WildWildWest Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I've been seeing a guy for the past year now... In the begining we aggreed it wouldnt be a serious relationship since I had just got out of a terrible marriage and he had been really hurt by his previous relationship... over time I started to like him more and more... of course that was gonna happen right? a few months ago I told him that I should end everything because I felt like he didnt feel the same way I did... he seemed to have freaked out a bit actin as if he didnt want me to by acting like I never mentioned it.. he told me things could change.. so here I am months later and im really falling for him.. Im not good at expressing my feelings so I decided to write him a letter to tell him how much i liked him and how i wanted to get closer than we are now. how I would be willing to do whatever it takes to be with him and that i wasnt rushing anything i just wanted to know if he felt that it could become something more in the furture... I said its best that I kno now than further down the road.. well afte I gave him the letter... he calls me hours later and we talk for over 3 hours.. but he doesnt even mentioned anything bout my letter? Does that mean he doesnt feel the same way bout me? Was I supposed to ask him? I am really confused
FL Lady Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 What did you guys take about for 3 hours? That's nice BTW. If anything you have a great friend. I would ask him an open ended question in person about the letter. You can gauge his feelings better in person and through his body language. Say, very casually and when you have time to talk in person uninterrupted. - "so, what did you think about the letter I wrote you?" then there is no Yes or No answer.
Author WildWildWest Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 we talked bout any and everything... he told me about his firefighter stories.. we talked about work.. just alot of different things.. i can honestly say its the first time we had a long convo like that.. we usually just txt each other... I felt the convo went really well... and I felt like I should have asked him bout my letter but again I was affraid I guess... I kno he was pretty much hurt in the past.. Is he just scared that Im going to do the same to him? I really want to know how he feels about me. I guess Im just going to have to get the nerve up to ask.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 im really falling for him.. Im not good at expressing my feelings so I decided to write him a letter to tell him how much i liked him and how i wanted to get closer than we are now. how I would be willing to do whatever it takes to be with him and that i wasnt rushing anything i just wanted to know if he felt that it could become something more in the furture... I said its best that I kno now than further down the road.. well afte I gave him the letter... he calls me hours later and we talk for over 3 hours.. but he doesnt even mentioned anything bout my letter? Does that mean he doesnt feel the same way bout me? Was I supposed to ask him? I am really confused OK, if you are certain that he got the letter at point A, and that he called you at point B (after receiving the letter), AND that his call was in direct reaction TO the letter (even IF he didn't mention it directly)... then I suggest you sit back and believe that he IS INDEED open to putting greater potential on your relationship. Basically, guys DO tend to TELL YOU what they feel (sometimes you don't want to hear it, or don't hear it, but it is usually there and very clear). I sense that he has for some time been envisioning you as being a good long-term prospect AND the reason that he didn't mention the letter is because it didn't alter his feelings that way at all. (it proved to him that you are thinking somewhere along the lines of what he is thinking) (had you stated a position that found him upset by, or disagreeing with your position, THEN he would have addressed his concerns directly) As for now, you are perfectly allowed to say: "hey, I am still unclear as to how you felt about things I wrote in my letter, and I'd like to more clearly understand how you feel about our future."
Author WildWildWest Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 well... I told him that morning that I had something to give him when I seen him later on... I know he knew it was a letter since I have given him letters in the past.. and thats when he asked me what i was doing after work.. I told him nothing... so he said that when he got home he was going to call me.. now he said this BEFORE i gave him the letter... so when i seen him later on I gave him the letter... I felt then that if he didnt call me like he said he was going to do before the letter then he didnt feel the same way i did... he calls me several hours later.. which i was very shocked... he had a 3 hour convo but different things.. i can honestly say it was the first time he told me stories bout himself.. I guess u can say he kinda opened up a little.. but the fact that he didnt mention anything in the letter has me kinda confused... the past couple times I have written him he never commented on it either.. just his actions changed.. So im still wondering now if he feels the same or no.. I would think that I made it kinda clear that i was looking for something more and if he didnt feel the same way then he wouldnt continue on as if I didnt say anything and he would let me move on.. I really want to ask him if he read the letter but I dont wanna seem pushy either... he was screwed over in his last relationship and I kno he has a hard time trusting ppl... Im just trying to make it clear to him that I really like him, I want to be with him and im not going to hurt him.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 14, 2010 Posted November 14, 2010 OK, you gave him the letter. I didn't know it was a hand delivery. I think you can be hopeful, and you can be somewhat relieved to have communicated to him just how you feel. There is definitely something liberating about exposing your feelings to someone. (most of it is the vulnerability - but also, you don't have to hide or cover-up anymore)
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