V4Vanna Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Hi all.... So I started seeing this guy at the beginning of the week (yes this week), and things were going great. I was having a great time we talked and texted daily and hung out three nights in a row. I was having a great time and enjoyed his company and we have a lot of the same values. But then I started to get uncomfortable...he would always tell me I was beautiful and amazing, which is nice, but became too often, too much. Then when we'd hang out he'd go into how we're perfect for each other and he'd never hurt me, etc. etc. Then today he started on about how there's something really special between us and asked me if I would ever hurt him (emotionally)...to be completely honest it was while we were having sex. So after said sex session I started thinking over all he said and realized i'm no where near where here seems to be and was getting freaked out. Was I justified in being freaked out and making a quick exit? Was he being clingy or was it me being too picky and wanting a guy who didn't get so emotionally attached so soon...especially when I'm not even sure I like him?
AlisaMarie Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Hello! Well after a week of dating, you really don't even know the person and what they are all about. You are not being picky at all! As human beings, we want to wonder a little and have somewhat of a chase. Sounds like he has some issues to cling on so fast. From experience, once this happens, it's hard to get them to back off because you give them a complex early on. I just don't think he's for you and you're not ready for what he wants to offer. I hope this helps!
Banega100 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 he sounds fckin mental. Too bad for him. He'll learn the hard way though, like we all do...
LovelyDaze Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 That's how a LOT of doomed relationships start. It's extremely rare to have a successful and lengthy relationship after just dating one week. Now I (and just my opinion) would have done what you did and ran for the hills because that instant clinginess of a sign that he has a truckload more of baggage than most. A healthy relationship DOES start off with starry eyes and romantic envisions for the future but it is nice little attraction that slowly smooths itself into love, trust and respect for one another. A relationship also seems to start off easy-breezy but it takes work to keep it going. He is omitting the work based on his infatuation.
daphne Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 V- How old is this guy? I think sometimes guys get attached when sex is in play. Perhaps wait it out next time to see if you like the guy enouhg for a relationship. Or be sure he doesn't care. Personally, I have a hard time trusting someone who makes such proclamations so early on. Why does he want you to trust him so much so soon? So he can forego the uneasiness we all have early on in dating? Cos basically it sounds like he wants the reassurance for himself more than he wants to reassure you. Early on I have a policy of not believing a word they say. Infatuation makes guys lie like cheap Persian rugs. This guy has red flag written all over him.
Author V4Vanna Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 V- How old is this guy? I think sometimes guys get attached when sex is in play. Perhaps wait it out next time to see if you like the guy enouhg for a relationship. . D - He's 33 and your right. The sex was too much, too soon and was totally my fault in every way. I saw the red flags but tried to push them off as minor or subtly cute. Yea. Bad idea. Once the bombardment of 'i'll never leave you, you won't hurt me will you?, and I'll never hurt you' came in, I was freaked, done, and out of there. As to what you say about the trust in the initial phase of the relationship...I agree. I usually don't trust them and those sentiments till its proven they can be trusted.
daphne Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Nothing wrong with giving a guy a chance even if there are red flags. I think there always are a few to every person. You just have to see if they are things you can deal with. Live and learn. If you wanted to sleep with him, no harm no foul. It's just hard to get to a real relationship if you put the cart before the horse, imo. Contrary to popular myth.
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