irc333 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 If I do meet them in person, it seems their heart isn't "in it", it's like their kinda jaded. Or with the people new to online dating, I get the vibe they are SO nervous that they cannot act themselves. I was wondering, is there something about ONLINE dating that gets in the way of things. I mean, if you think about it , it IS a blind date, except you know what they look like...and it is rather "Cold-Turkey-ish", right? As opposed to hanging out with friends, casually get to know each other through a board game..and then somehow winding chitchatting on the side, as if you never even meant for it to happen. It just occured naturally.
kdark Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 If I do meet them in person, it seems their heart isn't "in it", it's like their kinda jaded. Or with the people new to online dating, I get the vibe they are SO nervous that they cannot act themselves. I was wondering, is there something about ONLINE dating that gets in the way of things. I mean, if you think about it , it IS a blind date, except you know what they look like...and it is rather "Cold-Turkey-ish", right? As opposed to hanging out with friends, casually get to know each other through a board game..and then somehow winding chitchatting on the side, as if you never even meant for it to happen. It just occured naturally. I've noticed a difference in the way seasoned veterans of online dating act versus a newb at online dating. The pro seemed to have a list of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors she was checking off, while the newb, who was on the site for a week before quitting, was more into just having fun and was more laid back. And to some extent, that's all dating is is checking off that list of acceptable and unacceptable behavior, but the seasoned vet seemed more mechanical about it. And my observation is extremely anecdotal, so take it with a grain of salt.
Cee Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I was wondering, is there something about ONLINE dating that gets in the way of things. I mean, if you think about it , it IS a blind date, except you know what they look like...and it is rather "Cold-Turkey-ish", right? I have puzzled over these same issues myself. I have a background in psych research so online dating fascinates me as a phenomenon. I've concluded that there is something about the structure of online dating that makes it hard for people to connect. This is just one woman's perspective, but I think there's an element of masturbatory fantasy involved with online dating. Basically, I'm looking at your profile (for example ) and I see your pictures and your text and I'm lured into thinking I know something about you. And sometimes, I've already decided if I'm low or high interest based on my fantasies. And bam, we meet. This is no longer sitting in my bedroom browsing your profile. It's now a "we" thing. And yeah, it's a total blind date. How is someone supposed to act on such a date? Am I supposed to act like I know you and coo and flutter and flirt. Or should I be reserved and pleasant and inadvertently send you the signal that I'm not into you? This blind date system feels creepy to me now and I guess that's why I was one of those jaded type women you dated.
USCGAviator Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I always have a great time when we meet. It's just getting them to get out of the house and meet me in person. Thats tough cause they think your jus playing. So I just login to send silly messages back and forth with no intention of ever meeting anyone crazy talk
carhill Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Well, at my age, with a social circle which is for all intents and purposes *entirely* married, the only way to meet demonstrably single people is through means where they put themselves out as single. I travel a lot and rarely if ever meet a single woman by chance and I meet a *lot* of women. Online dating is one way to meet demonstrably (if not actually) single people. If there's no chemistry in person, then there isn't. No different than any other interaction. You gotta eat anyway If some of the women I meet are 'jaded', then they are. I meet plenty of those IRL every day, both married and single. Sounds about normal. Billions more to meet
curlygirl40 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I've been thinking a lot about online dating recently, and wondering some of the same things. I went out with a girlfriend the other night and ended up at a table with about 8 guys she worked with. Eventually the group dwindled to 4 of us, 2 girls (my friend and I) and 2 guys. Neither one of the guys I would have clicked on their profiles if I saw their pictures online. Sorry, but just being honest. By the end of the night, I would have dated either of them. They were funny and happy guys. One of them was dancing in his chair at one point, and I thought to myself 'now here is a fun guy'. Neither of them very attractive to me in the beginning, but their personalities made them attractive to me before the end of the evening. (Oh, btw ended up that one of them is married and the other in a LTR, oh well) So if I was out on a date with chair dancer, a blind date, would he have been his happy go lucky chair dancing self and showing his sense of humor by playing off of his friend? Probably not. I had a contractor come to my place to give me an estimate. Nice smile but kind of stiff and business-like. Cute but not usually my type (too quiet I thought). Well 2 months later I see him out at a club with his friends dancing and having a good time. Totally attracted to him now. I think I might have to find more things for him to fix. Like my IUD. (ooops, sorry my inappropriate side just came out) Anyway, I think that's one of the flaws of online dating. People are too nervous, not really themselves. You can't really see their fun personality, how they interact and bounce jokes off of their friends, etc., etc. I have been on 6 online dates, only 1 of them I would have dated again (and he wasn't into me, boo!). However I have now met several guys IRL that I would date. I find it a little curious too. I think because when you are going on an online date you don't know the person really at all, so you are looking more for that initial 'spark'. I'm not giving up though.
USCGAviator Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) curly thats what sucks about online dating. I'm attractive annnnnnd when we meet we always have a blast and they always want more time with me. Bad part is getting these women to give you a chance based off text and some ridiculous pictures. I am not photogenic at all lol but I'm a stud in person its weird. The local watering hole is the only place to go meet women and I'm not thrilled about bringing a woman from the bar home. And the grocery store is filled with women in their golden years and disgruntled mothers with 2 screaming children at their legs haha Edited November 13, 2010 by USCGAviator
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