alex1960 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 For the past several weeks, my wife has been complaining about the janitor at her workplace and how he keeps bugging her. Despite all of her whining, she shared a piece of chocolate with him and even accepted coffee from the guy. Last week, the janitor wrote my wife a letter asking him whether she felt the same way he did. She showed me the letter and seemed totally oblivious as to how she ended up in that situation. Meanwhile, it took her an entire afternoon to respond to him and she was upset for two days. Assuming the janitor is as repulsive as she seems to suggest, I wonder why it took her so long to get over it.
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 For the past several weeks, my wife has been complaining about the janitor at her workplace and how he keeps bugging her. Despite all of her whining, she shared a piece of chocolate with him and even accepted coffee from the guy. Last week, the janitor wrote my wife a letter asking him whether she felt the same way he did. She showed me the letter and seemed totally oblivious as to how she ended up in that situation. Meanwhile, it took her an entire afternoon to respond to him and she was upset for two days. Assuming the janitor is as repulsive as she seems to suggest, I wonder why it took her so long to get over it. Because men coming on to us can be a freaky/upsetting experience when we don't want it to happen (and don't expect it). She probably just accepted the coffee and chocolate not to seem rude. There's nothing for you to worry about, I'd be compassionate to her, she still has to go to work where he is. If I were her, I probably wouldn't want to show my face there again, because I wouldn't want to bump into him. Hopefully her reply, will mean he avoids her, and then she can settle back into her routine.
Author alex1960 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 As the suspicious husband, I wonder how things could've gone that far while my wife keeps complaining about him. If she thought he was so gross, why would she be so kind as to accept to share a piece of chocolate? How cute... I saw the janitor and he is visibly no threat but my wife keeps being stupid and being nice to him. I'm not jealous, I just think she's not very clever.
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 As the suspicious husband, I wonder how things could've gone that far while my wife keeps complaining about him. If she thought he was so gross, why would she be so kind as to accept to share a piece of chocolate? How cute... I saw the janitor and he is visibly no threat but my wife keeps being stupid and being nice to him. I'm not jealous, I just think she's not very clever. Us girls can be stupid when it comes to situations involving men, purely because we don't really understand you or how your minds work. Men can be very convincing when they want to be, and also straight out lie. If a man can say 'It's only a kiss, what's the big deal?' to me, then i imagine it's even easier for him to say 'it's just a piece of chocolate, what's the big deal?' Girls like I was, tend to be suckers and extremely naive when it comes to understanding the motivations of men, and how to deal with them in different situations.
Mad Max Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 For the past several weeks, my wife has been complaining about the janitor at her workplace and how he keeps bugging her. Despite all of her whining, she shared a piece of chocolate with him and even accepted coffee from the guy. Last week, the janitor wrote my wife a letter asking him whether she felt the same way he did. She showed me the letter and seemed totally oblivious as to how she ended up in that situation. Meanwhile, it took her an entire afternoon to respond to him and she was upset for two days. Assuming the janitor is as repulsive as she seems to suggest, I wonder why it took her so long to get over it. Does that sound like someone who's repulsed by another? You need to put your foot down.
Green Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 For the past several weeks, my wife has been complaining about the janitor at her workplace and how he keeps bugging her. Despite all of her whining, she shared a piece of chocolate with him and even accepted coffee from the guy. Last week, the janitor wrote my wife a letter asking him whether she felt the same way he did. She showed me the letter and seemed totally oblivious as to how she ended up in that situation. Meanwhile, it took her an entire afternoon to respond to him and she was upset for two days. Assuming the janitor is as repulsive as she seems to suggest, I wonder why it took her so long to get over it. Look fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me oh heck watch this it will cheer you up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEbZqvMu2cQ&feature=related Also Tell your wife what she needs to do, ignore anything he says to her and yes be rude to him by not accepting pieces of chocolate ect. As the suspicious husband, I wonder how things could've gone that far while my wife keeps complaining about him. If she thought he was so gross, why would she be so kind as to accept to share a piece of chocolate? How cute... I saw the janitor and he is visibly no threat but my wife keeps being stupid and being nice to him. I'm not jealous, I just think she's not very clever. I'd be pissed if my gf was in this situation. Seriously if some girl who liked me wrote me a love not I'd just tell her "I HAVE A GF LEAVE ME A LONE!"
Knittress Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I could easily see this sort of situation happening to me. I don't want to cause 'tension' or 'hostility' by pushing people away - even when they have no right to be imposing themselves on me. The 'gross' clueless types often construe my lack of backbone as romantic interest. Sometimes though, I'll feel empathy for an outsider and genuinely want to be kind to them in a casual/professional setting - this can lead to scary latching-on behavior, however. Then I have to be doubly harsh to the guy and feel like an evil game player just because some clueless dude doesn't GET that I was only being friendly - and I'll feel bad about myself, sometime for days... So - what don't you understand?
EasyHeart Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 So - what don't you understand? Women!!!!!
dreamingoftigers Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I could easily see this sort of situation happening to me. I don't want to cause 'tension' or 'hostility' by pushing people away - even when they have no right to be imposing themselves on me. The 'gross' clueless types often construe my lack of backbone as romantic interest. Sometimes though, I'll feel empathy for an outsider and genuinely want to be kind to them in a casual/professional setting - this can lead to scary latching-on behavior, however. Then I have to be doubly harsh to the guy and feel like an evil game player just because some clueless dude doesn't GET that I was only being friendly - and I'll feel bad about myself, sometime for days... So - what don't you understand? This was totally the case when I was younger. Your wife is very sweet isn't she. The kind the worries about other people's feelings. I would have been very upset to break someone's heart and it would have taken a couple of days to respond. It is going to be awkward for her going back to work for a little bit. Very uncomfortable. This happened to me when I was 18. I never flirted with the guy. Nothing like that at all. He would tell me stories about Fiji and his ex-wife. We worked together for 3 weeks and then when I was cleaning the grill, he actually proposed! I was in total shock (and I had a bf that I had been with for over a year and told him that). He became rather agressive about that, and the job we were in locked us both in at night (security measure) and so I was stuck in there all night trying to somewhat negotiate my way out of that one. Eventually what placated him after explaining that I didn't think it would work out (in about 6 million ways) was that I would ask my mom what she thought (LOL). It worked and got me out of the situation and I never went back to that job and didn't tell the employer what happened.
sally4sara Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I remember a couple of times where some guy I didn't know and found repulsive approached me to make a "kind" gesture. Even when someone is physically unappealing to me does something I perceive to be nice, I try to be nice in return. I don't assume they are making a romantic overture (and this is going to sound conceited) because we are so mismatched that I think they must be aware of that mismatch as much as I am. When it became obvious they were flirting or showing interest, in the past I use to freeze up, not knowing how to handle it and not be seriously rude. Now I just walk away; get rude if they try to follow or try to act out about it. But it took a few times of it happening for it to stop blindsiding me into a stupor. Your wife has to work around this guy; maybe she just doesn't want to start a war or worry about pissing off a psycho that has keys to every room in the building?
carhill Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 What happened to the business colleague she was having out of town dinners with? This seems like a downgrade to me. Meh....
Author alex1960 Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 What happened to the business colleague she was having out of town dinners with? This seems like a downgrade to me. Meh.... He's not in the same town and my wife agreed that she will not see him outside of work anymore. I think my wife is a chronic attention seeker and that janitor issue is could've been avoided had she been firm about it. She's an executive and he's a janitor. It's not like she's stuck with him or anything. If the janitor shared chocolate with my wife, I'd say she was probably too nice to him as she always is.
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