AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yes women want "the one" but too many times traits like status height and other trivial things are placed on as high a level as character.. What good is the tall dark handsome guy with a good career if hes a scumbag who will disappear as soon as he drops his seed inside of you.. Ive seen plenty of women think this guys "the one" because of the lust factor and what he brought status wise then were shocked when the guy ran off when most people could see this coming from a mile away.. Women may be overly picky but allot of times its about the frvilious things..
lululucy Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I for one don't believe in The One but I think I'm jaded. Not that I don't believe in love or whatever, I just don't think love lasts and that's okay -- it just means you'll get a couple Ones in your life.
lululucy Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yes women want "the one" but too many times traits like status height and other trivial things are placed on as high a level as character.. What good is the tall dark handsome guy with a good career if hes a scumbag who will disappear as soon as he drops his seed inside of you.. Ive seen plenty of women think this guys "the one" because of the lust factor and what he brought status wise then were shocked when the guy ran off when most people could see this coming from a mile away.. Women may be overly picky but allot of times its about the frvilious things.. I'm just curious, would you date a woman who was not beautiful?
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I'm just curious, would you date a woman who was not beautiful? Very few people are "beautiful" ill take cute enough for me
dreamingoftigers Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yes women want "the one" but too many times traits like status height and other trivial things are placed on as high a level as character.. What good is the tall dark handsome guy with a good career if hes a scumbag who will disappear as soon as he drops his seed inside of you.. Ive seen plenty of women think this guys "the one" because of the lust factor and what he brought status wise then were shocked when the guy ran off when most people could see this coming from a mile away.. Women may be overly picky but allot of times its about the frvilious things.. I think it has to do with being shallow, not being female. This is often what I think of when it comes to the male gender. No offense.
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I think it has to do with being shallow, not being female. This is often what I think of when it comes to the male gender. No offense. Well you dont try to pick up women so you wouldnt know but most women are shallow as well
Mad Max Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Well you dont try to pick up women so you wouldnt know but most women are shallow as well Women are equally as shallow as men, perhaps even more so.
You'reasian Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Another specialist of female behavior, I take it? Why are men so concerned about their hair? Why are men so concerned about getting sex? isn't an emotional connection more to enough to fulfill your need to feel like you're giving sometihng to the world? So you now have women in their 30's going after you and you, as the great social scientist that you are, concluded that women are throwing away our best years and then we settle for average guys? OK, I'm going to stop with my behavior. I'm going to stop having fun with guys I find attractive because I have to make some guy happy. Is that it? I don't look for Prince Charming. I look for a good looking man to have some fun with. I am not interested in getting married and I'm not looking for Prince charming with all the wonderful qualities of St. Peter and the wallet of Bill Gates and the body of Cristiano Ronaldo and the badass face of Christian Bale. I look for someone capable of making me interested in sleeping with him/her. Understood? Your honesty is well received. Some women say one thing, then do the other in dating. Sounds like you're a no BS kind of woman. Kudos!
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Women are equally as shallow as men, perhaps even more so. I agree i never got the women arent that into looks or visual thing womens whoe life is judging beauty Ive heard some awfuly harsh things said about guys women thought were unattratcive,the idea women are these innocent little angels who dont judge people is laughable
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Well you dont try to pick up women so you wouldnt know but most women are shallow as well You've been trying to get with most women? I don't see how you can assume most women to be shallow when you don't have the experience to differenciate a shallow woman from a woman with options aka preferences. Most women aren't shallow. Most women have preferences. Some like dark, some like light. Many like tall, but do all need tall? No. How about trying to know the woman you're interested in instead of trowing bitterness around?
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Most women aren't shallow. Most women have preferences. Some like dark, some like light. Many like tall, but do all need tall? No. How about trying to know the woman you're interested in instead of trowing bitterness around? Im not really around single women at all so the points moot
that girl Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 The real difference is men are more willing to stay in a relationship that they know isn't going to last. Thats exactly my point. Men are more realistic. They know that their dream woman doesnt exist and just go with the flow instead of obsessing over finding that dream woman who is perfect in every way. That wasn't what I was saying at all. Stung got my point men who stay in relationships that aren't working because of inertia. Most adults women, even when they know there is no such thing as a perfect shining soulmate, do want to settle down with and possibly marry someone they love, they want the commitment and security and whatever romance they can find along with it. There are a lot of stories of men who know they don't love the woman they're with and don't ever want to marry her, but who stay with her for years because they're A) lazy B) she's good enough 'for now' C) they're afraid of the unknown D)???. That's less realism, more willingness to lead somebody on and waste their time, and it's actually rather cruel. Better to cut the girl loose and let her find someone else, if those dynamics are in play. Yes women want "the one" but too many times traits like status height and other trivial things are placed on as high a level as character.. There are at least three threads on here where men describe the type of women they are attracted to and rate photos of women. Why is it okay for men to care about looks but women are only supposed to care about charecter? We care about what you look like. It is a biological drive to want to find someone who you consider attractive for both genders.
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 That wasn't what I was saying at all. Stung got my point There are at least three threads on here where men describe the type of women they are attracted to and rate photos of women. Why is it okay for men to care about looks but women are only supposed to care about charecter? We care about what you look like. It is a biological drive to want to find someone who you consider attractive for both genders. I never said you shouldnt care about loosk i said when its the most important thing and you overlook things like character because someone is realy good looking then dont be surrpsied at the results
Jannah Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 There are at least three threads on here where men describe the type of women they are attracted to and rate photos of women. Ironic, isn't it. There is a hidden danger in being obsessed with finding “the perfect person” or "the one" and that it opens the door to people who are willing to deceive you into thinking that they are “perfect.” People should be looking for a good heart at the core, the rest is just fluff.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 That wasn't what I was saying at all. Stung got my point There are at least three threads on here where men describe the type of women they are attracted to and rate photos of women. Why is it okay for men to care about looks but women are only supposed to care about charecter? We care about what you look like. It is a biological drive to want to find someone who you consider attractive for both genders. Because they assume we'll date them if we don't have requirements. God forbid I won't date the guy who is crying about how height is trivial. Yes, and a woman's face is trivial, right? Why aren't you lusting after every woman? A woman's body type is also trival stuff, correct? You guys can want women with big behinds or great breasts but excuse me for enjoying a man with good body mass. I'm just shallow like that. I'm shallow because I enjoy a good looking man and that, to these guys is shallow. AD1980, Then how do you know how most women are if you don't interact with women? How do you know a woman(I'm not talking about Angelina Jolie) is not attracted to you? When you don't actually spend time with women? Do I assume all doctors to look like those Grey's anatomy hunks? No. So?
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Then how do you know how most women are if you don't interact with women? How do you know a woman(I'm not talking about Angelina Jolie) is not attracted to you? When you don't actually spend time with women? Do I assume all doctors to look like those Grey's anatomy hunks? No. So? Because anytime ive been around single women none have showed slight interest in me instead showing interest in others around me You can tell when your at least somewhat attratcive to women in general or not
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Because anytime ive been around single women none have showed slight interest in me instead showing interest in others around me You can tell when your at least somewhat attratcive to women in general or not I have an idea. Speak to the woman? Show you have something interesting to say? And maybe not aiming too high? go for women more or less in your league?
Jannah Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Because anytime ive been around single women none have showed slight interest in me instead showing interest in others around me You can tell when your at least somewhat attratcive to women in general or not So do something and start talking to a woman, try to make a connection versus sitting in the corner pouting...
AD1980 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 And maybe not aiming too high? go for women more or less in your league? How do you know if a women is "in your league" stuff can be so subjective,therye might be ugly girls who think im ugly and cute girls who think im decent who knows Your league is who says yes
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Oh please! Way more of the guys I've dated had their eyes on marriage and babies than I ever did! And the more I wasn't all about it - they more they felt I was The One! I've met a few of these. Umm well from my experience I didn't actually start looking for someone who was marriage material until I got all my wildness out of me after high school. And during that period of time lots of guys I just wanted to date for fun were looking for something serious when I wasn't. So it's not always about gender, usually it's about a person's goals and what they hold dear in life that determines what they will pine for more. This is a good point. I for one don't believe in The One but I think I'm jaded. Not that I don't believe in love or whatever, I just don't think love lasts and that's okay -- it just means you'll get a couple Ones in your life. My variation of this is that life is about change, I don't believe romantic love generally last, but there's no reason why unconditional love couldn't. Of course to love someone unconditionally means that you let them go when they feel it's time to go. It also doesn't mean pining away for them when they are gone. And so I agree about meeting more than 1 'the One' in life.
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 You are right, but women's idea of a dream man is far far more idealized and romanticized than the other way around. Usually the idea of a dream woman for a man is much more basic and general like she is beautiful and nice. And I've met men with super-detailed fantasies of who they'll marry (for a fictional version of this type of fellow, look at Ted from How I Met Your Mother) and women who just want a fellow who's smart, kind, funny, and attractive. All pretty reasonable things to want, no matter your gender. I actually know more pragmatic women -- who just want to find someone they sincerely mesh with and want to spend a long swath of their life with -- than men. But I know plenty of pragmatic men as well. Romantics come in both genders. I'm not terribly romantic about such things (my boyfriend is much more so, incidentally) but I think a little bit of romance is nice at any rate, though too much gets in your way. Even marriage. There is nothing for a man to gain from it. Being umarriage affords me financial gain, happiness, letting laid when I feel like it, travel, late night ball games, I dont have to answer to anyone. I do enough of that at work, why would I need to come home to that? I can do what i want, with who I want, as much as I want, wherever I want. Its fantabulous! So we do agree on that. No reason for a relationship. There is no reason or gain for you. Or some other men. Or some women. Many men find all sorts of gain in happy marriages---financial (men don't always make the most money), beloved children, a lover and friend to share their day-to-day with, and they derive happiness from their relationships with their wives. I'm not saying it's for everyone-----it's absolutely not------but I think it's silly when fellas act like only women want to get married. I've dated more men who've wanted to marry me (or, frankly, just marry someone, in some cases) than I've wanted to marry. Healthy marriages provide benefit for both partners, and, to come back to the original question, they aren't derived from myths like The One or Soulmates; they're made up of good judgment, happy work (yes, they are work, but I don't know why we make "work" into such a dreadful word----so much of the work of my life is honestly enjoyable, as is the work I do on my relationship), love, communication, and compatibility.
AverageJoe Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 There is no reason or gain for you. Or some other men. Or some women. Many men find all sorts of gain in happy marriages---financial (men don't always make the most money), beloved children, a lover and friend to share their day-to-day with, and they derive happiness from their relationships with their wives. Any man really, if he so chooses. You can experience all of that and more without having to marry.
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Any man really, if he so chooses. You can experience all of that and more without having to marry. In some ways you can. And I know some men AND women who are against the paper. The paper is mainly a legal agreement, which makes sense when you make choices jointly -- sacrificing personal earning power, raising children together, joining funds for things like housing -- and I've no particular attachment to it, except under those circumstances, personally. I think it can come along with a lifelong relationship naturally (and I personally wouldn't join finances or have children without it, or make any career sacrifices, which most long-term relationships will require eventually), but I wasn't really talking about the paper. Though I do disagree---many men gain all kinds of things from the paper, just as many women do. That's got just about nothing to do with gender.
Tayla Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 On topic: Cant make or speak for any other person be they male or female. If its an observation based on current lifestyles and societies then I do not see the trend that genders are being raised in fairy tale guidelines....thus creating the *mythical* "The One" concept. Yes monogomy is alive and well.. Nope "soul mates" and "The one" only exist on paper not in reality.... Totally on a side note....Loved the reference to the Matrix !!! Still waiting for the poster to make the scientific news that they can now artificially produce sperm in a lab!!! Ohh wait she did announce, just never gave us the link to this ! Maybe because like the "ONE", it doesn't exist.
Akherousia Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 (edited) On topic: Cant make or speak for any other person be they male or female. If its an observation based on current lifestyles and societies then I do not see the trend that genders are being raised in fairy tale guidelines....thus creating the *mythical* "The One" concept. Yes monogomy is alive and well.. Nope "soul mates" and "The one" only exist on paper not in reality.... Totally on a side note....Loved the reference to the Matrix !!! Still waiting for the poster to make the scientific news that they can now artificially produce sperm in a lab!!! Ohh wait she did announce, just never gave us the link to this ! Maybe because like the "ONE", it doesn't exist. Ethical storm flares as British scientists create artificial sperm from human stem cells Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1198132/Ethical-storm-flares-British-scientists-create-artificial-sperm-human-stem-cells.html#ixzz15DNjbu00 Genetic engineering can do anything, my dear. Science is developing(I've heard they've already done so) artificial wombs. It will be an amazing day the day we're free of having to reproduce and raise a child as the state will be doing it. Oops. What was I saying? Men redundant? Now we don't need women either Scientists have developed an artificial womb that allows embryos to grow outside the body http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/feb/10/medicalscience.research Edited November 14, 2010 by Akherousia
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