Should I try one more time or delete his number?

[OceanGirl]

Geez! People are brutal, eh?

 

Keep your head up. DONT CALL!!!!

 

That's all that's important. Do not call him.

 

Yeah, I felt pretty accepting of my situation, until I read some of the nasty comments.

 

I am sick of people going "you are crazy" etc etc without even paying any attention to the details of my post.

 

Also people like Cracker_Jack write things like "you feel a connection with every second guy". This couldn't be further from the truth. One of my HUGE problems is that I have trouble connecting to anyone. IF anything, people that I know in real life all think that I am way too picky. Sigh.

[Cracker Jack]

People like me?

 

I've done nothing but try to give helpful advice in your various topics revolving around dating. And what you're deciding to pick out of my entire post is semantics, anyway. Let's put it this way: whenever you see the chance of "sparks" being there, you get ahead of yourself and over-analyze every aspect of the situation to the point where you consider a guy not responding in a window of 24 hrs rejection. That's ridiculous.

 

After a while it should become apparent that everyone else isn't the problem. It's really that simple. If you want to label that as a "nasty comment", then that's fine, too.

[OceanGirl]

It's been closer to 48 hours now and he has been online multiple times.

 

I pretty sure that any girl would read this as a big sign of non-interest.

[sugarmomma]

I wouldn't. You just have what I like to call the 'paralysis of analysis'. You are over thinking this thing and a lot of men will deliberately NOT call just to see if you are too eager or "crazy".

 

Relax. Go out with your girls. Keep the focus on you and what makes you happy.

 

Stay off OKC for a while so you won't obsess.

[Star Gazer]

DID YOU RESPOND to his post-date text?

 

I'll repeat my question for the third time.

[OceanGirl]

meh I am over it, another OKC dud.

[OceanGirl]

So he replied

 

Hey OG,

 

Sorry it took me so long getting back to you.

 

I really enjoyed meeting you too. I had fun and I think you're really sweet (and hot and smart and sexy).

 

I hope the exam marking is going ok.

 

I'm looking forward to catching up during the week

 

I am not going to respond to make concrete plans. F-that. He can get in touch if he wants to, otherwise good-bye dude.

[sb129]

Oh give the poor guy a break!

 

He wants to see you again! Guys don't play games. They don't p*ss around and say stuff they don't really mean. He said you are sweet, hot, smart and sexy. Men DO NOT say that sort of stuff to girls if they are "low-interest".

 

What more do you want?

 

 

Good grief.

[threebyfate]

Oh give the poor guy a break!

 

He wants to see you again! Guys don't play games. They don't p*ss around and say stuff they don't really mean. He said you are sweet, hot, smart and sexy. Men DO NOT say that sort of stuff to girls if they are "low-interest".

 

What more do you want?

 

 

Good grief.

I dunno, sb. From all I've read on LS, online dating right now is full of gamers. And this guy waited for two days previous to responding. I agree that he's not low interest but would say he's a gamer and gamers are usually sad sacks.

[sb129]

Maybe he is on a forum somewhere saying "I really like this girl, but I don't want to seem too keen or desperate, how many days should I wait to message her without appearing desperate?"

 

It all seems like games to me. I met my H online as you know, but there was none of this angst. We moved it into the real world pretty sharpish. No games.

[OceanGirl]

I dunno, sb. From all I've read on LS, online dating right now is full of gamers. And this guy waited for two days previous to responding. I agree that he's not low interest but would say he's a gamer and gamers are usually sad sacks.

 

Yeah TBF, it seems like he is playing some sort of control game at best or has other preferable options that aren't panning out. I don't like it.

 

After the date (3 days ago) I thought it was cool that he texted me an hour later to give me a compliment. So for the sake of not playing games, I have sent him a message through the dating site the next day - just being open about how I enjoyed meeting him. Then 2 days of nothing. It would make sense if he didn't want to see me again. But in the light of his recent message, it's just bizarre and is not a good bet for someone with trust issues like myself.

[threebyfate]

Yeah TBF, it seems like he is playing some sort of control game at best or has other preferable options that aren't panning out. I don't like it.

 

After the date (3 days ago) I thought it was cool that he texted me an hour later to give me a compliment. So for the sake of not playing games, I have sent him a message through the dating site the next day - just being open about how I enjoyed meeting him. Then 2 days of nothing. It would make sense if he didn't want to see me again. But in the light of his recent message, it's just bizarre and is not a good bet for someone with trust issues like myself.

Good call. Words and actions don't mesh.

[dispatch3d]

Sending him a text really isn't as big a deal as your making it out to be.

 

If he seems low interest on the next date, assuming you two manage to get together again, then don't pursue things or push things. You've gotten in trouble in the past pursueing guys that weren't that interested, but that doesn't mean don't meet them on a second date. It just means if they aren't acting interested enough, don't push for anything.

 

Doing things that guys like/enjoy/whatever will get them more interested in you. Kinda obvious. Anyhow start trying to figure out what that **** is, and do that more. Pushing for sex isn't actually what this stuff is, even though if you asked us that's what we'd say. Just look for positive reactions, and see what they really like, sort of like, etc.

[dispatch3d]

Regardless of the genders, I really don't think it's fair for one person to have a set of rules or standards in their own mind, that they expect the other to live up to; and then mark the other person down for failing to fully live up to those standards; unless the standards have been fully and clearly communicated from one to the other.

 

I'm not talking about obvious things like not being a criminal or not cheating.

 

I'm talking about basically arbitrary things, such as how long to wait to txt someone after a date; when to call; what words and attitudes should be used; and all this other completely arbitrary stuff that one person wants to impose on the other.

 

I don't think you realize that's what you're doing OG, not just with this guy, but others you've posted about, as well.

 

People with a lot of rules are very easy to piss off. So try to reduce the number of rules you have for guys you date cause you'll drive yourself mad being angry all the time.

 

fwiw anger happens because someone broke a rule you have....

 

I'd suggest listening to some tony robbins stuff, he's got some really good programs for emotional control, making friends etc. etc. that are helpful for everyone.

[dispatch3d]

Yeah TBF, it seems like he is playing some sort of control game at best or has other preferable options that aren't panning out. I don't like it.

 

After the date (3 days ago) I thought it was cool that he texted me an hour later to give me a compliment. So for the sake of not playing games, I have sent him a message through the dating site the next day - just being open about how I enjoyed meeting him. Then 2 days of nothing. It would make sense if he didn't want to see me again. But in the light of his recent message, it's just bizarre and is not a good bet for someone with trust issues like myself.

 

I think it's best to just assume people aren't playing games and work from that assumption. This first thing seems like a conclusion you invented because you are overthinking this.

[Ariadne]

So he replied

 

Hey OG,

 

Sorry it took me so long getting back to you.

 

I really enjoyed meeting you too. I had fun and I think you're really sweet (and hot and smart and sexy).

 

I hope the exam marking is going ok.

 

I'm looking forward to catching up during the week

 

I am not going to respond to make concrete plans. F-that. He can get in touch if he wants to, otherwise good-bye dude.

 

Of course he likes you!

 

OMG

 

He is probably not talking to you because he doesn't want to disturb you knowing you'll be so busy.

[Ariadne]

OMG he just texted me this:

 

"Mmmm you are the best kisser I have ever had. wow :)"

 

He probably doesn't want to sound too eager.

 

Because a guy that writes this is eager.

[sb129]

I think it's best to just assume people aren't playing games and work from that assumption. This first thing seems like a conclusion you invented because you are overthinking this.

 

I agree with this.

 

To go into this thinking that everyone is going to be a game player is starting off on the back foot IMO.

 

OG- are you in Australia?

[GivenUp0083]

Delete his number if you don't think you have the self control to stop calling him. I keep some girls in my phone in case they end up calling me down the road and I don't sound "surprised" if I don't recognize the number or their voice, I like to know who is calling me, but that's just my own OCD thing I guess.

 

Based on what I've read from your other posts, I know you feel sad, but try to think of this as a learning experience. Maybe you can grow and develop as a person now that you've realized what it's like for some other people you've rejected or ignored in the past. All I can say is for all women, not just you OG, that it would be better to tell the guy you're not into him than just ignore him. Being ignored after what I thought was a wonderful date(s) and then hearing nothing was absolutely devastating and could've had some pain and stress relieved if the girl had just straight up told me and was honest. I hope going forward you don't do this to guys in the future now that you've been on the other end.

[sagetalk]

I am not going to respond to make concrete plans. F-that. He can get in touch if he wants to, otherwise good-bye dude.

 

This is extremely cruel and somewhat frighting. This kind of behavior creates men that hate women. I don't even know what to say it's so troubling .

[xpaperxcutx]

Oh give the poor guy a break!

 

He wants to see you again! Guys don't play games. They don't p*ss around and say stuff they don't really mean. He said you are sweet, hot, smart and sexy. Men DO NOT say that sort of stuff to girls if they are "low-interest".

 

What more do you want?

 

 

Good grief.

 

His reply screams low interest to me.

[OceanGirl]

His reply screams low interest to me.

 

 

I don't think that the content of his reply screams low interest but the fact that he waited 2 days to reply.

 

I am not going to pursue this further.

[northern_sky]

I don't think that the content of his reply screams low interest but the fact that he waited 2 days to reply.

 

I am not going to pursue this further.

 

good call.

[sb129]

His reply screams low interest to me.

 

How????

 

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

Its times like this I am so glad to be out of the dating game if this is how complicated it gets. I remember angst over calls, but not this level of analysis.

[daphne]

Yeah TBF, it seems like he is playing some sort of control game at best or has other preferable options that aren't panning out. I don't like it.

 

After the date (3 days ago) I thought it was cool that he texted me an hour later to give me a compliment. So for the sake of not playing games, I have sent him a message through the dating site the next day - just being open about how I enjoyed meeting him. Then 2 days of nothing. It would make sense if he didn't want to see me again. But in the light of his recent message, it's just bizarre and is not a good bet for someone with trust issues like myself.

 

OG,

 

Whereas I think you're getting too much flack here, I do agree that you are over analyzing a bit.

 

If I understood correctly, he waited 2 days to contact you after your email online? And you think he's playing games? I think you could relax a little and go with the flow a little better. You can't control their responses and you don't know where his head was. 2 days is not a long time. 2 days does not make him a gamer. I'm not sayign they aren't online. Au contraire I think there are plenty. But if you can't loosen up and trust yourself to know when to get out of a situation (not necessarily the person just your own instincts) then you will blow any potential good thing.

 

We've all been there if we've dated online. Shoot, it happens all of the time offline as well. Just relax a little. Take it easy on him and yourself. If there's a pattern of ignoring you after a couple of dates or so then you have reason to move on. But at this point, I think you are making it a lot bigger than it really is.