nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I just moved to New York from Northern California, and I see a lot of complaints on threads (not just on LS, but elsewhere on the internet) about dating women in New York. No one really goes into detail; it just seems to be understood how "they" are. Can someone please tell me what the issue is? I had a NY native tell me on the subway the other day that I had a nice glow about me and to not let New York cause me to lose it. (And I'm not tan, btw). I don't want to become whatever this is that women here become. Thanks for any answers!! Oh, and so far, I love New York! That includes the people.
Woggle Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 It's just the upper manhattan yuppie types and the men are equally as shallow. The rest of NY women are great for ths most part actually.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 I've identified the men you are talking about, and they are so fun to watch because for a Californian, it's like watching characters in a movie. I haven't really seen their female counterparts yet. Except for really old scary-thin rich women.
carhill Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 IME, the ladies I've known and know from that area appear more street-wise and a bit 'harder', perhaps due to their very direct nature. Most of my Cali friends who go to NYC call people there 'rude'. Our friends live in such diverse areas as the upper west side of Manhattan, Queens, and Brooklyn. My observation is, once a New Yorker considers you a friend, it's a very different experience from being a casual visitor. This applies to men and women. One winter there and you'll likely understand what that fellow subway rider was saying. That's my instinct. So, you going to the Macy's parade? Never know who you might meet
Woggle Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 These women might be more blunt and direct but once you get involved with them they tend to have much better hearts than the spoiled suburban types. The native New York types from the other boroughs are the ones who will be right in the trenches with you when you are struggling.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Yeah, Carhill, I'm wondering how that translates to the dating scene, and why men find it hard to date women here. Also, are you implying that one hard winter and this Cali native is going to lose her easygoing nature? I think that because I expected New Yorkers to be rude that I was pleasantly surprised at how polite and helpful they are (in general), and once I got used to the direct questions, I actually started to enjoy how so many people will just strike up a conversation with a stranger. And I have to be careful if I ask for help, because sometimes they'll go overboard with trying to figure out a solution for me. I really want to go to the parade, but I'm having Thanksgiving in Connecticut and don't know if I can do both this year.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Woggle - I'm confused. Suburbs? Where are the suburbs in nyc? I thought Staten Island was a bit suburban, but other than that...?
Woggle Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Woggle - I'm confused. Suburbs? Where are the suburbs in nyc? I thought Staten Island was a bit suburban, but other than that...? I mean suburbs in general. I find people from the Mcmansion filled suburbs in certain parts of NJ to be much more off putting than New Yorkers.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Ahhh... suburbs. Haven't really experienced East Coast suburbs yet. Where I'm from, it's mostly suburbs so it's just normal ordinary folk living daily life there.
carhill Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 These women might be more blunt and direct but once you get involved with them they tend to have much better hearts than the spoiled suburban types. The native New York types from the other boroughs are the ones who will be right in the trenches with you when you are struggling. Yep, even from across the country, one of my friend's wives, a Greek from Brooklyn, has been right there in the trenches with me during the difficulties of the last few months. She has the energy of ten men and the heart to match. Since I have no family anymore, she informed me I will be spending Thanksgiving with them. Yes, ma'am I've noted, even though they have lived surrounded by McMansions for a number of years, both she and her husband still retain their city roots and sensibilities. Very humble people. Suburbs? Where are the suburbs in nyc? I thought Staten Island was a bit suburban, but other than that...? My friends currently live in Westport, CT, which is a 'suburb' of NYC. A lot of their neighbors commute to the city daily, or have apartments in the city and come home on the weekends. Their son lives on Long Island, near Massapequa, also a 'suburb' If you get on the NJT at Penn, you can head south into Jersey and explore the suburbs there, or take the MTA out of Grand Central up into Connecticut. It's cheap and fun to explore. Take a free ride on the Staten Island Ferry and explore that 'burb'. The upside is you'll meet and talk to a lot of people and maybe make some friends out of the deal. Never know
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 I've been to Con and and Staten Island and through Jersey. I just thought he was talking about New York City (Staten Island included) so I was confused. I thought maybe there were some suburbs in the boroughs that I didn't know about.
Woggle Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Parts of Queens are a bit more suburban than other parts of the city and some of the restoration projects in the Bronx have a somewhat suburban feel but for the most part NYC is a very urban enviroment.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Yeah, I live in Queens, and it is definitely more "suburban" than the city, but by California standards, it's no suburb. Oh, and I've been to Long Island too. Gorgeous.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 TFP - Thanks for the reply. I'll have to check those spots out in Queens just for curiosity's sake. I don't really know about that guy's luck with girls, but he was pretty cute and nice so I imagine he does okay. It was on the N train at Ditmars. And also for curiosity's sake, what age am I? lol
xpaperxcutx Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Yeah, I live in Queens, and it is definitely more "suburban" than the city, but by California standards, it's no suburb. Oh, and I've been to Long Island too. Gorgeous. Woohoo Queens all the way! I don't what you mean by New York women, unless you're refering to the ones who are in finance, live on Upper West Side, and completely high maintenance. Either that or some people take Sex and the City way too seriously!
Green Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 The women who decide to live in NYC and the NYC area often are cold and hard. this was my personal experience. I am much happier dating women any where else in the world.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Papercut - What Green said. Green - can you please elaborate? Any examples?
Woggle Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Woohoo Queens all the way! I don't what you mean by New York women, unless you're refering to the ones who are in finance, live on Upper West Side, and completely high maintenance. Either that or some people take Sex and the City way too seriously! Some people judge all of New York by upper Manhattan.
y2k Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I just moved to New York from Northern California, and I see a lot of complaints on threads (not just on LS, but elsewhere on the internet) about dating women in New York. No one really goes into detail; it just seems to be understood how "they" are. Can someone please tell me what the issue is? I had a NY native tell me on the subway the other day that I had a nice glow about me and to not let New York cause me to lose it. (And I'm not tan, btw). I don't want to become whatever this is that women here become. Thanks for any answers!! Oh, and so far, I love New York! That includes the people. I'll give you the down-low since I lived there for 3 months and my older brothers lives there. He lives in the boogie-down bronx. This may be the best analysis of it yet. The one thing about the females there that sticks out is that the good-looking females tend to only go "with their own kind". New York is not a melting pot, it's a tossed salad (like most of the country unfortunately). When you say "new york", you have to be specific. Not all girls there are the same and there are a ton of different groups in NYC. There are white people, African-Americans, Hispanics and Asians. They all tend to be in their own areas throughout the 5 boroughs. In lower to mid manhattan, you'll find mostly tall skinny white girls who live there, and then around night, you'll see a few hispanics and blacks who mostly go for the entertainment the area provides. The white girls in lower-mid Manhattan tend to like a high lifestyle. I'm not saying all are gold diggers, but don't think that chilling with them at Taco Bell is something they'll go for. Also they only tend to go for white guys in suits with a good job. In upper manhattan, you'll find hispanics and black girls. The black girls tend to like very manly black guys. The hispanic girls there are actually very open and sweet, but if you're not hispanic, don't even waste your time because (as you'll see in most of NY with everybody), they'll only go with their own kind when it comes to romance. They'll be friendly with ANYBODY though. Brooklyn girls tend to like the "gangsta" types. Again, they'll only go with their own type (white with white, hispanic with hispanic, etc). Bronx girls love to party but they love to fight a lot too. They'll even fist fight their own guys if it ever comes down to it. In queens you'll find either "hipster" white girls who tend to be boring and only go for the "hipster" types, or you'll find hispanic beauty queens, who are the BEST LOOKING WOMEN IN NYC. For anyone doubting it, go to the colombian clubs in queens and you'll see real beauty queens. But if you're a guy in queens looking for one of these colombian bombshells, then you'd better be hispanic. They don't really like "non-hispanic" guys. I remember I took a white friend of mine to one of the spanish clubs in queens. He fell in love with every hispanic girl there, but he never got the attention of any of them. And let me say that my friend usually gets gorgeous girls easily back in Miami, so this was the first time he's really gotten rejected. I, who am hispanic, got lucky with the girls easily. In NYC, if you want the good-looking girls, you have to be part of "their group". If you see a spanish beauty queen walking in queens, if you want a shot at her, you'd better be spanish. If you see a white girl dressed expensively in mid-manhattan, you'd better be a white guy with a high standard of living. This might be the "thing" you're talking about. I live in miami and there, you can get a beautiful girl easily without having to belong to a certain "group". I assume it's the same in the rest of the country. In NYC, you have to be a part of the girl's "group" in order to just have a shot. Of course the uglier girls with not much male attention in NYC tend to be easy but I'm only talking about the good looking ones. Just honesty. BTW, I'm glad I'm hispanic, lol. I think I'm going to move to queens. Vamos mi**da!!!!! lol
Woggle Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 This is not entirely. I am white and I dated a few beautiful hispanic women when I was living in NYC. As with any group there are those who stick within their group but I had no problems. If I hadn't wasted so much time on my ex something more probably could have developed. The artsy women in the East Village tend to be good as well and they have no problem hanging out at some cheap dive bar all night.
Mad Max Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I've never heard such complaining about the women. New York is such a large city with many people. There are many different types of women to choose from. I grew up in another large metro area(Greater Montréal) and in these cities, dating is much easier. Go to a small town in the midwest and you'll see it's much harder.
y2k Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 This is not entirely. I am white and I dated a few beautiful hispanic women when I was living in NYC. As with any group there are those who stick within their group but I had no problems. Of course in anything, there are exceptions to the rule. But the "thing" the original poster was talking about could very well be that. Because when I was there, and from what my brother and sister-in-law tells me, the rule tends to be that. But there are always exceptions to the rule.
Woggle Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 I don't know about small towns but the women from the yuppie suburbs from certain parts of NJ are just the worst. Those expensive gated communties are the most miserable places I have been to.
Author nycgirl6 Posted November 13, 2010 Author Posted November 13, 2010 Guys - I am loving this discussion. Thanks for all your input. And it's nice to hear from different ethnic backgrounds on this topic too. I'm white and American (obviously), and when I'm on the computer I forget sometimes that not everyone is looking at the same topic with my same POV. Even though the majority of my friends are not white, and I tend to (not always) date (and have married) outside my race. Planet - I'm 41, and I should probably change my screen name to woman, but girl is so much easier to type for some reason. I just thought it was funny that you mentioned my age even though I didn't think I had written it (although I realize now that one of my older posts would have given it away). I thought Carhill was a woman at first (maybe the picture of the baby prejudiced me), and I saw his posts very differently after I figured out he was a man. I'm going to also throw out an opinion on how the women look here. For some reason I thought there were be a lot more attractive women in New York. There are pretty women here, of course, but not THAT many. I've been here three months, and I would venture to say there are more pretty women in Northern California. (I can't even address Southern California as that is a different planet altogether). Not that it matters to me either way. Just an observation.
sally4sara Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 The only bad experience I had with a woman in NY was right after my husband proposed to me in Central park. We walked off the bridge where he had gotten down on his knee and almost ran into a woman walking her cute dog. My husband got down to pet the dog and I was still checking out the ring. The woman snapped at me "I guess you're a cat person or something?" I said "No I prefer dogs but I'm distracted; he just proposed to me. Sorry" She just rolled her eyes, said "who cares?" and walked off dragging her poor dog behind her. I was in too good a mood to do anything but laugh and say to my husband "I guess we just met one of those notoriously rude New Yorkers!"
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