Rak Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Where to begin? I think instead of revealing every bizarre argument we had, I will offer up this one with a bit of background first: She's 26, I'm 34. We got together. It was passionate and we were both dead excited. She's never had a relationship that lasted beyond 9 or 10 months. I was with someone for 3 years and was married for one of those years. About a week in we go out for drinks near my place. We talk about all sorts of things, and then a movie comes up. She's not familiar with it. I try to help her out: 'It's got Eva Mendes in it....you know, the really hot Latin-American lady.' Her face clouds over a bit. 'Oh, you fancy her, do you?' I laugh at first, and reassure her that she's a movie star, not real! But she can't let it go. She goes on and on...in the taxi home...still pouting, still picking over my words. We get near to my flat and I stop her, put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eye: 'You're going to mess this up.' She looks confused.'What do you mean?' 'I mean, you can't be this jealous...this insecure. It will do for us. I've been that way myself, and been on the receiving end. I'm really, really chuffed to be with you. Please accept that.' What did she do? Well, for a second she looked like she understood. And then she carried on...'but you said she's hot' etc etc. I went to sleep a troubled man. And it's kind of been like that ever since. At this point we are broken up. But I love her and miss her terribly. I know it may seem daft, after all I live in a city with literally a million lovely girls in it, but she is so damn funny and sexy. And she adores me. She's been treated very shabbily by some of her exes, yet denies it affects her...
nkolod2 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 as sad as it is this girl kind of sounds like how I can be at times, although thankfully not to that unreasonable extreme. my ex treated me very badly due to his insecurities, and it has carried over into my current relationship with my loving and sincere boyfriend. currently we are broken up but he has said he is thinking about giving me another (a third) chance. all i can say is that if the girl has realized that she has issues, like i surely have, and knows that you are the one she wants to be with and will do anything for, give her another chance. if it the relationship was a long one but she still did not progress at all or at least admit she has a problem, talk to her and make sure she understands why its not working between the two of you, and (try) and move on...
Author Rak Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Well, unfortunately, it is serious and not a wind-up. Here's a further tale for you: We first started chatting on MySpace. She tapped me up; I was very flattered (she's stunning, imho). We had a really good laugh on MSN, and I was very impressed with her. I gave her my number, saying, 'you know, just in case you fancy going out for a beer or whatever some time.' She said she'd bear it in mind... The next evening I went out with some friends, and met a girl who worked in a bar. She was cool, we got on well, exchanged numbers and that was that. MySpace girl disappeared from MSN for a good week, and I was disappointed, but I had this new girl to occupy my time, so I shrugged and thought, maybe one day, who knows. About 2 weeks later and MySpace girl has reappeared and given me her number. We exchange one or two texts, and it's all quite innocent. I ask her what she's up to, and she says she's having a drink with friends in a bar I'm familiar with. She asks if I wanna come over. Now, given that the girl I was seeing was rather mysterious, and I suspected that I was one of many, I didn't hesitate to agree to meet up with MySpace. She seemed more my kind of girl, so I was intrigued and was hoping to have a good laugh and begin a nice friendship which could lead...who knows where. I met up with her and at first it was cool. We swapped a few jokes, I met her friends, and supped my beer. But...well, those girls were really going at it! They were knocking back the cocktails like there was no tomorrow, and before long MySpace was acting a little bit immaturely - offering me a bit of her food before snatching the spoon away at the last minute type stuff. I grew somewhat irritated when she turned her back and yaddered with her friends for several minutes. There was a band playing and it was really loud, which didn't exactly help the whole situation. She turned back and beamed a big smile at me and we tried to talk about a few more things. And then she stood up and twirled around and fell on her ass. She laughed into her hands and I shook my head, rather embarrassed as people were looking over. I reached out my hand so that she could help herself back up, but she didn't really see. She staggered to her feet and I caught the dirtiest look from one of her friends, like, why haven't you rushed down from your stool to help her? I suddenly got a bit pissed off with the whole situation. MySpace was busy brushing fag ash off her butt to say anything much to me, so I drank-up, said, 'I've gotta go,' and left. I don't think she heard over the noise of the band. A little melodramatic from me, perhaps, but it was a a pretty dumb display by her. I got down onto the street, looked at my watch, saw that it was still early-ish, and thought, 'Hey, bar girl is on the way home. I'll drop by and say hi. Don't want to go home with that little display still in my head.' I dropped by, had a brew, mentioned the event with the girl, she shrugged, and I went home. The next day I called Myspace to see if she was all right. She took the day off work she was so hungover. She said, 'hey, where'd you go last night. I turned around and you'd gone.' I said, 'Yeah, sorry, but to be honest you were being a bloody nightmare!' 'Oh..just a little bit drunk...I haven't seen those girls in ages...and I'm not used to drinking spirits.' I tell her it's ok. No real harm done. I say we should meet up some time soon. A few days later I found out that bar girl was indeed shagging around. I wasn't too surprised. I called it off, and later that day gave Myspace a call to tell her. She seemed pleased. And a few days after that we had a lovely evening together and have been an item ever since. Well, until recently... She did get rather upset around the time of the infamous Eva Mendes incident regarding me seeing someone else the first time I met her. I said, listen, I'm not some Playboy, and I wasn't trying to date two people at once. The bar girl was clearly never gonna work out, and I kinda had long-term thoughts where you were concerned, so it was just a beer at that point. I wanted to take it slow with you; try and build a bit of a friendship first. Now, 4 months down the line something triggered her to remember all this, and then it became a huge issue. She's hopping mad that I went off to see that bar girl after I left her and her friends. Admittedly it's a bit messy, but she's so worked up about it...accusing me of sleeping with her (not true), and trying to somehow claim that we were together from that point, so technically I've cheated on her!! I'm like, how can you possibly think that we began that night? She goes on and on about being a substitute....2nd choice.....not good enough for me.... I don't know how to convince her that I'm serious. I mean, we recently came back from an 11 day holiday together that I paid for.
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