Poor Judgement

[circa66]

I know I made a mistake. I met a woman who was at the end of her relationship with her childrens father. Never married. I myself have been divorced for over six years. I have done my work. Been in relationships and considered myself very happy and adjusted. We met on facebook in July of 2009, met in person in November of 2009 and became intimate in January of this year. She lived three and a half hours away from me. We seemed a perfect match. She was into a healthy lifestyle, a decent parent and we shared a great sense of humour. We also ran many races together. She had claimed me as her soulmate,told me in january she loved me and said she was moving to my city in nine months. She became a part of me, became friends with a couple of my female friends and would tell them how much she loved me. In June of this year we ran a half marathon in her hometown. I felt that weekend something was amiss and I attributed it to adjusting to her break up. BTW my daughter came up with me to the race so we never got together in an intimate way. A few days after the race I noticed she was overly flirty to a facebook friend of hers and he talked of them getting together that night or next to watch a movie or whatever. I was totally shocked. I saw he had a female friend i have met before and texted her to find out wtf. She said yes, he was in a relationship with her. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. I confronted her and she claimed that she only met him once and only sold him fierwood. Maybe they talked for an hour online. He only put that up because he was being stalked and wanted a girl to leave him alone.I texted the mutual friend and she said he was just dumped by her. This was all very hard to swallow but she deleted him and about 100 fb friends. She had her mom and sister add me as fb friends and seemed to step up to the plate. She listed herself as in a relationship with me and things moved forward. I should have walked away then but I had met someone who I adored mentally and physically. The next few months were awesome. We never saw each as much as we would have liked but we were working towards something and i had planned to winter with her and her kids. We actally planned our daughters to meet on Nov 9th during at a concert. As early as Sept 2 she was so pumped to go to it. I cancelled a running trip I had planned with friends to attend a convention with her she was attending in Niagara Falls at the end of sept. In the middle of september we spent a weekend together. She ran her first full marathon that she did not train for and the day before that she totalled her car. Traumatic experiences. I was swamped with work and sent her back on a bus which she claimed was perfectly acceptable. The next couple of weeks before our trip something seemed to have changed. She talked about her friend helping her out and she rented a car an hour from her town which made little sense until now. We met at the airport and went to the convention. During the flight she made comments that seemed odd. While in Niagara Falls we had a great time, people called us lovebirds and her friends commented how wonderful and supportive here boyfriend was but something was off. When we got back we both had lots of work to do and said we would try to get together in a couple of weeks. Knowing this was all weird I went on this guys facebook page and he was bragging up about going to the lake and seeing autumn, wink wink, leaves that is. Autumn is her middle name. I have never been cheated on and felt it was happening. I tried to call her on sunday morning at 6am and finally at 8am she answered my text. I said I need to talk to her, hear her voice. she refused saying she was waiting for a cab to go to gymnastics and could not even talk to me for 5 seconds. Of course she wasnt at home and that why she could not answer. she was at the lake. I told her she was hurting me and all she said she could not talk about it she would break down. omg, u betrayed me and YOU will break down. Later that day she said she need space to figure things out but the next day she texted me to say she was thinking of me non stop and even resorted to messaging my daughter to find out how i was. totally inappropriate. By thursday she posted a parody video about a girl choosing between two guys on her fb. I commented it was the cruelist thing i ever saw. she said it was just something her and her daughter saw and thought was funny. I had enough and drove up there. had supper, met her kids for the first time and stayed there but nothing happened because i never wanted to but she wasnt offering either. The next morning i left early so the kids would not know i slept there and came back after they were off to school. We had the talk. She said she could not be in a relationship, she had not yet grieved the end of her relationship with the kids dad but also hinted she was moving and will have a bigger tv. It was all mixed up. I asked her if there was someone else, she lied like a sidewalk. Of course not she said. We hugged and kissed and cried. As i was walking out the door she said she made a mistake. I never asked what it was, I regret that. I deleted her as a fb friend, moved my staus to single and was moving on. A week later she finally deleted the pics of us and i went back on this guys site and he was bragging on how they were finally together now. I snapped. All the lies and betrayal. All our future plans a joke. When she found out I knew she became his fb friend, he listed himself in a relationship with her and she deletd by two pals as her friend. The next morning in a text she replied she fell out of love with me 3 weeks earlier and this was not about the new guy. I did not reply and have had NC since. I have blamed myself, tried to rationalize its a grass is greener syndrome, said she needed to find herself etc. Its only been a month since all of this happened. I have seen a therapist twice already, been on meds for anxiety and depression. My work has suffered, i lost almost 30 pounds in a month. Sick as it was I hate her and I miss her. I am told this is not about me but I feel like the biggest loser around even though i have a great rep and people say I am at a toatlly different level than her and should be happy she is out of my life. When people cheat it hurst the very fiber of who we are.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes when people cheat it hurts us down to the core.

 

I am sorry that you went through this. You will be glad that she is gone soon enough because she doesn't have the character to be honest or stable. Find someone that is.:bunny: