Molley Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 What more can I say.... this is wonderful news to hear!
LoveActually Posted November 17, 2010 Posted November 17, 2010 It's why I've come to the conclusion that a lack of self-awareness is what leads some people to cheat. Other issues like conflict avoidance, low self esteem and childhood issues can often be added into the mix. But without self-awareness, a WS will continue to think they behaved badly and have no reason/incentive to try to figure it all out. They will have the "it just happened" mindset and are at higher risk for a repeat affair. It's why I insisted that my husband figure himself out if our marriage was to continue. Hey Snowflower..this is my second reply ever on this site..but I know I have to talk to you..I have no idea how to do that..but we have so much in common it truly freaks me out..very similar situation....my husband and I are going thru pretty much the same thing, same amount of time and I so want to talk someone who is not jaded about everything because my husband and I are one of the exceptions that are not only healing but doing better than ever and I so want to share that with someone that seems to be in the same place!
Author Snowflower Posted November 17, 2010 Author Posted November 17, 2010 Snowflower I am really happy that you and your husband are back on track. As painful as affairs are and as hard as recovery is, you really can come out of it stronger, more aware, and with a much stronger marriage than ever before. And the key to healing and reconciliation is being perfectly willing to live HAPPILY without them if they don't do the work necessary to give you the relationship you deserve and desire. Bravo. Thank you PR and to everyone who responded. I appreciate it. Hey Snow - I'm so glad to hear that you and your hubby are reconciling - and doing it right this time. I don't have much to add but for us, what at least triggered much of the problems was getting self-centered while we each suffered through some major illnesses. Unfortunately, we are again experiencing some major illnesses, but this time we each have a completely different attitude. I understand his fear of losing me and he can now understand the other side as well. If we hadn't gone through the past problems, we probably would not be able to weather this bout. I never thought I'd say that I was glad about what happened, but through it we gained the closeness we now have, and that is life sustaining. Silk Hey Silk, I think I know exactly what you mean. It has been a rough several years for us (external factors). The A happened in the middle of all this. You would think that we had had our share of bad luck but it continued this year. But the strength we have together now is amazing. Without nearly losing everything, who knows, maybe we wouldn't have weathered this onslaught and would be divorced by now. So maybe what happened actually 'saved' us, who knows. I'm ruminating. Silk, I hope things improve for you health-wise. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Hey Snowflower..this is my second reply ever on this site..but I know I have to talk to you..I have no idea how to do that..but we have so much in common it truly freaks me out..very similar situation....my husband and I are going thru pretty much the same thing, same amount of time and I so want to talk someone who is not jaded about everything because my husband and I are one of the exceptions that are not only healing but doing better than ever and I so want to share that with someone that seems to be in the same place! Hi LoveActually, it appears you don't have private messaging yet? I think you need a certain amount of posts to do this. In the meantime, ask away here on the public forums! I (and others here who have been through a similar experience) am always happy to chat!
silktricks Posted November 18, 2010 Posted November 18, 2010 So maybe what happened actually 'saved' us, who knows. I'm ruminating. Silk, I hope things improve for you health-wise. I'll keep you in my thoughts. ! Thanks very much, Snow. It's amazing how hearing something truly terrible from the doctor concentrates the mind. All of a sudden the little things seem tiny, and the things you thought huge seem pretty darn small.
OWoman Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 I am at peace now. It's been two years this month since d-day. My H and I are happy together and bad things that happened can finally be put to rest. Wonderful news, snow! I hope things go from strength to strength for you!
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