siuys Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Hi all, this is related to my 'So much for ending it' post. I find it easier to start new threads when something else new happens. It took a lot of self control to ignore the 4 sms, 2 phone calls, a flower outside my window indicating he's been round (I think I just missed him by a few minutes when I went to the shops). His messages ranged from casual, to desperate and mean, to kinder, more self reflective and understanding. I ignored them all. At the end of the day, nothing has changed, and despite a couple of small, unimportant details, he has told me nothing new. I told him clearly in my email. I guess he thought I was kidding, and that I will just put up with him stringing me along while he's supposedly sorting out his ****. I don't even know what that means anymore. For the first time in 9 months since I met him, I feel in control. I feel that if I really want to rid this from my life, I need to stand firm. Truth is, I have NOT written him out of my life, but I am getting close. If his actions remain the same, it will be EASY for me to rid him from my life. And for the first time, he knows how I must have felt. It's his turn to wonder what I am doing, if I have written him off, if I might still be there, if I still had feelings for him. Well, good. Payback time. I guess what i really want to say is that I feel stronger having done that yesterday. I am starting to really observe who he is, and not let my heart completely get in the way. Distance really does give you a different perspective, and silence really is good sometimes.
Confused4Now Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 At the end of the day, nothing has changed, and despite a couple of small, unimportant details, he has told me nothing new. I told him clearly in my email. I guess he thought I was kidding, and that I will just put up with him stringing me along while he's supposedly sorting out his ****. I don't even know what that means anymore. Just keep telling yourself. You want to believe he'll come through for you but as it's always been said....it's all about the ACTIONS. So until he's shown you papers it's the same ole sh_t!!!! STICK to your boundaries....
Author siuys Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 Thanks again for the reminder C4N. You're absolutely right. It's the same old, same old. Bla bla bla.
Hazyhead Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I'm also a fan of silence Good for you though,girl. You should be so proud of yourself for every second in which you grow stronger. I hope that others find inspiration in your posts, siuys.
OpenBook Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Oh, he's working it all right!! (I knew he would come back around with the "C'mon, you KNOW you want it" - oh, whatever!!) I'm glad you are sticking to your guns. With that golden silence you are telling him (and yourself) that you will no longer put up with bad behavior, from him or anyone else. EVER. It's just - not in your repertoire anymore. You don't have time for it. You're BUSY. :bunny:
4321sn Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Hmmmm interesting to see how he reacts when the tables are turned... Good for you!!!!
East7 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 . I am starting to really observe who he is, and not let my heart completely get in the way. Distance really does give you a different perspective, and silence really is good sometimes. That is the good effect of NC and the more you will keep the silence the more this effect will grow.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 There's a saying that says: In our silence He speaks for us.. (Haven't looked it up to see if it's scriptural) But I think it is very true. A person can do a lot of soul searching when just left to God. Also with NC you're not feeding the beast .. Or feeding the ego of someone who is merely using that outside relationship.
TigerCub Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Good for you Siuys!!! I'm so proud of you! And I'm so happy that you're getting a taste of that power, of feeling in control of your actions again. I'm there with you right now - and its a fantastic feeling! Stay strong and stick to your guns because at the end of the day, even if you never end up having him, at least you'll know that you have your dignity and your strength and you didn't settle for less than what you wanted! I'm so super proud of you
fooled once Posted November 13, 2010 Posted November 13, 2010 Hi all, this is related to my 'So much for ending it' post. I find it easier to start new threads when something else new happens. It took a lot of self control to ignore the 4 sms, 2 phone calls, a flower outside my window indicating he's been round (I think I just missed him by a few minutes when I went to the shops). His messages ranged from casual, to desperate and mean, to kinder, more self reflective and understanding. I ignored them all. At the end of the day, nothing has changed, and despite a couple of small, unimportant details, he has told me nothing new. I told him clearly in my email. I guess he thought I was kidding, and that I will just put up with him stringing me along while he's supposedly sorting out his ****. I don't even know what that means anymore. For the first time in 9 months since I met him, I feel in control. I feel that if I really want to rid this from my life, I need to stand firm. Truth is, I have NOT written him out of my life, but I am getting close. If his actions remain the same, it will be EASY for me to rid him from my life. And for the first time, he knows how I must have felt. It's his turn to wonder what I am doing, if I have written him off, if I might still be there, if I still had feelings for him. Well, good. Payback time. I guess what i really want to say is that I feel stronger having done that yesterday. I am starting to really observe who he is, and not let my heart completely get in the way. Distance really does give you a different perspective, and silence really is good sometimes. Hang onto that feeling. Distance does give you perspective and you begin to see that words are just that --- words. Without actions to back them up......
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