musemaj11 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 (edited) Probably since they were 11 year old little girls until they hit around 35 years old and become more realistic in their outlook, young females seem to be very preoccupied with the idea that they are in this world waiting for their 'Prince Charming' to find her or they are in this world for the sole purpose of searching for 'True Love'. Edited November 12, 2010 by musemaj11
Content Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I do think women sometimes get some dream man that doesnt exist in their head from movies they watch or fariytales as a kid You gotta grow up and realize that doesnt exist
quankanne Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 why are men so obsessed with the perfect body? Same reason: Both males and females were fed a tale and they bought into it. "no one but The One will every Love me properly" "the only woman worth having is one who is smoking hot ... fat chicks need not apply"
Akherousia Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Probably since they were 11 year old little girls until they hit around 35 years old and become more realistic in their outlook, young females seem to be very preoccupied with the idea that they are in this world waiting for their 'Prince Charming' to find her or they are in this world for the sole purpose of searching for 'True Love'. Another specialist of female behavior, I take it? Why are men so concerned about their hair? Why are men so concerned about getting sex? isn't an emotional connection more to enough to fulfill your need to feel like you're giving sometihng to the world? So you now have women in their 30's going after you and you, as the great social scientist that you are, concluded that women are trowing away our best years and then we settle for average guys? OK, I'm going to stop with my behavior. I'm going to stop having fun with guys I find attractive because I have to make some guy happy. Is that it? I don't look for Prince Charming. I look for a good looking man to have some fun with. I am not interested in getting married and I'm not looking for Prince charming with all the wonderful qualities of St. Peter and the wallet of Bill Gates and the body of Cristiano Ronaldo and the badass face of Christian Bale. I look for someone capable of making me interested in sleeping with him/her. Understood?
Mad Max Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Life is not a fairy tale. I learned at an early age that the things we read in fairy tales are not reality. Sadly, many men and women assume that Prince Charming and Adrianna Lima with a PHD are reality. They're not.
that girl Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Oh please. They've done a bunch of studies and it turns out that men are actually more enamored with the idea of finding a perfect for them person to marry. The real difference is men are more willing to stay in a relationship that they know isn't going to last.
Author musemaj11 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 The real difference is men are more willing to stay in a relationship that they know isn't going to last. Thats exactly my point. Men are more realistic. They know that their dream woman doesnt exist and just go with the flow instead of obsessing over finding that dream woman who is perfect in every way. The issue here is not about having a dream, its about obsessing over a dream. Life is not a fairy tale. I learned at an early age that the things we read in fairy tales are not reality. Sadly, many men and women assume that Prince Charming and Adrianna Lima with a PHD are reality. They're not. I think fairytales that kids hear can mess up their outlook of lives when they are older.
Ross PK Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Probably since they were 11 year old little girls until they hit around 35 years old and become more realistic in their outlook, young females seem to be very preoccupied with the idea that they are in this world waiting for their 'Prince Charming' to find her or they are in this world for the sole purpose of searching for 'True Love'. Seems more like they're mainly preoccupied with alpha males.
Stung Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Thats exactly my point. Men are more realistic. They know that their dream woman doesnt exist and just go with the flow instead of obsessing over finding that dream woman who is perfect in every way. The issue here is not about having a dream, its about obsessing over a dream. I think fairytales that kids hear can mess up their outlook of lives when they are older. I think that you missed her point, actually, referencing men who stay in relationships that aren't working because of inertia. Most adults women, even when they know there is no such thing as a perfect shining soulmate, do want to settle down with and possibly marry someone they love, they want the commitment and security and whatever romance they can find along with it. There are a lot of stories of men who know they don't love the woman they're with and don't ever want to marry her, but who stay with her for years because they're A) lazy B) she's good enough 'for now' C) they're afraid of the unknown D)???. That's less realism, more willingness to lead somebody on and waste their time, and it's actually rather cruel. Better to cut the girl loose and let her find someone else, if those dynamics are in play. I knew some girls and even a few boys who believed in The One, but in my own experience most people had started to grow out of that thinking by the time high school was over, or at least college. All part of the angsty passages of youth--sometimes the realization was quite painful. I definitely agree that modern fairytale endings can warp a child's expectations of life. I try to present my own children with a careful balance of stories/media, I don't want them absorbing too many Hollywood gender roles.
Author musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) I think that you missed her point, actually, referencing men who stay in relationships that aren't working because of inertia. Most adults women, even when they know there is no such thing as a perfect shining soulmate, do want to settle down with and possibly marry someone they love, they want the commitment and security and whatever romance they can find along with it. There are a lot of stories of men who know they don't love the woman they're with and don't ever want to marry her, but who stay with her for years because they're A) lazy B) she's good enough 'for now' C) they're afraid of the unknown D)???. That's less realism, more willingness to lead somebody on and waste their time, and it's actually rather cruel. Better to cut the girl loose and let her find someone else, if those dynamics are in play. You are right, but women's idea of a dream man is far far more idealized and romanticized than the other way around. Usually the idea of a dream woman for a man is much more basic and general like she is beautiful and nice. I knew some girls and even a few boys who believed in The One, but in my own experience most people had started to grow out of that thinking by the time high school was over, or at least college. All part of the angsty passages of youth--sometimes the realization was quite painful. I think it takes much longer for females to snap out of it than males though. I believe the reason is due to upbringing and that parents tend to be more protective of daughters and 'unleash' them into the real world later than their sons. True that both young males and females are as invested in fantasy however. I definitely agree that modern fairytale endings can warp a child's expectations of life. I try to present my own children with a careful balance of stories/media, I don't want them absorbing too many Hollywood gender roles. When I have kids Im gonna make them watch Jerry Springer instead of Nickelodeon. :laugh: Edited November 13, 2010 by musemaj11
bac Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) Probably since they were 11 year old little girls until they hit around 35 years old and become more realistic in their outlook, young females seem to be very preoccupied with the idea that they are in this world waiting for their 'Prince Charming' to find her or they are in this world for the sole purpose of searching for 'True Love'. What do you think the real purpose of being females in this world? Edited November 13, 2010 by bac
Els Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 'The One' is not a literal - it's a headspace. I've been with 3 guys, and each of them I believe/d was 'The One'. If I didn't feel or believe that at the time, I wouldn't have been with them. Yes, after the honeymoon phase I got to know their flaws and incompatibilities, which is completely normal and led to make or break time, but at the time I decided to get together with them, they were each indeed my dream guy.
Disillusioned Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 There's a big difference between having a laundry list and being downright tunnel-visioned.
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Probably since they were 11 year old little girls until they hit around 35 years old and become more realistic in their outlook, young females seem to be very preoccupied with the idea that they are in this world waiting for their 'Prince Charming' to find her or they are in this world for the sole purpose of searching for 'True Love'. You know humans learn more and their brains are developing fastest during the first 5 years of life. Exposure to all the fairytales is happening fullforce during that time, and they are learning from their parents, so if either or both of their parents are still carrying the 'one true love' programming, that is also being passed on before the age of 5. It's often hard for people to change any programming they are carrying, but i would suggest that programming before the age of 5 is so hardwired into us by adulthood, that it is virtually impossible to completely let go of it. It is interesting you chose to say around 35 it starts to change. By 35 a human has another 30yrs worth of experiences, and if the bulk of those experiences were not congruent with the fantasy, (and the biological clock is ticking), then it is understandable that a person might just decide the fairytale thing is crap and make different choices. IMO the programming may still be present, but the individual is choosing to rebel against that programming whenever it springs forth, which is not the same thing, as actually letting it go.
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Because they want to save Zion from the Matrix? lol so funny:lmao:
Author musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Yes Tatiana, childhood programming dies hard. Its unbelievable how many little minds Snow White and Cinderella have messed up over the course of decades. And whats worst is that kids cartoons often depict grossly different roles for female and male characters. For the female characters they teach little girls to be innocent, weak, passive, and dependent like Cinderella or Snow White. On the other hand, for the male characters, they teach little boys to be adventurous, independent, strong, brave and active like Peter Pan, Sinbad, or Aladdin. Personally I find that Mulan is the only cartoon that parents should let their little daughters watch.
Titania22 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yes Tatiana, childhood programming dies hard. Its unbelievable how many little minds Snow White and Cinderella have messed up over the course of decades. And whats worst is that kids cartoons often depict grossly different roles for female and male characters. For the female characters they teach little girls to be innocent, weak, passive, and dependent like Cinderella or Snow White. On the other hand, for the male characters, they teach little boys to be adventurous, independent, strong, brave and active like Peter Pan, Sinbad, or Aladdin. Personally I find that Mulan is the only cartoon that parents should let their little daughters watch. Actually when my daughter was a baby, I used to watch sailor moon with her (fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight), we also watched lots of Xena (strong women living their lives and not taking any crap), Destiny's Child had their whole Independent Woman, Survivor phase, and the spice girls girls (girl power) peaked before she was 5. I guess it balanced out with having an incurable romantic for a mother.
Author musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Actually when my daughter was a baby, I used to watch sailor moon with her (fighting evil by moonlight and winning love by daylight), we also watched lots of Xena (strong women living their lives and not taking any crap), Destiny's Child had their whole Independent Woman, Survivor phase, and the spice girls girls (girl power) peaked before she was 5. I guess it balanced out with having an incurable romantic for a mother. Lol, I think Xena is far too violent for a baby girl to watch. :laugh:
Ruby Slippers Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 A woman carries a life for nine months and then gives birth to a being utterly dependent on her for survival. Women bear the brunt of responsibility for making smart mating choices, so of course we are choosier. Because whether we choose poorly or well, we have to deal with the consequences of our choices for much longer than a man has to deal with his own.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 A woman carries a life for nine months and then gives birth to a being utterly dependent on her for survival. Women bear the brunt of responsibility for making smart mating choices, so of course we are choosier. Because whether we choose poorly or well, we have to deal with the consequences of our choices for much longer than a man has to deal with his own. But somehow we are bitches and skanks for having requirements and putting expectations on the males and God forbid we go for a guy we find attractive.
AverageJoe Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 But somehow we are bitches and skanks for having requirements and putting expectations on the males and God forbid we go for a guy we find attractive. Go for anyone you like. But somehow through all of that, you need us, must have us. Even our sperm. Some say without it you are empty, even lifeless and hollow.
Author musemaj11 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 A woman carries a life for nine months and then gives birth to a being utterly dependent on her for survival. Women bear the brunt of responsibility for making smart mating choices, so of course we are choosier. Because whether we choose poorly or well, we have to deal with the consequences of our choices for much longer than a man has to deal with his own. Yes, yes I understand this. Having requirements is good for both men and women. But just because you are in a relationship, doesnt mean you are going to get pregnant. This is not 1886.
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Go for anyone you like. But somehow through all of that, you need us, must have us. Even our sperm. Some say without it you are empty, even lifeless and hollow. Sperm has been artificially created. Plus there are tons of sperm donors. Sperm banks. I don't need a man. I have a job. I have my own house paid for and I have my girlfriends for company. I enjoy sex. That's quite easy to get. What do I need a husband/boyfriend for? What do you have to offer?
Seamless74 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 AKHEROUSIA from the last couple posts or yours ive read I dont think any member of the male species would be upset in the least if we were no longer necessary for you.. and its probably best if you dont procreate.. psycho maybe???....
Ruby Slippers Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yes, yes I understand this. Having requirements is good for both men and women. But just because you are in a relationship, doesnt mean you are going to get pregnant. This is not 1886. Yes, but if you are having sex, you can get pregnant, and if you are the woman, this is probably of much greater concern to you.
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