zebralady43 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I have been in a long distance relationship with my bf for over a year now. Here's a little background. When we first met I had just gotten out of a relationship and vowed to never date again. He was fine with that. He said we can be friends forever or if and when I was ready he would be too. He was soooooo patient and kind and understanding. He is also married and told me that up front. They had been separated for almost 6 months when I met him. He treated me like a queen.He would make special trips to come see me and surprise me. I finally developed feelings for him and now love him alot. He is currently unemployed. His former employer shut the plant down. So he's under alot of stress worrying about how he's going to keep his house. He told me that his wife wanted him under her thumb 24/7 and he refuses to live like that again. About 2 months ago we was on an outing and he got a voicemail. I kind of joked with him about it being a job offer and he said I wish, but wouldn't offer any other information. He seems to keep alot of things to himself. I haven't seen him in almost a month bcz his dog was having problems and he had to put drops in her eyes every 2 hrs. This went on for 2 weeks. Now he just has to do it 6-8 times/day. So I asked him when we was going to see each other. He said he wasn't sure since he still had to give her drops. I said well why not this weekend, you can bring her with you or i could come up there. He never answered me. I have tried to find someone that would hack into his phone so that I can find out if he's cheating on me. I recently contracted an STD from him. And he never offered an explanation. But the doctor said it can lay dormant for a long time. So he could have had it even since before we got together. By the way, we very very seldom have unprotected sex, this is one time that we didn't. I told him that I have insecurities and he said I shouldn't. How can I not have insecurities. He says he wants to see me but yet, I'm sitting here alone. We was texting each other earlier and now I haven't heard a word from him in almost 2 hrs? I will be making a surprise visit to see him tomorrow and we're going to have a very long talk. He asked me how I can think things are not right after a year of being together. I also been to his house and haven't seen any signs of any woman being there. Even one surprise visit. How can he do this to me???????????
aerogurl87 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Something isn't right here. He's making excuses and either 1) he's cheating or 2) he wants out of the relationship, but doesn't want to say so for one reason or another. Either way, this doesn't look good but I'd say a surprise visit just might be a good thing to do.
LisaLee Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 He's married. He's unemployed. He gave you an STD. You don't trust him. I think it might be time to let this one go, but that's just me.
folieadeux Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I’m sorry but I wouldn’t even bother with the visit. Regardless of if he’s cheating or not, he clearly isn’t invested in this relationship the same way you are. And let’s not forget about him potentially giving you an STD and putting your health in jeopardy. I couldn’t tell from your post, but is he legally divorced yet?
Author zebralady43 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 No he's not. Which I've been wondering why he didn't when he had a job and money
LittleTiger Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 He's married. He's unemployed. He gave you an STD. You don't trust him. I think it might be time to let this one go, but that's just me. I second this! I don't like to be brutal but, honestly, this is staring you in the face. He is investing zero time in you and your relationship. He isn't interested. Don't waste your time going to visit. Walk away NOW.
Author zebralady43 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 I know I should just give it up, but I'm one that needs some kind of answers or closure. So I'm going up today and we're talking. Thanks to everyone for your help.
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