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I don't know where I will get the strength to ignore him...

shiftedblue

By shiftedblue
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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shiftedblue Established Member

shiftedblue

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Long, long story, (aren't they all?) but I'll cut it short:

 

He ended it over three months ago. We were together 3.5 years. Did NC for like 50 days... then we started talking again, hooked up. I started talking about reconciliation. He told me he thinks about me every day, all the time, still loves me, but he doesn't have time for a relationship. He wants to "slowly re-piece" our relationship. And so I told him I refuse to do a half-assed thing, I don't want to leave myself vulnerable. I told him either take me back or do not contact me.

 

So he won't get back together with me, but he's also basically flat-out refusing to go no contact with me. He keeps saying he loves me and wants me in his life. I told him I will not call him and will not answer his calls. But I love him and I don't know where I will get the strength to ignore him...help.....

renogirl4 Member

renogirl4

Posted
Posted (edited)

Shiftedblue,

 

 

Honey, you have to be strong for yourself. Going back and forth and not knowing your status with this person, you will drive yourself ragged. What's going to happen is you will start to assume that since he's showing you attention, buying things etc etc, that you guys are back together. Only to find out he still doesn't want a commitment. Besides, since he's getting everything why would he want to complicate it by getting back together. Don't give him that luxury.

 

Trust me it takes a lot of will power. But you have to put your foot down and stick to it. If he texts you read it and delete it. Don't dwell on the message. Refocus your attention on something else. Yes, its easier said than done, but it can be done. When I would go NC with my bf, everytime I wanted to text or call him I would call a friend, or log on here to remind myself why I shouldn't call.

Edited by renogirl4
iamawesome Established Member

iamawesome

Posted
Posted

Get yourself one of those really nifty android phones. You can block all incoming texts and calls. It will be as if he doesn't exist. Change your cell number?

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shiftedblue Established Member

shiftedblue

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Thank you both so much. It's so hard but the people on this forum are really, really helpful in these tough times :)

Green Established Member

Green

Posted
Posted

Plain and simple he wants to USE your BODY and SOUL till there is nothing left and move on. Tell me what type of guy would I be if I broke up with my Girlfirend and wanted to continue having sex with her and being cutesy with her all the while saying "we're not back togather" then one day mayb a few months later maybe a few YEARS later I have a NEW gf and I just kind of stop talking to her saying WE WERE ALREADY broken up.

 

He want to use you for sex and emotional sht till he finds some one new.

renogirl4 Member

renogirl4

Posted
Posted

Of course it hard. Its never easy right? :)

 

You have done it before, where you went fifty days. You can do it again. Good luck!

SunsetRed Established Member

SunsetRed

Posted
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You'll never have the relationship you once had with him (sorry) and to keep from having contact w him you need to remember that from now on, any bit of contact you have with him is only going to make you feel like total crap. He'll just act like a half assed jerk as well. Stick by your guns, you are handling this very well. If you do slip and break NC. don't beat yourself up. If your ex acts jerky enough, it will only serve to help you further disconnect.

 

I actually broke NC last night when my ex begged me to talk with him. He was such an a$$ that now I've moved from wavering, pitiful acceptance to being full blown done and over him. I'm happy to be at the point of "when I'm done, I'm done."

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shiftedblue Established Member

shiftedblue

Posted
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You'll never have the relationship you once had with him (sorry) and to keep from having contact w him you need to remember that from now on, any bit of contact you have with him is only going to make you feel like total crap. He'll just act like a half assed jerk as well. Stick by your guns, you are handling this very well. If you do slip and break NC. don't beat yourself up. If your ex acts jerky enough, it will only serve to help you further disconnect.

 

I actually broke NC last night when my ex begged me to talk with him. He was such an a$$ that now I've moved from wavering, pitiful acceptance to being full blown done and over him. I'm happy to be at the point of "when I'm done, I'm done."

 

 

Ditto!! when I spoke with him on the phone last night, he actually started YELLING at me about how I was jealous when we were together, and how it pissed him off, and that was one of his reasons for not wanting to be back together immediately. So his yelling at me reminded me about how mean he was to me all the time...nothing like a flood of bad memories to make you want to keep that NC going :)

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