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For those lamenting the lack of sex - Be careful what you wish for

Toodamnpragmatic

By Toodamnpragmatic
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Eeyore79 Established Member

Eeyore79

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3x a day for an extended period would give me a UTI :(

 

My partner and I sometimes do it 3-4x a day, but not every day - on average we probably do it once a day, assuming we have time alone together. That "once a day" isn't a sex marathon though - more often than not it will be a 20min quickie, or sometimes just a blow job. Proper sex, the sort that lasts for hours and involves more than one orgasm for both of us, is usually reserved for weekends or evenings when we're home alone.

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Toodamnpragmatic Established Member

Toodamnpragmatic

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I better go and get my testosterone levels checked (or was sadly repressed as a teenager/young adult), because obviously they are dangerously low when all I ever wished for and wanted probably even back then was 1X/day (now 2-3X/wk)......;):p:D

 

Of course a surprise 2X/evening is more then welcome too....;)

ReturnToSender Established Member

ReturnToSender

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3x a day for an extended period would give me a UTI :(

 

My partner and I sometimes do it 3-4x a day, but not every day - on average we probably do it once a day, assuming we have time alone together. That "once a day" isn't a sex marathon though - more often than not it will be a 20min quickie, or sometimes just a blow job. Proper sex, the sort that lasts for hours and involves more than one orgasm for both of us, is usually reserved for weekends or evenings when we're home alone.

 

You know... when my ex and I first got married I got a UTI... I didnt connect the two cause it never happened again, maybe my body just got used to all that activity? :o

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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Some of what you missed out on is the pain of insatiable need. It might be fun to have lots and lots of sex, but very high libido can be marked by a lack of true, lasting satisfaction. It can be like trying to fill up a cup that has a hole in it.

 

It breaks my heart that a 46 year old woman would feel unwanted simply because her bf doesn't want sex multiple times a day (although there may be much more to the situation).

ReturnToSender Established Member

ReturnToSender

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Some of what you missed out on is the pain of insatiable need. It might be fun to have lots and lots of sex, but very high libido can be marked by a lack of true, lasting satisfaction. It can be like trying to fill up a cup that has a hole in it.

 

It breaks my heart that a 46 year old woman would feel unwanted simply because her bf doesn't want sex multiple times a day (although there may be much more to the situation).

 

Very true in the case of my marriage. The sex was the only thing we had in common and the only thing we liked about each other... If we werent having sex we were fighting...so we opted for the more fun alternative. Crazy really...he didnt even tell his family about me until we were already married, and I knew from a month in that it was a mistake...the only thing that kept our marriage going as long as it did was the sex. Neither one of us were getting any of our other needs met, so we took full advantage of the one thing we could do.

 

So yeah, I do think that just as lack of sex can mean problems...unrealistically large amounts of it can mean problems too.... and there probably is more to it for this woman, that shes substituting something she needs with wanting more sex...

Stung Established Member

Stung

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Enough already, let's have a show of hands those that have had it 21X's week......:laugh:;):D Anyone???? And how old were you and how long did you keep it up????

 

My husband and I kept up that kind of pace for the first year we were together, when we were together--we had a LDR, so when we were together we were usually having sex 2-4x per day. We saw each other every other weekend, as well as a few solid weeks whenever possible (my husband would sometimes arrange to work remotely so he could stay with me). Once we moved in together, we eventually settled in at around 7-10x per week for the next couple years, right up until our son was born. A baby with big sleep issues has slowed us down somewhat, to just 2-4x per week.

 

Now that we've been together 5-6 years, we've discovered that my sex drive is a little higher than my husband's. He is perfectly content with every other day, while my spirit is willing for every day, although right now my flesh is a little weak from sleep deprivation. If we didn't have kids and responsibilities and were getting better sleep, I'd definitely be good for more. 21x a week would be too much at this point, though-- except for special occasions like romantic trips away.

 

I'm 35, he's 40.

Stung Established Member

Stung

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Most of the times, when women say 'sex' they merely mean 'affection'.

 

A lot of men arent so affectionate. So the only way women can get affection from them is through sex.

 

If a woman already gets kisses and hugs a lot, she wont crave for sex as much.

 

I have noticed that you have some very--unique--ideas about sexual expression.

 

I can assure you that I and all of the women I know are completely aware of the differences between sexual and affectionate touch, and most of us crave BOTH.

 

My husband, by the by: very affectionate.

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Toodamnpragmatic Established Member

Toodamnpragmatic

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My husband and I kept up that kind of pace for the first year we were together, when we were together--we had a LDR, so when we were together we were usually having sex 2-4x per day. We saw each other every other weekend, as well as a few solid weeks whenever possible (my husband would sometimes arrange to work remotely so he could stay with me). Once we moved in together, we eventually settled in at around 7-10x per week for the next couple years, right up until our son was born. A baby with big sleep issues has slowed us down somewhat, to just 2-4x per week.

 

Now that we've been together 5-6 years, we've discovered that my sex drive is a little higher than my husband's. He is perfectly content with every other day, while my spirit is willing for every day, although right now my flesh is a little weak from sleep deprivation. If we didn't have kids and responsibilities and were getting better sleep, I'd definitely be good for more. 21x a week would be too much at this point, though-- except for special occasions like romantic trips away.

 

I'm 35, he's 40.

 

Don't you????;):laugh::D My wife would throw me out of the house or try and have me committed if I sniffed around that much asking for it......;):laugh::D

Els Established Member

Els

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My husband and I kept up that kind of pace for the first year we were together, when we were together--we had a LDR, so when we were together we were usually having sex 2-4x per day. We saw each other every other weekend, as well as a few solid weeks whenever possible (my husband would sometimes arrange to work remotely so he could stay with me). Once we moved in together, we eventually settled in at around 7-10x per week for the next couple years, right up until our son was born. A baby with big sleep issues has slowed us down somewhat, to just 2-4x per week.

 

Now that we've been together 5-6 years, we've discovered that my sex drive is a little higher than my husband's. He is perfectly content with every other day, while my spirit is willing for every day, although right now my flesh is a little weak from sleep deprivation. If we didn't have kids and responsibilities and were getting better sleep, I'd definitely be good for more. 21x a week would be too much at this point, though-- except for special occasions like romantic trips away.

 

I'm 35, he's 40.

 

Yeah, those of us in LDRs are probably the ones who've done the most intense sex marathons. :lmao: I'm not sure if we managed to reach 21x in a week, but definitely at least 16x or so. It was during a one-week visit in which we were both on holiday and spent 100% of our time with each other though (friends, hobbies and obligations could wait, we didn't spend all that money on that bloody expensive plane ticket for nothing). I certainly cannot imagine doing that for the long term in our daily lives, though.

Stung Established Member

Stung

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Don't you????;):laugh::D My wife would throw me out of the house or try and have me committed if I sniffed around that much asking for it......;):laugh::D

 

Hey, like I said, I wouldn't be up for 20x a week now that we live together. I'm not a machine, and certain parts get...sore. I remember being sore in those days but we were in our honeymoon phase and everything was sexy and romantic.

 

To partially amend my earlier statement, I do believe there is something to be said for letting a little anticipation build up. There are certain weeks when I would like to have sex every day maybe 1x per day, and other weeks when I am perfectly okay with our current average of about 3x per week, because the gaps help stoke intensity and desire. Honestly I think it depends somewhat on my menstrual cycle, and I have noticed that being on the pill for the last year has taken some of the edge off my libido.

aerogurl87 Established Member

aerogurl87

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Three times a day, what's wrong with that?

 

It breaks down to, first thing in the morning, upon coming home from work, before bed.

 

I would love that schedule.

 

I agree. Sex to make the work day go better, sex in the afternoon to destress, and sex before bed as a natural sleeping pill for a good night's rest. ;)

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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I agree. Sex to make the work day go better, sex in the afternoon to destress, and sex before bed as a natural sleeping pill for a good night's rest. ;)

 

Most of our sessions take around 3 hours - including foreplay, afterplay, more foreplay etc - we have to set an alarm if one of us needs to be somewhere - so fitting it in 3 times a day under 'normal' circumstances would be impossible.

 

If we don't have to be anywhere, and there's no chance of interruption, we just stay naked all day ........ and I've never counted how many times we do it on those days. :p:D:cool:

 

We have only been together just a over a year though and we're LDR at the moment. We get one solid one month together and then two or three apart, so I guess we're making up for lost time! :laugh:

giotto Established Member

giotto

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I'm not even going to comment on this thread... :rolleyes:

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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I'm not even going to comment on this thread... :rolleyes:

 

:laugh: I think you just did giotto! :D

giotto Established Member

giotto

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:laugh: I think you just did giotto! :D

 

oops... :laugh:

Stung Established Member

Stung

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Most of our sessions take around 3 hours - including foreplay, afterplay, more foreplay etc - we have to set an alarm if one of us needs to be somewhere - so fitting it in 3 times a day under 'normal' circumstances would be impossible.

 

If we don't have to be anywhere, and there's no chance of interruption, we just stay naked all day ........ and I've never counted how many times we do it on those days. :p:D:cool:

 

We have only been together just a over a year though and we're LDR at the moment. We get one solid one month together and then two or three apart, so I guess we're making up for lost time! :laugh:

 

Yep--one nice thing about an LDR is the passionate 'reunions'.

 

I miss the days of the full-on 3-hour sessions, we only manage to muster that kind of energy and creativity once or twice a month, these days, and that's when the special 'props' come out :o. As for the all-day sessions, I am aiming for NEXT anniversary getaway, when we can leave both kids with their grandparents. Our last anniversary we went to an Inn with great sentimental connotation for us, with fireplace and spa tub and king-sized bed and spectacular panoramic ocean view--and we had a busy little chaperone with us in our room the whole time :rolleyes:.

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Toodamnpragmatic Established Member

Toodamnpragmatic

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The responses are not at all what I thought they'd be..... On one hand my wife wants me to quit chasing her around and on the other:D;):laugh: I think I need a testosterone patch from these posts.....

giotto Established Member

giotto

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The responses are not at all what I thought they'd be..... On one hand my wife wants me to quit chasing her around and on the other:D;):laugh: I think I need a testosterone patch from these posts.....

 

ah, ah, lol... I feel depressed... and I'm in a worse place than you... :laugh:

djeki New Member

djeki

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My husband and I kept up that kind of pace for the first year we were together, when we were together--we had a LDR, so when we were together we were usually having sex 2-4x per day. We saw each other every other weekend, as well as a few solid weeks whenever possible (my husband would sometimes arrange to work remotely so he could stay with me). Once we moved in together, we eventually settled in at around 7-10x per week for the next couple years, right up until our son was born. A baby with big sleep issues has slowed us down somewhat, to just 2-4x per week.

 

Now that we've been together 5-6 years, we've discovered that my sex drive is a little higher than my husband's. He is perfectly content with every other day, while my spirit is willing for every day, although right now my flesh is a little weak from sleep deprivation. If we didn't have kids and responsibilities and were getting better sleep, I'd definitely be good for more. 21x a week would be too much at this point, though-- except for special occasions like romantic trips away.

 

I'm 35, he's 40.

 

 

It should be a young man had to look :D

mem11363 Established Member

mem11363

Posted
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TDP,

Right there with you on the testo patch. My optimal frequency is 3/week. I can "perform" daily but it is definitely less fun. I cannot perform more than 3 times in 48 hours and actually would have serious performance anxiety if pressured to.

 

 

 

 

The responses are not at all what I thought they'd be..... On one hand my wife wants me to quit chasing her around and on the other:D;):laugh: I think I need a testosterone patch from these posts.....
ColdFox Established Member

ColdFox

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Sex is wonderful, and in the honeymoon phase I could manage that kind of pace, or close to it. That's not everyday life, though, where people work long hours and have kids.

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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Our last anniversary we went to an Inn with great sentimental connotation for us, with fireplace and spa tub and king-sized bed and spectacular panoramic ocean view--and we had a busy little chaperone with us in our room the whole time :rolleyes:.

 

The joys of parenthood eh? :D

 

We only have one little one to 'contend' with and sadly she's not with us as often as we'd like. So we 'console' ourselves with lots of sex instead. :laugh:.

 

It should be a young man had to look :D

 

Funny you should say that, I always thought things 'slowed down' for both men and women after 40 ..... but we're both 45! My sex drive has never been higher and he has no problem keeping up with me. :laugh:

 

According to my partner, most of the 'over 35' guys he works with are on viagra!!! :eek: We reckon it's level of fitness that makes a difference when you're older. The fitter you are the higher your sex drive and the longer your 'equipment' fully functions? Just a theory based entirely on personal experience -we're not exactly couch potatoes! :D

 

The responses are not at all what I thought they'd be..... On one hand my wife wants me to quit chasing her around and on the other:D;):laugh: I think I need a testosterone patch from these posts.....

 

:laugh: TDP I think you're probably pretty 'normal'. Some of us just have weird hormones! ;):D

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

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Put a man in a harem and he will hit 3 (different) chicks per day for the rest of his life. Other than that, men get weary of the same scent and taste, it's genetic :)

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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According to my partner, most of the 'over 35' guys he works with are on viagra!!! :eek:

 

Needing viagra in the 30s and 40s and sex 21x a week are BOTH uncommon.

 

Most guys your dp works with? Tell him not to drink the water at work! :laugh:

LittleTiger Established Member

LittleTiger

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Needing viagra in the 30s and 40s and sex 21x a week are BOTH uncommon.

 

Most guys your dp works with? Tell him not to drink the water at work! :laugh:

 

:laugh: I think he's probably exaggerating when he says most ..... and I don't think it's catching!

 

At least I hope not!!! :eek::D

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