fun2bewith Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 What would be the last thing or things you would want to say to your ex before you close the chapter and move on with your life? This is not to win them back, this is not for second chances, this is for you to close the chapter and start a new exciting book with new adventures... What would it be?
EricaH329 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Even though i'm passed that chapter now, and have said basically everything I needed to say... i'll play along "Dear N, our relationship definitely was a crazy one! We had the best of times, and the worst. After all is said and done, though, I do admit that I could have handled things differently. After much thought and self-reflection, i've come to realize that I wasn't the best fiance I could have been. But I never stopped loving, or caring for you. I gave you my heart, my mind, my body, my whole being. I stood by you through the toughest of times. I always opened my ears for you, and made sure my shoulder was there whenever you needed a good rest. I've also thought a lot about your position in the relationship. And while you taught me what it meant to truly love someone, you had your downfalls as well. Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing. I've truly learned a lot of wonderful things about myself, and what i'm looking for in a future partner. So, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for giving what you could, and allowing me to do the same. It was a wonderful experience (even through the hard times), and I wouldn't give it up for the world. I wish you the best, from the bottom of my heart. Love forever, Erica" Yay!
sedgwick Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I already said what I had to say. My last words to him were, "I love you unconditionally, always, for exactly who you are." His response was to completely ignore me and disappear. Sometimes I want another chance to tell him something or explain how he made me feel, but then I remember: I said everything I had to say, and he didn't care.
thatsonlyme Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I will have that opportunity soon and I had a general idea of what I was gonna say, but now I have to change all that. Now I need to come up with something that will make her think and maybe save her life! I discovered some new things about my ex gf's new boyfriend. Apparently he's a firearms smuggler, got arrested recently and she's all depressed about it, she misses him. wtf? her dad got killed by some lowlife on the street when she was a kid and now she's dating a guy who supplies lowlifes with weapons! Any suggestions? I'd really like to help her but she doesn't want to be helped. How to effectively push emotional buttons to make her think about herself and her life? It's not about getting her back, it's about saving a fool from herself!
PegNosePete Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Only one thing I would say: Don't let the door slam your ass on the way out.
9Lives Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I have never experience so much pain loving someone &nd I will never forget it. the only thing I can thank you for is teaching me the value off loving myself. you hurt me so bad over and over and over again and I can't wait to get it but its hard. I gave u my all. the hurt is deep but guess what I'm going to get over this. your day will come and I hope the pain is ten times worst. I don't wish u no happiness. I hope your life stays ****ed up. I hate what I been thru with u. I hate u
curiousnycgirl Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Probably not much different then the note below, which I sent about 6 weeks after I "snapped" - of course he didn't bother to even respond. Before anyone bothers to ask - yes I still love him (or at least the man I thought he was through my rose colored glasses), and no I will never let anyone close again). Just to clue you all in to what I am referring to in the first paragraph - I found his profile on match.com - after i saw 3 emails in a row in his yahoo email with subject lines sayign pictures form xyz on match.com - I didn't open them but they were very current - so I looked for his profile, which showed he had been active within 24 hours. Up until that moment I thought we were stronger than we had been in our entire 6 years together. "To say I have been doing a lot of thinking over the past month would be an understatement. I have come to realize that it is probably true that you were not kicking me when I was down - it is purely coincidental that I discovered your activity on Match when I was down - you've probably engaged in the behavior all along. In all likelihood you don't feel it is unacceptable, or something that has anything to do with me at all. You are entitled to that opinion, I do not share it. I know there are things about me that you would have liked to see changed goodness knows I tried. I started by quitting smoking. I was working on losing weight which I gained first when I quit smoking and then by taking steroids to deal with some health issues. Here's a newsflash for you - there were things about you that I was not all that thrilled about either. However I chose to love you as a whole, that meant not trying to change anything and accepting you for who you are and never looking at anyone else - I never even contemplated it. Nor did I ever do anything behind your back that I thought would be hurtful to you in anyway - quite the contrary as you very well know. It is clear to everyone who has known us over the past six years that I invested 100% in the relationship very early on. It has been equally obvious that over the same period your commitment has been substantially less. As I continued to take an honest look at us, I started to really put the pieces together - and to be fair you have been telling me the truth all along, through your actions if not your words - I was choosing not to listen to your honesty and I was fighting a losing battle. So I want to take this opportunity to give you the credit you deserve for your honesty of action, if not words – your actions always told me, and everyone around us, that you were never going to make a meaningful commitment to me . Many people saw it and told me/us – but again I chose not to listen, I take full responsibility for that. However on September 14th I could no longer ignore what has been so clear to others for so long. It is now clear to me that you feel there is someone out there better suited for you, and that you were continuing to look for her while you were with me. At that moment I realized that I could not trust you, you were not the man I thought you were, you were not acting with integrity or as MKP would put it, you were out of accountability with me. You consciously and very intentionally killed my trust in you – and frankly that hurts more than you will ever know. Your actions make it clear that my feelings and hurting me are not things that concern you. At this point I would like to know how you would like resolve the issue of the $24,200.00 that you owe me. As you realize, I paid a total of $14,400 for your medical insurance coverage from the last week of June, 2005 through the end of June, 2008. In addition, I paid a total of $9,800 to your attorney for your DWI case. Please let me know how you would like to manage the repayment of this accumulated debt. Believe it or not, I will always wish you nothing but the best - "
collegeguy_24 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I normally post on the contact your ex thread in the coping forum, but I guess I can do this hear. If I had one message to send her, this would be it. To: Jen Classen Jen, this might be the last time you hear from me, the last time I contact you unless you contact me. But I want you to know I love you. Even after everything, I still love you with my heart. I honestly believed you were the one, especially after you hinted it to me that I was the one for you as well. I am dating someone else right now, but I feel so bad, because she is giving me so much, and I am still in love with you. She knows this and is trying, but for some reason I love you. I think about you everyday, I would give anything, sacrifice anything even my own soul to have you back, to rewind time and to prevent the break up. I wish you would contact me, I miss you so much. I want you in my life, but I know you don't want me. Otherwise you would have contacted me by now. I can't say much more aside from the fact that I love you, I love you enough that I want you to be happy. Even if that happiness is not with me.
tobydog Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Dear Andrew I just want you to know how much I love you. yes I know the last few months were becoming more difficult with my drinking and pushing you away. I am so so sorry, what a wake up call, to lose the only man I have truly loved and so foolishly pushed away. Please don't take this out on our son who we waited 8 years for. You have had no contact with him and he needs you, we both do. You are a part of us and I cannot find a good reason for it to end like this. We could have saved this, we have been through so much and had a deep connection and bond from day one. I will never love again at my age. But think of your son. You hate me and that saddens me after all I have done for you. I have given you everything and you have literally walked out of this life into another. Are you happy? No I don't think so, I saw you today and you looked rough. I know you are losing the successful business that was my idea and you are in deep financial trouble. Which you all blame me for. You have lost your lovely house, car, adored dogs and above all your little boy which you blame me for. All you can say is I ruined your life. How? You have made me ill and shown no concern, neither about your son. He is a real delight and you are missing out on so much with him. You'll never get that back. I do wish you well in your choices but you need to remember all the rubbish you threw my way too, debts etc I bailed you out so many times. You have not given us a penny either. I hope you get the business back on track. I hope you get some help for your feelings and can eventaully let go of the anger. Why are you getting nastier with me? Just tell me that then I can have some end to this hell on Earth.
northern_sky Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 If I had one phone call/letter left, I would tell my ex to go f- himself.
This Hurts Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 Nothing. And I don't know what that means or how I feel about it. But when I think about having another chance to talk to her, nothing comes to mind with as to what to say. She's like a stranger to me now, literally, a completely different person. It's weird.
Author fun2bewith Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 I will have that opportunity soon and I had a general idea of what I was gonna say, but now I have to change all that. Now I need to come up with something that will make her think and maybe save her life! I discovered some new things about my ex gf's new boyfriend. Apparently he's a firearms smuggler, got arrested recently and she's all depressed about it, she misses him. wtf? her dad got killed by some lowlife on the street when she was a kid and now she's dating a guy who supplies lowlifes with weapons! Any suggestions? I'd really like to help her but she doesn't want to be helped. How to effectively push emotional buttons to make her think about herself and her life? It's not about getting her back, it's about saving a fool from herself! Would you risk your life to save a life of someone who doesn’t even care for herself? Every action you take will get a re-action…Best advice is to stay away, but since you care so much for her, I would suggest not to confront her directly with the issue… You can not tell her she is doing something wrong or tell her the guy is bad for her. She will only defend the guy. I think you need to work through one of her most influential friends and explain the situation to her. You also need to make your good intentions clear to the friend. Then you need to disappear from the scene. She(friend) can easily mistake your helping hand with jealousy and would then be very reluctant in convincing the friend. Be safe man!
Author fun2bewith Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 Dear Andrew I just want you to know how much I love you. yes I know the last few months were becoming more difficult with my drinking and pushing you away. I am so so sorry, what a wake up call, to lose the only man I have truly loved and so foolishly pushed away. Please don't take this out on our son who we waited 8 years for. You have had no contact with him and he needs you, we both do. You are a part of us and I cannot find a good reason for it to end like this. We could have saved this, we have been through so much and had a deep connection and bond from day one. I will never love again at my age. But think of your son. You hate me and that saddens me after all I have done for you. I have given you everything and you have literally walked out of this life into another. Are you happy? No I don't think so, I saw you today and you looked rough. I know you are losing the successful business that was my idea and you are in deep financial trouble. Which you all blame me for. You have lost your lovely house, car, adored dogs and above all your little boy which you blame me for. All you can say is I ruined your life. How? You have made me ill and shown no concern, neither about your son. He is a real delight and you are missing out on so much with him. You'll never get that back. I do wish you well in your choices but you need to remember all the rubbish you threw my way too, debts etc I bailed you out so many times. You have not given us a penny either. I hope you get the business back on track. I hope you get some help for your feelings and can eventaully let go of the anger. Why are you getting nastier with me? Just tell me that then I can have some end to this hell on Earth. Your letter is touching me! If anyone has a heart they will surley feel your pain after reading this letter...It is really powerful cause I can hear the truth in it...All I can say is be strong...And remember everything is not your fault!! It is impossible that everthing could be blamed on you...You are taking action, writing posts and trying to find a solutions! You are on the right tract...
Author fun2bewith Posted November 15, 2010 Author Posted November 15, 2010 I normally post on the contact your ex thread in the coping forum, but I guess I can do this hear. If I had one message to send her, this would be it. To: Jen Classen Jen, this might be the last time you hear from me, the last time I contact you unless you contact me. But I want you to know I love you. Even after everything, I still love you with my heart. I honestly believed you were the one, especially after you hinted it to me that I was the one for you as well. I am dating someone else right now, but I feel so bad, because she is giving me so much, and I am still in love with you. She knows this and is trying, but for some reason I love you. I think about you everyday, I would give anything, sacrifice anything even my own soul to have you back, to rewind time and to prevent the break up. I wish you would contact me, I miss you so much. I want you in my life, but I know you don't want me. Otherwise you would have contacted me by now. I can't say much more aside from the fact that I love you, I love you enough that I want you to be happy. Even if that happiness is not with me. I think I could just copy and paste your letter and send it to my x-girlfriend! This is exactly how I feel! Man, did I write this post in my sleep under a diffrent user name...I can relate so much! All I can say is that you are not alone!
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