CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 So...... I have found the girl of my dreams. I absolutely LOVE her for everything she is. Everything I see in her, I like. We have been in a relationship for over 4 years and I have NEVER once had trust issues with her or anything like that. Every single problem we have, we are able to work it out in the end. I really think I could be with her for the rest of my life. I know that she would be an amazing wife and mother for my children! She is also smart and driven too! The most important thing is that she really accepts me for who I am and I am never afraid to be myself around her. She never blames me for problems or dwells on mistakes I have made in the past. She is just the type of person that makes me want to be the best person I can be for her. Overall, just the most genuine person I have EVER met in my life. Period! There is only 1 thing wrong with the relationship, however. I am just not physically attracted to her. She is a beautiful girl, but I just do not feel the physical or chemical connection between us at all. When I am with her, we hug and kiss, but I never want to take it further. When we started our relationship, we had sex, but after a month or so, I just didn't find it satisfying! I broke it off with her last year because of this, but we still kept in contact and would visit each other once in a while. Now, I am so confused about what I want with my life. Even more confused about what I want with her. I am almost 27 so I think it's that time in life! I know that if I was with her, I would be the happiest person in the world outside of the bedroom. But, there is just that physical attraction that is missing. Is this physical attraction that important for a successful relationship?? What would you guys do if you were in my position?! Please give me some advice! Thanks
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Please give me some advice! Thanks At the risk of sounding callous, maybe an open relationship/marriage, so you can both have all the advantages of being together, but without all the stress and discontent that is going to build up due to the lack of inspirational sex. Depending on how she feels about sex in general/sex with you, she may go for the idea.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Curious. If she's beautiful and desireable in so many ways, what is it that you'd change to make her get you off?
JungleLover Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Curious. If she's beautiful and desireable in so many ways, what is it that you'd change to make her get you off? Her gender?
TouchedByViolet Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 What about her SPECIFICALLY is not physically attracting? Do you want to have sex with other women?
Feelin Frisky Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Her gender? I didn't want to say. But I also didn't mean it rhetorically. I wonder just what the answer would be.
JungleLover Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 What about her SPECIFICALLY is not physically attracting? Her gender?
Author CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Curious. If she's beautiful and desireable in so many ways, what is it that you'd change to make her get you off? She is a thicker girl. I wouldn't call her fat or anything, but just a little big for my taste.
Author CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 At the risk of sounding callous, maybe an open relationship/marriage, so you can both have all the advantages of being together, but without all the stress and discontent that is going to build up due to the lack of inspirational sex. Depending on how she feels about sex in general/sex with you, she may go for the idea. I don't think she would be okay with that. I wouldn't either. If we were in a relationship, I am sure that both would want it to be exclusive.
JungleLover Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 She is a thicker girl. I wouldn't call her fat or anything, but just a little big for my taste. Go check out the curvy woman thread. I thought that thread was just a BS thread but those guys really got something going on there in that thread. Does your GF fit any of those body types?
musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) For us men, the penis and the heart are often not on the best terms. So if you are unsure if one day your penis is going to do something stupid, then its better if you dont make any commitment yet. Personally, Im the same as you. Most of the times, the kind of girls I feel comfortable emotionally with are the kind whom I dont feel sexual attraction for. I just wanna hug and kiss her and share our time together. From experience though, women (at least young women) care less about sexual relationship but they need the assurance that you are actually attracted to them. Edited November 13, 2010 by musemaj11
sugarmomma Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 When was the last time you had sex with her? When was the last time you had sex with any woman? Are you attracted to men at all? (no offense really) How is her sex drive and why did you break up with her exactly?
Author CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 For us men, the penis and the heart are often not on the best terms. So if you are unsure if one day your penis is going to do something stupid, then its better if you dont make any commitment yet. Personally, Im the same as you. Most of the times, the kind of girls I feel comfortable emotionally with are the kind whom I dont feel sexual attraction for. I just wanna hug and kiss her and share our time together. From experience though, women (at least young women) care less about sexual relationship but they need the assurance that you are actually attracted to them. This is the trouble I am having with this girl. I think anything outside of sex is great, but I just don't want to have sex with her. So, what do you do when you are faced with this situation?!
Author CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Go check out the curvy woman thread. I thought that thread was just a BS thread but those guys really got something going on there in that thread. Does your GF fit any of those body types? No, most of those girls on that thread are not big at all!
Author CBR600RR Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 When was the last time you had sex with her? When was the last time you had sex with any woman? Are you attracted to men at all? (no offense really) How is her sex drive and why did you break up with her exactly? 1. It was a while ago. Probably about a few months. 2. Last week. 3. No I am not gay. For sure!! 4. She always wanted to have sex with me. I broke up because I didn't feel like she was what I wanted sexually.
Sidtheskid Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 For us men, the penis and the heart are often not on the best terms. So if you are unsure if one day your penis is going to do something stupid, then its better if you dont make any commitment yet. Personally, Im the same as you. Most of the times, the kind of girls I feel comfortable emotionally with are the kind whom I dont feel sexual attraction for. I just wanna hug and kiss her and share our time together. From experience though, women (at least young women) care less about sexual relationship but they need the assurance that you are actually attracted to them. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Read your words carefully.
sugarmomma Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Please let her go and find someone that desires her in all ways. You also deserve the same thing- someone that everything you want plus the passion. If you stay with her, in the long term, you'll be doing the both of you a disservice. Take a leap of faith and try to find the 'whole package', friendship, trust and hot sex. Besides, you're sleeping with other women and if you stayed with her you would definitely cheat on her and she deserves better. Good Luck
musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 This is the trouble I am having with this girl. I think anything outside of sex is great, but I just don't want to have sex with her. So, what do you do when you are faced with this situation?! Thankfully Im not the most sexual guy so its not that hard a choice for me. I will take a girl with whom I feel emotional connection over anyone else any day.
omoge Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 So...... Please give me some advice! Thanks I'm in a similar situation. You have 2 options: Committ to her and accept the fact that you will never be sexually satisfied for the rest of your life. Break up with her ASAP so that both of you can find someone you're sexually compatible with. Its funny how its so easy to give advice when you're on the outside looking in. I apparently need to follow my own advice.
musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 It sucks to be a guy. Sometimes I envy women because their vagina follows their heart unlike the penis.
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 So...... I have found the girl of my dreams. I absolutely LOVE her for everything she is. Everything I see in her, I like. We have been in a relationship for over 4 years and I have NEVER once had trust issues with her or anything like that. Every single problem we have, we are able to work it out in the end. I really think I could be with her for the rest of my life. I know that she would be an amazing wife and mother for my children! She is also smart and driven too! The most important thing is that she really accepts me for who I am and I am never afraid to be myself around her. She never blames me for problems or dwells on mistakes I have made in the past. She is just the type of person that makes me want to be the best person I can be for her. Overall, just the most genuine person I have EVER met in my life. Period! There is only 1 thing wrong with the relationship, however. I am just not physically attracted to her. She is a beautiful girl, but I just do not feel the physical or chemical connection between us at all. When I am with her, we hug and kiss, but I never want to take it further. When we started our relationship, we had sex, but after a month or so, I just didn't find it satisfying! I broke it off with her last year because of this, but we still kept in contact and would visit each other once in a while. Now, I am so confused about what I want with my life. Even more confused about what I want with her. I am almost 27 so I think it's that time in life! I know that if I was with her, I would be the happiest person in the world outside of the bedroom. But, there is just that physical attraction that is missing. Is this physical attraction that important for a successful relationship?? What would you guys do if you were in my position?! Please give me some advice! Thanks Yes, sex is important for a romantic relationship. The degree varies with time and people, but if you don't desire sex with someone, you shouldn't marry them------that's just a set-up for disappointment.
daphne Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 It doesn't sound like you're ok with a sexless relationship. My ex settled for that and he's pretty miserable. He loves his wife, but he probably cheats on her at this point. She doesn't like sex. Sex is one of the top 3 ingredients, in my book. Unless I suddenly discovered an underdeveloped libido, I wouldn't want to be with someone who I didn't want to have sex with on a regular basis. I left one guy for that. I need the connection. And sex.
aerogurl87 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I'd just move on if I were you. I love my boyfriend, but if the sex sucked I honestly couldn't stay with him. Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it is pretty damn high on my priority list for a long term partner.
Knittress Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Yes. Yes, it is. This is one of those issues that you can push aside for a while, but then it's liable to fester and explode at some later point. Better to face reality than let resentment slowly destroy all traces of the connection you feel. That's honestly the most loving thing to do.
Mellisa Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 So...... I have found the girl of my dreams. I absolutely LOVE her for everything she is. Everything I see in her, I like. We have been in a relationship for over 4 years and I have NEVER once had trust issues with her or anything like that. Every single problem we have, we are able to work it out in the end. I really think I could be with her for the rest of my life. I know that she would be an amazing wife and mother for my children! She is also smart and driven too! The most important thing is that she really accepts me for who I am and I am never afraid to be myself around her. She never blames me for problems or dwells on mistakes I have made in the past. She is just the type of person that makes me want to be the best person I can be for her. Overall, just the most genuine person I have EVER met in my life. Period! There is only 1 thing wrong with the relationship, however. I am just not physically attracted to her. She is a beautiful girl, but I just do not feel the physical or chemical connection between us at all. When I am with her, we hug and kiss, but I never want to take it further. When we started our relationship, we had sex, but after a month or so, I just didn't find it satisfying! I broke it off with her last year because of this, but we still kept in contact and would visit each other once in a while. Now, I am so confused about what I want with my life. Even more confused about what I want with her. I am almost 27 so I think it's that time in life! I know that if I was with her, I would be the happiest person in the world outside of the bedroom. But, there is just that physical attraction that is missing. Is this physical attraction that important for a successful relationship?? What would you guys do if you were in my position?! Please give me some advice! Thanks You sure it's something that cant be worked? She sounds a great person.I think you should be willing to work things out in the bedroom with her.Tell her what your expecations are,what you want her to do,let her know how can she better satisfy you sextually.There are a lot of ways to improve sex!
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