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Inner hurts

tykira

By tykira
in Coping

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tykira Member

tykira

Posted
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For those who don't know my story, you can find it here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2799445#post2799445

 

Wow, I'm still pretty hammered on my friend despite our constant distance from each other. Half of me wanted to leave and start over, but the other side can't bare the fact that I might lose the only chance of reconciliation with her. I'm still going to my main home church and we're joined in the same choir and dance group just like in the old days. It still hurts deep down that there can never be an 'us' because of this sin. She has the qualities I was looking for this whole time in a partner AND a best friend, and I lost them both. I don't know what it was about her, but she made my life so much happier and more sane and stable. But at the same time, she would make it the opposite of that when she clearly ignores me and talks to everyone else, including other guys.

 

I know I've lost my mind, and the counseling I went to didn't really work. I think I know what I must do. I need to break off all contact from her. That means no more facebook contact, and possibly no more church activities? Hmm, I shouldn't stop going to church because I can't seem to get over her. :o Oh, why did I fall in love with a boy-crazy chick? >.> The people there don't want me to leave, but I can't exactly tell them WHY I feel I need to leave. This is definitely a bad time to have these issues, especially during the school term. This is probably why I can never have a 'normal' relationship with a guy because I still have this crap baggage stuck in my head like a leach that won't let go. I wish I never loved her so much, no matter how well she treated me.

 

No matter how many times I went to counseling or church, I couldn't seem to remove or dig out these 'thorns' of bitterness, jealousy, anger, hatred and non-trust out of my heart. Hopefully you guys can help me explore these areas and figure out what EXACTLY is going on with me. I honestly don't know what else to do about this and it's messing up my life.

  • 1 month later...
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted

Let it go to God to take the bitterness away and have no more contact with her.

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