greenwood Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I have recently became exclusive with my bf. We both have our lives and are very busy adults, so none of us pays huge attention to this particular social networking site. Despite knowing him for about a year now, I have just recently checked him, and to my surprise, yes, he was there. Don't get me wrong, we have had a wonderful relationship so far, it's just that we have never talked about this site. I used to try to find him once but his name is very regular, and I don't have many contacts myself, so just made the effort not so long ago, out of fun, hoping to maybe find some of his relatives or anything. Anyway, surprisingly I found him there, and before even adding him as a friend, truly excited about the situation, I started looking at his albums, and I could see that about a month ago, he added some pictures with him and his ex! (we were already exclusive at the time, and the exclusivity thing, althought I wanted it too, was initiated by him...) I was SURPRISED! Couldn't believe my eyes. The ex obviously started commenting immediately, and they had a nice flirt. So my question is, why would he do this? So far I have absolutely believed him and trusted him, he treats me with respect and has proved his feelings for me in many different ways, especially in the last few weeks. My gut feeling is telling me he is honest and is not a player, however, I just don't get why would he do this? Could he still love her and date me just like that? His account was pretty much eventless before this, for months! Please guys share your ideas and experiences, I am very curious! Can he actually be such a player?? Or maybe he is trying to make me jealous? I have noticed recently that he IS trying to make me jealous actually, but that is another story. Am I overreacting? I know it's just a stupid network site, still, I don't get it, why would he do that?? I would never go through old pics of me and my ex and post them, even if I wanted to do sg like this, I wouldn't, out of respect for my partner.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 He wants to keep banging the ex? He's dating the ex/interested in dating the ex back again.
Author greenwood Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 He wants to keep banging the ex? Does it look that bad?? I cannot evaluate this situation rationally at the moment. Oh well, I don't know what would be worse, either this, or he still loves her. We have a pretty awesome sex life, I believe, but more importantly, the ex lives in another city (not that far, but he would have to fly to see her), so it is not something he could easily do.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Does it look that bad?? I cannot evaluate this situation rationally at the moment. Oh well, I don't know what would be worse, either this, or he still loves her. We have a pretty awesome sex life, I believe, but more importantly, the ex lives in another city (not that far, but he would have to fly to see her), so it is not something he could easily do. Honey, it makes no sense for a man - or a woman - to upload the pictures of his ex girlfriend. What for? Does she want the pictures, is that it? You know, there's a much easier way to deliver the pictures: email! I'm sure he's going to use that excuse. My guess is that the ex is visiting is facebook(somehow he found out) to see if he's dating someone. Maybe she wanted to see how your BF was doing but wasn't 100% into dating him again. But maybe.. when she saw those pictures of them together.... Maybe Sting's song "Brand New Day" ringed a bell.
Author greenwood Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Honey, it makes no sense for a man - or a woman - to upload the pictures of his ex girlfriend. What for? Does she want the pictures, is that it? You know, there's a much easier way to deliver the pictures: email! I'm sure he's going to use that excuse. My guess is that the ex is visiting is facebook(somehow he found out) to see if he's dating someone. Maybe she wanted to see how your BF was doing but wasn't 100% into dating him again. But maybe.. when she saw those pictures of them together.... Maybe Sting's song "Brand New Day" ringed a bell. The ex has been added for over a year, from the time when they used to be together, coming to his account occasionally ever since. Not a problem for me, I am as well in contact with an ex sometimes on FB. I am more curious about would men do this out of nostalgia, or "friendly" feelings, something like that. I just don't (didn't) think grown adults do sg like this. Teenagers maybe. So that's why I am curious, maybe there is another explanation. But I see your point, and I do realize that I am pretty effed up.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) The ex has been added for over a year, from the time when they used to be together, coming to his account occasionally ever since. Not a problem for me, I am as well in contact with an ex sometimes on FB. I am more curious about would men do this out of nostalgia, or "friendly" feelings, something like that. I just don't (didn't) think grown adults do sg like this. Teenagers maybe. So that's why I am curious, maybe there is another explanation. But I see your point, and I do realize that I am pretty effed up. I can't speak for every other woman, but I don't hang on to a man's memories, not unless I want something to do with him again. I see this as a lack of respect to you and to his ex girlfriend. Does she know about you? I'd slowly remove my emotional investement on this guy. Don't know if he's good looking, but girl, that's a boy you have there and you want a man. Edited November 13, 2010 by Akherousia
Cee Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Just a funny story related to ex photos on Facebook. I posted some pics of my long ago ex from a visit (platonic). I posted the pics on FB to share with him. One of the photos was a picture of us from 1997. I took a photograph of the picture because we couldn't scan it. I was touched that he kept the framed photograph for 13 years. He kept it in the bottom of a drawer all these years. Anyway, his pretty, young FWB (who he told me all about) comments on the photo. "OMG!!! What an adorable photo. Why didn't you ever show it to me? I love it." :rolleyes: I had to laugh at how Facebook creates some bizarre intersections.
AverageJoe Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 If this is unacceptable to you. Leave. Thats right, dont compromise yourself, just leave, get out. This is your fault for putting up with it. You either compromise and settle for what you got, yes settle, or get out and find someone that is more compatible. But you wont I know. So many people are so desperate to be in a relationship they will compromise to any crazy situation just to keep the relationship going.
Author greenwood Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 If this is unacceptable to you. Leave. Thats right, dont compromise yourself, just leave, get out. This is your fault for putting up with it. You either compromise and settle for what you got, yes settle, or get out and find someone that is more compatible. But you wont I know. So many people are so desperate to be in a relationship they will compromise to any crazy situation just to keep the relationship going. Like I said, I know this is a big red flag. However, he has been a pretty amazing bf so far, in every possible way. Well maybe I should just play it cool, add him now and see how he reacts. Also, he has been trying to make me very jealous lately. It is very silly, and even funny. So I am just trying to find out could there be any other reason for him doing it. Something like Cee's post above. But it seems everybody here thinks the situation is pretty obvious.
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