Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I'll remember that the next time I'm considering getting naked with a sibling. Sigh. I suppose America is still haunted by Puritan ideals despite the overabundance of sexual interactions in the TV. Look, siblings take baths together. Siblings see each other naked. A friend of mine is 18, pretty leggy and she grew up seeing her brothers naked(and she does the same). It's natural. Try European sometime.
Green Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Sigh. I suppose America is still haunted by Puritan ideals despite the overabundance of sexual interactions in the TV. Look, siblings take baths together. Siblings see each other naked. A friend of mine is 18, pretty leggy and she grew up seeing her brothers naked(and she does the same). It's natural. Try European sometime. I seem to be haunted by hypocritical women. Seeing your brother naked and talking sex with him is just weird. The idea of talking about sex with my sister is gross. If some one I was dating said she had a guy friend she enjoys talking about sex with and yes theyve seen each other naked I would not be cool with that. There really are just to many great girls out there to waste time on the few that arn't so great. Plenty of doormats and guys that just don't care(don't care because they like cheating to or just enjoy having a gf that makes them jelouse) willing to take my place though
Akherousia Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I seem to be haunted by hypocritical women. Seeing your brother naked and talking sex with him is just weird. The idea of talking about sex with my sister is gross. If some one I was dating said she had a guy friend she enjoys talking about sex with and yes theyve seen each other naked I would not be cool with that. There really are just to many great girls out there to waste time on the few that arn't so great. Plenty of doormats and guys that just don't care(don't care because they like cheating to or just enjoy having a gf that makes them jelouse) willing to take my place though You're a bit of a funny case. You show yourself to be a sex machine. A Greek god among the most beautiful of males and females. You're like the youthful Apollo but with the grace of an Epic poet and the body of Heracles. But you won't talk about the most natural thing(sex) with your sister. Do you drink from your sister's glass or that's gross too? sharing a kiss on the cheek is gross too because she's probably sexually liberated? Or that's too "scary" to consider?
Seamless74 Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 (edited) as usual CARHILL makes his point perfectly... i always appreciate your replies to threads around here one of the only consistently rational posters on LS. Edited November 13, 2010 by Seamless74
Author wierdmunky Posted November 14, 2010 Author Posted November 14, 2010 I know, this might sound weird: I don't want to jump of every guy I find attractive. Does he have a girlfriend? He's off limits. Is he single and finds me attractive? He's doable. Men and women can control themselves. We aren't animals prone to mating with each other as soon as a hint of attraction is there. Haven't you ever had an attractive male friend but never acted on it because of some reason or because of a lack of feelings? Of course, but would I make a move on what I think is a super hot guy friend who I have a great connection with, and likes to cuddle with me? heck yes. That's like way too easy. It would take 2 seconds for me. How easy is it also to make a decision to get physical when your 10cm verses 10ft or 3miles away? It's just one of those temptations I personally would stay away from.
zengirl Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Is that a red flag, weird, or just a rare thing and ok? I had this friend (used to date) who had mentioned he had a lot of friends that are girls, and wanted to "warn" me or something about it before hand, maybe "warn" isn't too good of a word for it but I can't find another one right now. His best friend was also a girl who was dating one his his close buddies also. I was just thinking about it, and trying to read more into him. Most people on here say that a lot of guys will be friends with a girl just to try to sleep with them, and girls who are in the reverse situation are red-flaggers or attention whores. I guess that's what fueled my question. I just wanted to know if it's a positive or a negative for a guy, or again another "red flag" situation I should know about. I have two roommates---one of them is a fellow. Most of his friends, including myself, are female. He grew up with sisters. He's got some guy friends---and in our generation, a lot of friends are groups of friends, so a lot of times there's a big mix of girls and guys that are all friends---or I'd find it weird. I find a guy with NO male friends weird. I also prefer to date guys who have at least a few female friends----it shows they can respect women as people even when they're not looking to sleep with them. The problem here is he's "Warned" you about it. That seems weird to me. I have male friends. I don't hide it, but I don't make a fuss about it. Some of them are in relationships; some of them are single. Some of them are more group friends/part of a couple; some of them are people I will go to dinner or grab a drink with individually, but that doesn't make it "date like." We don't snuggle, cuddle, flirt, etc. We talk like people. My boyfriend also has some female friends. He even has some female friends he's dated, as I have an ex or two I've remained friends with-----individual dinners or something with those folks would be weird, but it's not like they have to be kicked out of the circle. He has a particularly close female friend, in fact; she used to date one of his good friends and he's stayed close to her even after that. The problem I'd have is if the friendships were superficial. But then I don't like anyone with a lot of superficial friendships in general---if a fellow sincerely enjoys friendship with people who happen to be women and appreciates them as human beings, I'm all for it.
Green Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Christ. Guys, instead of wanting to bang everything with a pair of breasts, try to control that libido. It might just get you some beneficts. Say, you befriend an attractive woman and she introduces you to an equally good looking woman who just might be interested in you. Don't ruin friendships or potential relationships because you can't control the taco bell. Yeah this is all well and good when a guy is single but he really shouldn't be hoping to be introduced to attractive women when he is in a relationship. You're a bit of a funny case. You show yourself to be a sex machine. A Greek god among the most beautiful of males and females. You're like the youthful Apollo but with the grace of an Epic poet and the body of Heracles. But you won't talk about the most natural thing(sex) with your sister. Do you drink from your sister's glass or that's gross too? sharing a kiss on the cheek is gross too because she's probably sexually liberated? Or that's too "scary" to consider? I don't talk about sex in the entertaining context a man and woman "friends" having a good time would talk about sex. which is what you were talking about when you mentioned how you had fun being nake and talking sex with your "friend" who is like a "brother" to you. Which shows you either a) don't have a brother b) barely know or arn't close to your brother at all.
lso802 Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 A lot of my friends are girls, and I can honestly say I'm not attracted to them in that way. There's nothing there in a romantic sense, but we have fun hanging out and have mutual respect for each other as individuals.
sanskrit Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 People are friends because of one reason; lack of sexual appeal. I know, this might sound weird: I don't want to jump of every guy I find attractive. Well if the second statement is true, then the first is not. Please reconcile. Personally, I disagree with the first statement, and agree with the second. It's quite possible to be sexually attracted to someone, yet enjoy a platonic friendship IMO precisely because of the truth of the second statement.
sally4sara Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Yeah this is all well and good when a guy is single but he really shouldn't be hoping to be introduced to attractive women when he is in a relationship. If he is in a relationship already, why would he be asking the girl out to even be in a situation where he would have to choose between keeping her as a friend only or dropping his interest entirely?
Green Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Well if the second statement is true, then the first is not. Please reconcile. Personally, I disagree with the first statement, and agree with the second. It's quite possible to be sexually attracted to someone, yet enjoy a platonic friendship IMO precisely because of the truth of the second statement. he/she what ever they are constantly makes contradictions. But good job catching it really made me giggle and yes of course its posible to be attracted to some one yet keep a relationship professional/friendly or what ever else after all we're not animals... atleast in the wild sense. The thing is if you want a relationship with boundaries which people like me do then you need boundaries to that relationship. Some people on LS seem to love having a romantic partner who has all kinds of special one on one relationships with the other sex that really have no boundary other then "don't cheat" which means something different to them then to me. If you are a girl for instance who doesn't like the idea of having a bf who cuddles (such as one poster in this thread said) with other women... then maybe you dump a guy like that... the same way I would dump a girl who insists on going out to some mans house for drinks and dinner even if it was actualy inoncent on both sides with is a real stretch
sanskrit Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Have always said that the difference between real friends and back-burnered romantic interests or attention sources is clear. With real friends, you want your SO to meet them and be their friend also. With the other type of "friend" they are purposefully kept apart from the SO, despite noise of your SO wanting to meet them, something always comes up such that it doesn't happen. Moreover, with women I've been exclusive with, back-burnered attention sources are always obvious in that the relationship is completely lopsided. The guys who are supposedly friends make all the effort in the friendship, usually in attempts to spend time with my GF, my GF is doing nothing in furtherance of the supposed friendships. This probably works the same with men with lots of female friends. Finally, real opposite sex friends tend to be long-time friends going way back. They aren't exes, they aren't drinking buddies, they aren't merely people from work. The word "friend" is overused these days in efforts to keep as many options open as possible, and this isn't the best foundation for any relationship to last. Those second kind of "friends" have to go if the relationship is going to prosper.
Opheliaimmortal Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 I know its hard to believe, but that's not a "red flag" right from the get go. Each situation is different. Some people, like me, find it easier to get along with those of the opposite sex. Having a majority of opposite sex friends is not in itself a "red flag" but it has the potential. Keep your eyes open and your logic on and it should be fine. My boyfriend is the same way, most of his friends are female. I hang with them, and a few are his exes, and some are like "sisters". Watch the interactions versus what he describes them as. Don't let this scare you away or make you overly paranoid.
welikeincrowds Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Having a majority of opposite sex friends is not in itself a "red flag" but it has the potential. Keep your eyes open and your logic on and it should be fine. You know, that's why they call them "red flags". Not because they immediately end the whole game, but because they're warning signs.
Opheliaimmortal Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 You know, that's why they call them "red flags". Not because they immediately end the whole game, but because they're warning signs. Yes, but the way that most people seem to use the term in this sense is not as a warning, but as a reason to wig out and heave themselves into paranoid overdrive. Hence the " "
Author wierdmunky Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Yes, but the way that most people seem to use the term in this sense is not as a warning, but as a reason to wig out and heave themselves into paranoid overdrive. Hence the " " So, ignore the supposed warning sign? It's not so much heaving yourself into paranoia, as much as just discussing it. Paranoia would be.. freaking out everytime you see a guy with lots of female friends. I was curious to see if the warning sign myths then were more than 50% true I still think that they are all trying to get something out of you, physical/relationship chances which is fine, but why hide it.
Green Posted November 15, 2010 Posted November 15, 2010 I know its hard to believe, but that's not a "red flag" right from the get go. Each situation is different. Some people, like me, find it easier to get along with those of the opposite sex. Having a majority of opposite sex friends is not in itself a "red flag" but it has the potential. Keep your eyes open and your logic on and it should be fine. My boyfriend is the same way, most of his friends are female. I hang with them, and a few are his exes, and some are like "sisters". Watch the interactions versus what he describes them as. Don't let this scare you away or make you overly paranoid. Great so how long have you guys been going and how old are you both? You don't have problems with him being friends with exs
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