GivenUp0083 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 A lot of talk about online dating and today I went back to my old OKcupid profile to shut it down as I still get emails once in a while. I decided to take a look at my message history, and I realized something....the only girls that ever made initial contact with me were clearly super overweight. Now I'm not a picky dude on body types, I've dated some girls with a little bit of meat on their bones in the past, but I figured as long as they're in some sort of healthy physical shape and they don't weigh more than I do (200 lbs) then I'd give them a chance for the most part. But seriously, I hear so many women, including friends, who say they wouldn't/couldn't date a dude that weighed less than they do. So what are these extremely overweight women thinking when they email me? That I won't notice they are obese? That if we hooked up there's no way they could ever be on top? Seriously, I just never understood that part of dating sites. I know being only 5'8" that I'm not even going to try my chances with a woman who is taller, there's no way she'd go for it....why don't these women realize the other way around?
Billzebub Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I noticed when I was online dating that the overweight girls were more forward. I had to chase the more desirable women. I initially went out a few times with women I wasn't crazy about because it was easier letting them come to me, but I realized I wasn't gonna be happy with them, so I moved on.
somedude81 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Obese women know that they have do not have any "dating value." Men are not going to pursue them. So they have to become the aggressors if they want to meet somebody.
irc333 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Yeah, I noticed an over abundance of overweight women...not just "chunky" but morbidly obese...and they have no real excuse for being obese, like they're approaching 40, when everyone metabolism slows down....but these women are in their 20's for cryin' out loud....how can they do that to themselves at such a youthful age?? (I see it in men, too)
ReturnToSender Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I was seeing a guy for a little while a cpl months ago, and he was a tiny little thing. He made me feel *huge!* LoL! And Im really not, though Im tall Im pretty lean and muscular. He ran a lot and had a runners body, super lean and everything. Anyway, he abuptly ended things, and a friend of mine saw him out on a date with someone else....apparently very overweight, she was all over him and he was loving it. As my friend put it "she was huuuuge!! Youre so not his type!" All I can say is more power to him..and to her! Yeah it seems he really likes bigger women... We got along super well and we're equally amazed by all the things we had in common but I guess physically I didnt make the cut and when this girl came along he couldnt resist. BBW's get lots of love too...there are guys who like, and prefer it. Theres no one type for anyone, and I think its great for someone to be confident and know they have something to offer no matter what their size...I dont think theres any reason for someone to feel undatable or less desirable cause of their weight.
carhill Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Another perspective is, if they have always been overweight, they've become comfortable in their skin enough to express their desires and preferences proactively. They know society isn't going to come to them (it's obvious all over our culture), so they take the bull by the horns and do and approach who they find attractive. It's the same with anyone who doesn't 'match up' with society's desired norms, man or woman. You either sit and collect road dust or you get up and do something about it. Sure, it's possible to 'fix' the weight, and perhaps they are in that process. Shall they sit on the side of the road for the number of months/years it takes to make the lifestyle changes to achieve that goal? Or, perhaps they are happy to maintain their current appearance and weight? Should they languish because of that choice? Some say yes; some no. The 'no's' contact you. You didn't find them attractive, similar to how women find the majority of the messages in their online dating box to be from men they find unattractive. It's OK
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