on and I stopped talking to him too. A month or so later, he talked to me randomly on facebook. I told him him not to talk to me anymore and he deleted me on facebook. I felt incredibly bad about it the next day and apologized to him. He said talking to me "made him feel bad" and that he didn't want to be friends on facebook because it was "better that way. he didn't want to see my updates."

 

A few days later, my car broke down beside the road. I called him after I could not get in touch with anyone else. He began suggesting people I could call, and even after I said I couldn't reach them, he did not offer to come pick me up. He told me to call the cops and then stopped replying. I know it's not his job, but I just felt a little hurt that he did not care more than that, you know? A week or so later, I talked to him again and he was rude to me. Completely different; treated me like I was one of his guy friends. I asked him if he even wanted to be my friend and he said "meh now is not a good time." Then, he just signed offline while I was talking.

So....I don't understand.

 

I don't understand what he's thinking, what this means, what he's doing. I don't get it. I know I should move on, and i'm trying really hard to, it just hurts that after so long he simply can just cut it off, like that. I do not understand his reasons behind it. Can you please help me figure out what this means? Your honest thoughts and advice? I feel like he's trying to tell me that he wants nothing to do with me...yet he randomly pops up and asks me if i'm okay. It's just all so confusing.

Edited November 14, 2010 by webercoleen

[skydiveaddict]

Sometimes you cant understand it You just have to keep pressing

[sedgwick]

Why would you even entertain the thought of being "friends" with someone who was living a separate life behind your back and lying to you for years? Why would you think that was a person you could turn to in a time of need?

[webercoleen]

I would entertain the idea of being his friend simply because it's very difficult to cut him out of my life. Like I said, I am trying my best to move on and get over it....however, it's very hard. It's devastating to break up in that way, after that long. To know that someone you gave your whole world to lived a different life...it is very hard to simply "get over it" and move on. I am trying, however, I do not want to delete him from everything and cut him out forever...you know? I just can't imagine doing that. I don't know.

[sedgwick]

Man, if I found out someone had been lying to me for years, and I then called him when my car broke down and he left me stranded on the side of the road, he'd be GONE. If these are your friends, I'd hate to see your enemies!!

 

BACKBONE, woman! You must get some!!!