nothappyjan Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Its both of ours first relationship. I am 24 and he is 28 been together 7 months. Lately i feel like im always arguing with him or feeling upset on the inside. I know im quite a sensitive emotional person which probably makes me react more strongly to our issues. He loves his sports so much and its not just one sport its multiple ones so it goes all during the year. He will not make plans on days that sports are on and every sat night is sitting home watching sports and i go to bed by myself as he stays up til all hours and i go crazy with boredom. The other issue is he is super indepenedent and likes his alone time. I am not at all a clingy gf and never ask him to do things but he doesnt want to see me during the week as he reckons hes tired after work and i stay fri night through to sun lunch. I just want to spend quality time together one night a week but never nag him for it. Due to seeing him sunday night this week he asked me to go home sat so he could have alone time as 3 nights in a row was too much, even though it was a one-off situation which hurt my feelings. He also never initiates physical affection and if i cuddle him on the couch he gets annoyed and doesnt show affection in public. He claims that no boys show emotion or like affection and hes just a typical boy. He has introduced me to his family, friends etc and told me he loves me and we do have fun together and share values but sometimes i feel so lonely and dont know what to do to get him to understand that i really am a good gf and he should appreciate me more.
Els Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Let me get this straight... he doesn't want to see you on weekdays, spends all of sat watching sports, and never (I hope for your sake that you're exaggerating) initiates physical affection? Hon, is this your first relationship? I think deep down you already know what you have to do... it'll hurt for a while but I really think you deserve better.
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Its both of ours first relationship. I am 24 and he is 28 been together 7 months. Lately i feel like im always arguing with him or feeling upset on the inside. I know im quite a sensitive emotional person which probably makes me react more strongly to our issues. If he's making you unhappy, then the relationship isn't working. He loves his sports so much and its not just one sport its multiple ones so it goes all during the year. He will not make plans on days that sports are on and every sat night is sitting home watching sports and i go to bed by myself as he stays up til all hours and i go crazy with boredom. Okay, I don't date anyone with such rigid issues----if sports (or anything else) makes you incapable of being around regularly because you're obsessive about it, you aren't good LT material for me----BUT! why are you going crazy with boredom? Can't you amuse yourself. My fellow does other things, and I'm amusing myself this Saturday night, catching up on my DVR and beauty treatments, after a great BBQ with my friends today. I think having your own life is key, even once you are together a long time. My parents still spend some time separately, with their own interests. The other issue is he is super indepenedent and likes his alone time. I am not at all a clingy gf and never ask him to do things but he doesnt want to see me during the week as he reckons hes tired after work and i stay fri night through to sun lunch. I just want to spend quality time together one night a week but never nag him for it. Your request seems reasonable in general to me. And I like my alone time too. Due to seeing him sunday night this week he asked me to go home sat so he could have alone time as 3 nights in a row was too much, even though it was a one-off situation which hurt my feelings. That sounds hurtful, though some of it depends on how it was phrased. I understand why it upset you. He also never initiates physical affection and if i cuddle him on the couch he gets annoyed and doesnt show affection in public. He claims that no boys show emotion or like affection and hes just a typical boy. He has introduced me to his family, friends etc and told me he loves me and we do have fun together and share values but sometimes i feel so lonely and dont know what to do to get him to understand that i really am a good gf and he should appreciate me more. It sounds like you aren't compatible in these areas. Yes, some boys show affection and cuddle. And some guys aren't into that (neither are some gals). If that's something you need and he doesn't like it, it's an issue.
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