OCmars30 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 So my ex girlfriend is planning to go with me to a concert in 10 days. She said she took off work and everything but if her friend has a baby on that day she can't go. So i'm thinking she said that incase she changes her mind. The last two nights she has been texting me just small talk. And last night she text me saying how excited she is. So I guess my question is: do you think this means she wants to get back together? or is she just using me? I don't want to go to the concert with her and look like a fool. Also, should I be mad if she is dating someone else while talking to me? I sometimes get the vibe she is dating someone else because she posted pics on facebook of her and some guy being all couple like at a party. But her facebook status says single still. Any opinions on the matter or advice on how I should handle this would be greatly appreciated! I'm basically trying to get to a point in my mind where I can accept if she wants to be friends and is seeing someone else but wants to see me as well but that is easier said than done since I still have strong feelings for her. Oh and we have been broken up for a little over a month and dated for a couple months. I have not recieved any contact from her in 2 days just short responses from my texts. Trying not to read into that too much.
Don Ho Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Why are you going to a concert with her? Your idea? I take it she broke up with you? If you've seen pics of her with another guy I think you at least have your answer that she's sees other guys. Why would you want to waste your time with a girl like that? If she was REALLY into you, then she would be with YOU and there would be no guessing. Are you taking her to the concert with the idea of winning her back? You're willing to be "just friends"? If it were me, I would cut her lose and find a girl that is REALLY interested in me.
wicar1 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 She's playing you....don't go with her... show your busy.
Author OCmars30 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) Okay guys I know most likely you are right but I have to see her in person and make sure just so I know for sure. Also, it's not that simple since she does live 2 hours away from me so it's not like I have a lot of opportunity to see her. AND she did just text me a couple hours ago. Edited November 13, 2010 by OCmars30
Author OCmars30 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Also I sent her a message on facebook after i text her saying I didn't want to go to the concert with her but never responded to her text saying why since I was so mad that she put those pictures up. This is what I wrote: Just for the record I really wanted to go to the Stars concert with you because I know we would have fun. The thing is that day my ex of nine years came back into my life and was screwing with my head. So I was pissed off. and then it seems to me like you keep hurting my feelings and you never seem to realize it and it gets frustrtating and it hurts that you wouldn't make more of an effort after that to find out what went wrong that day. You know you have given me a lot of reasons to be wary of my trust in you and I have been very patient but it just seems like you don't get that or that you are playing games with me and I really don't like it..... and this was her response: Woah, okay... I am well aware that your trust in me will probably never fully be restored. I ****ed up pretty badly, I know, I'm sorry and wish I could take it back. You already know that. But... what the hell have I done lately to hurt your feelings or make you think I'm "playing games" with you? When you text me about the concert, I was really excited to hang out with you! Then all of a sudden you say you don't want to go with me... and I was confused as **** because I hadn't done anything wrong. After you told me you didn't think we should go, I DID try to ask about it. I remember saying "okay, but can I ask why?" and got no response. Then I was a smart ass and said "okay, don't tell me, it's cool." (which was kinda mean, but I didn't really understand what was going on) and again, got no response. Then I tried to talk to you both on facebook and AIM and got nothing. So I figured you were ignoring me and I quit trying to talk to you. I knew something was going on with you because of facebook and would try to talk to you, but you never really replied or never seemed interested in talking, and I wasn't going to pry... I'm sorry about your ex, it's not cool when people play games... even though I apparently do that. It's not like I meant to. So the ex girlfriend stuff was made up since I didn't want her to think she could get under my skin that much. But what do you guys think of what she said?
wicar1 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Also I sent her a message on facebook after i text her saying I didn't want to go to the concert with her but never responded to her text saying why since I was so mad that she put those pictures up. This is what I wrote: Just for the record I really wanted to go to the Stars concert with you because I know we would have fun. The thing is that day my ex of nine years came back into my life and was screwing with my head. So I was pissed off. and then it seems to me like you keep hurting my feelings and you never seem to realize it and it gets frustrtating and it hurts that you wouldn't make more of an effort after that to find out what went wrong that day. You know you have given me a lot of reasons to be wary of my trust in you and I have been very patient but it just seems like you don't get that or that you are playing games with me and I really don't like it..... and this was her response: Woah, okay... I am well aware that your trust in me will probably never fully be restored. I ****ed up pretty badly, I know, I'm sorry and wish I could take it back. You already know that. But... what the hell have I done lately to hurt your feelings or make you think I'm "playing games" with you? When you text me about the concert, I was really excited to hang out with you! Then all of a sudden you say you don't want to go with me... and I was confused as **** because I hadn't done anything wrong. After you told me you didn't think we should go, I DID try to ask about it. I remember saying "okay, but can I ask why?" and got no response. Then I was a smart ass and said "okay, don't tell me, it's cool." (which was kinda mean, but I didn't really understand what was going on) and again, got no response. Then I tried to talk to you both on facebook and AIM and got nothing. So I figured you were ignoring me and I quit trying to talk to you. I knew something was going on with you because of facebook and would try to talk to you, but you never really replied or never seemed interested in talking, and I wasn't going to pry... I'm sorry about your ex, it's not cool when people play games... even though I apparently do that. It's not like I meant to. So the ex girlfriend stuff was made up since I didn't want her to think she could get under my skin that much. But what do you guys think of what she said? but why did you guys break up?
wicar1 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 you can be friends with your ex, provided that she never cheated on you while in the relationship and she doesn't try to hurt your feelings by her actions (Like she posted pics on FB)
Author OCmars30 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 @wicar1 We broke up over a fight we had about my jealousy and other things we disagreed on. She said she was just not ready to be with anyone at the time. Since it was less than a month after she and her ex of 1 year broke up that her and I jumped into a relationship. But we have been in touch ever since with her initiating the contact most of the time. I know I was not just some rebound because she wanted me to be included in her family life by meeting her parents and spending time with them as well as her closest friends.
wicar1 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 @wicar1 We broke up over a fight we had about my jealousy and other things we disagreed on. She said she was just not ready to be with anyone at the time. Since it was less than a month after she and her ex of 1 year broke up that her and I jumped into a relationship. But we have been in touch ever since with her initiating the contact most of the time. I know I was not just some rebound because she wanted me to be included in her family life by meeting her parents and spending time with them as well as her closest friends. she's never cheated that's a good. Still I think having a friendship with her really depends on her actions and her repect for your feelings.
Author OCmars30 Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Yes I agree. I don't she did it to hurt my feelings I just think she is kinda insensitive like that and doesn't think before she does stuff. I'm not making excuses at all for that behavior i'm just saying I don't think she tries to hurt my feelings. But who knows maybe she was trying to make me jealous. Girls.............
Author OCmars30 Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Okay so we went to the concert. She drove 2 hours to see me and go to the concert with me. And the whole time she was texting some guy at the concert so I started acting distant and she asked if anything was wrong and I said no. Later after i got home i posted on my facebook status: "Think I was just used and it hurts." She text me as soon as she got home saying hey..is your fb status about me? I didnt reply so she got on facebook chat and said "hey did you get my text?" again I did not reply she then messaged me again with ".....?" still I did not reply. so then she messaged me one more time sayin "okay then....." So about an hour later i text her back saying sorry i fell asleep but didnt get your messages. and no that was not about you. So she text me back right away saying "okay good....I wouldn't want you to think that. I had a lot of fun tonight." So iwent into this whole thing about it didnt seem like you did. And I explained why saying "I just think it is rude that I take you to this concert and am being nice and i have not seen you in a long time and you are just texting some guy the whole concert. just inconsiderate from my point of view." She then kept apologizing an eventually said: "No you're right i was on my phone too much. Next time we hang out(if you want to) i'll back off some. Deal? So I said yeah. She then text me back saying: "Okay. I'm sorry again. I'm going to bed though. Sweet dreams." I just said good night. and text her the next day and said hey when you are not busy I would like to talk to you. And she said Oh Okay sure. i want to tell her I still have feelings for her. but I have yet to talk to her. Any thoughts?
Don Ho Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Yes I have thoughts: don't bother telling her how you "feel" or that you have feelings for her. Bro, she DUMPED you. Still you keep hanging on. It never matters how YOU feel about THEM it's all about how THEY feel about YOU. Telling her you still have feelings will do NOTHING to stir any romantic feelings about you and it may just push her away further. Ok. So you went to the concert and she text another guy the whole time! Do you get the picture? She broke up with you and she's no longer interested. If you want to hold on to hope or keep clinging on being her "friend" until she finds another guy, that's ok I guess .... if you want us to call you Doormat.
rebeccajones Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I think you do need to talk to her. How do you know she was texting a guy? Tell her how you feel what do you have to lose. After reading your thread it does seem like you got wrapped up and she is recently out of a relationship. You may need to work on yourself, because she might enjoy you and your company but I don't know if she can be ready for a full fledged relationship. From her responses to your last texts it seems as if she is trying though. Be strong.
Author OCmars30 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 (edited) @ RebeccaJones.I could tell because it was a guy's name and she was kinda being flirty with him. Saying she could use a massage since her feet hurt. Anyways I told her I need to talk with her when she had the time a couple days ago. So she made the initiative last night and text me said what exactly do you need to talk about? I said "Hey sorry i'm out right now with some friends so can't really go into great detail but one of the things is how much i appreciate that you apologized the other night and that we were able to communicate openly about it. It made me appreciate you even more." She text me back saying: "Well i do truly feel bad about it. But i'll let you hang out with your friends. We'll talk later. " Then I said: "Yes of course. But one more thing quickly, it was really nice to see you again it made me realize how much I missed you." She then said: "Yeah it was great to see you too have a good night." That was it. So I guess today the conversation continues. Opinions? Edited November 23, 2010 by OCmars30
Author OCmars30 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Don Ho, I know what you are saying I really do. I jut can't stop thinking abouth her and I don't want to look back on this 20 years later and say I should have told her how I felt. I know it is a long shot but it's like Rebecca said what do I have to lose?
wicar1 Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 (edited) Don Ho, I know what you are saying I really do. I jut can't stop thinking abouth her and I don't want to look back on this 20 years later and say I should have told her how I felt. I know it is a long shot but it's like Rebecca said what do I have to lose? - I jut can't stop thinking abouth her and I don't want to look back on this 20 years later and say I should have told her how I felt. Are you sure she's the right person??? Anyway it's always better to look back after 20 years and say I should have told her how I felt, rather than saying .. I shouldnt have taken her back !!! with you left on the street old and sick, while she gets custody of your kids money and home..... Anyway follow your instincts.... good luck !!! Edited November 24, 2010 by wicar1
Graceful Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Sorry, but this is done and done. She has a healthy ego to feed, and you are just supplying her with ego food. This is not how people should act or do act when they care about you, and if you think it is, then you need to re-evaluate what "caring" means to you. She only wants to hang with you to satisfy her ego and probably b/c she doesn't want you to move on. She broke up with you, remember?? Do yourself a favor and cut her loose. Trust me on this, you will not be thinking about her 20 years from now! If you want to talk to her one last time, meet her in the middle of where you both live (you said it was two hours away), tell her to leave her cell phone in her car, and sit somewhere and tell her that you cannot be friends with her. Plain and simple. Once you have been close to someone, how can you be friends? You can't. Stand up for yourself and try not to let the door hit her too hard on her way out. She does not care about you, she's selfish. Sorry. You're only prolonging the END, you can't go back, and there's no future. Again, sorry.
Author OCmars30 Posted November 25, 2010 Author Posted November 25, 2010 Thank you Graceful. That is what I needed to hear. I did know all of this already. But I still had to tell her how I felt and I did and she told me she no longer has feelings for me but would love to have me in her life. I knew she didn't like me anymore but just had to hear it from her for my own piece of mind. I don't regret telling her how I feel. I feel better now actually. But thank you to everyone on here that told me what they thought.
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