I keep spying on my boyfriend

[MaryLU]

My boyfriend of 3 years doesn't know this about me. I hacked into his account (someone did it for me and I paid that person) and found nothing but commercial spams and him writing to his buddy about the basketball series, his job, etc. (the typical conversation men talk about). Sometimes I sneaked up on him. Twice I have showed up unexpected on his house (actually I also went to his house when he wasn't there, searched through stuff but found nothing) and showed up at his job while he was working. Sometimes I just drive my truck to see if he's there as he promised and it comes out true.

So far he has given me no reason to distrust him but I get curious. It's due to my past that I'm acting like this but he doesn't know this. The truth is I'm a very jealous woman.

 

Is there a way I can stop checking up on my boyfriend?

Edited November 14, 2010 by MaryLU

[zengirl]

My boyfriend of 3 years doesn't know this about me. I hacked into his account (someone did it for me and I paid that person) and found nothing but commercial spams and him writing to his buddy about the basketball series, his job, etc. (the typical conversation men talk about). Sometimes I sneaked up on him. Twice I have showed up unexpected on his house (twice I went to his house when he's not there, searched through stuff but found nothing) and several time while he was working. Sometimes I just drive my truck to see if he's there as he promised and it comes out true.

So far he has given me no reason to distrust him but I get curious. It's due to my past that I'm acting like this but he doesn't know this. The truth is I'm a very jealous woman.

 

Is there a way I can stop checking up on my boyfriend?

 

Yes, you can stop by stopping. Choose to stop and you'll stop. Accept that life is full of uncertainty and this behavior is protecting you from nothing and only hindering you.

[MaryLU]

Yes, you can stop by stopping. Choose to stop and you'll stop. Accept that life is full of uncertainty and this behavior is protecting you from nothing and only hindering you.

I've been trying but it has become a habit. Sometimes it's hard to break from it but I'll try to stop this.

 

This is more like curiousity but I always end up feeling bad when finding nothing. Has any of you ever gone this just out of curiousity?

 

I'll tell myself to stop though it'll be hard at first.

[Lucky555]

Does he give you enough communication, is he fully committed? I found myself worrying in a relationship when the guy didn't really seem to be investing himself emotionally. Is he giving you enough or are you trying to play it cool as not to become pushy? I know I felt this way because I didn't feel like I could quite trust a boyfriend of mine. I didn't go by his work or hack into his stuff but I did check up on him. I listened to my instincts and I realized he was lying to me about certain things.

 

I don't know if I should tell you to stop because maybe your instincts are picking up on something. I do know you should think about the reasons why this is a good relationship and what questions you have about it to. I think you are seeking reassurance that he isn't a bad guy but I am just going to say our past does affect us but you need to step back and look at the relationship. What worries you? Is he looking for the same things? Does he give you assurance that he is with you? Does he play games or act aloof? Just think about the pros and cons then see if you need to talk to him about anything such as does he want the same things, maybe you need him to call more it's a relationship afterall.

[skydiveaddict]

I would keep spying. He's probably a lying, cheating bastard like the rest of us

[DellPickle]

Another angle, and this probably isnt true, but are you like looking for a reason to possibly end the relationship, perhaps even subconsciously?

 

Are you guys moving to like that near possible engagement stage, so you are starting to maybe worry about it and start to analyze everything about him?