colliejoanie Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 So, I was dating a guy, (I over analysized EVERYTHING about us, and I posted it on here) then he showed little interest. Now he's back. We've had wonderful dates again, and now he's all I think about. I've dated others in the interim, but I found myself thinking of him. He's had A LOT of emotional things going on.....found out his ex cheated numerous times during their 4 yr relationship , new job, one of his students commited suicide, mom has cancer.....A LOT. We talk daily. About all that is going on, with both of us. We laugh and make jokes. He picked me up last night unexpectedy for dinner and we had a blast. And we're intimate at least once a week. But today is his birthday. He said he's hanging with his aunt and uncle and "just a few very close friends". Fine. We've sent numerous texts and we talked this morning, but I haven't heard from him since. I'm just wondering why he hasn't asked to see me. And we have no plans until next Saturday. Is he just being a respectable guy, dealing with his stuff, or does he just see me as a booty call?????
Str8noChaser Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Is he just being a respectable guy, dealing with his stuff, or does he just see me as a booty call????? While he seemingly enjoys your company (actual dates & frequent chit chat) you are just a booty call. Are you exclusive?
Jannah Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 What do you take from this???? He's going through a lot right now, so at this juncture, he does not have the emotional capacity to put forth into a relationship. So, if you're cool with daily talks, occasional dinners and sex, with no emotional investment on his side, then it won't be an issue.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I suspect he's just using you for emotional escape. He doesn't particularly care about you but when he's stressed or emotionally bothered by something, he pops up out of nowhere to contact you. I have interacted with people like these. They never talk to you, and at times it seems like they're strangers to you. Then out of nowhere, they initiate contact and start being particularly friendly, asking you how you are and what you've been up to. Worst still, they tend to start talking about themselves almost immediately and starts expecting condolences and understanding from others.
AverageJoe Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Its the guys birthday, c'mon. He just wants to spend it with family and close friends. Relax and stop sweating it.
Jannah Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Did you get that? All different opinions from different posters. I still dont see why people rely on this site for their life decisions. No one should rely on any website to make life decisions, rather introspection and reflection.
atlnay Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) Did you get that? All different opinions from different posters. I still dont see why people rely on this site for their life decisions. No rational adult over the age of 24 should rely on any website for life decision. That said, there is something to be said for insight and perspective. Which everyone is sharing and the OP can reject as too outlandish for their situation or, if it seems to apply, file it away for future reference. Edited November 13, 2010 by atlnay
xpaperxcutx Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 No rational adult over the age of 24 should rely on any website for life decision. That said, there is something to be said for insight and perspective. Which everyone is sharing and the OP can reject as too outlandish for their situation or, if it seems to apply, file it away for future reference. I'm under 24. Does that mean the opposite should apply to me? I like alot of the more reasonable and logical advices given on this site. Some of them are even a lesson in themselves. However, I never asked a question where I specifically asked what it is I should do. I merely ask for opinions on how other view situations. There is a difference.
Author colliejoanie Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Yes, I'm leaning toward Average Joe's response. Not because its the most favorable, but because I'm trying to be realistic. I've pushed relationships in the past and they ended up being horrible relationships, so I really am wanting to do this one right. He did contact me multiple times last night. All very cute, "I miss you's and wish you were heres". Then today he called and asked if he could come down because he had some free time before his meeting this afternoon. He came down and we just sat on the couch and talked for two hours. He's coming back after his meeting for dinner. Again, I just need to be more patient. Thanks to those that posted!
Str8noChaser Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I'm under 24. Does that mean the opposite should apply to me? Not at all! I tend to give a pass to those under 24 due to their limited life experience "in general" So if a 22 year old takes the words of a website way too serious, I would be more forgiving of them then say a 42 year old. But all that was to reply to the poster upthread saying that "people rely on this site for their life decisions". My round about way of saying, I don't think anyone takes advice given on this site that seriously.
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