Lakeside_runner Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 So, I'm having trouble differentiating between making a nice compliment to a girl and completely going overboard. Let's say you've been on a date, everything went awesome etc. Next morning you're noticing something that makes you think of your date in a quite unique way which (if I were a girl) would be a nice thing to hear. Do you keep that to yourself or do you let them know that they have crossed your mind? I don't want to be pushy/needy etc. I just think it's nice and shows some affection. I don't want to come off as cold anymore Opinions?
denise_xo Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I don't really have any good advice to give you but looking forward to more posts on this thread as I've struggled a bit with this. I'm naturally quite expressive of my feelings both verbally and physically, and know (and was explicitly told at one point) that it can come across as clingy. After this one guy told me to tone it down, I tried to restrain myself and tried to become a bit more conscious about how I expressed affection or how often/in what way I gave compliments. But I never really 'cracked any codes' because good feelings just seem to want to express themselves naturally for me and I don't have a good 'feel' for how to balance it. Luckily, most of the men I've been with have either not minded, or put up with it.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I don't have any real answers either .. Remember how they used to send flowers .. Even if you email her and tell her she was in your thoughts this morning.. Still people are so afraid of being discarded or hurt if the two aren't on the same accord. So I guess all your can do to continue to show her favour is to keep asking her out and eventually she will let you know how she feels .. so your can reciprocate your own feelings..
johan Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 You have to know what your motivation for complimenting her is. If it's just ass-kissing, then don't do it. If you think you're just trying to get some kind of response out of her (such as confirmation that she digs you, too), then don't do it. If you aren't sure what your motivation is, then don't do it. The best compliment you can give her is to appreciate her and spend time with her. Words aren't worth as much as actions. I think compliments are good things, but giving them too much cheapens them and reflects negatively on you more than positively on her. Treat them like they have a lot of value and save them for special occasions.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 You have to know what your motivation for complimenting her is. If it's just ass-kissing, then don't do it. If you think you're just trying to get some kind of response out of her (such as confirmation that she digs you, too), then don't do it. If you aren't sure what your motivation is, then don't do it. The best compliment you can give her is to appreciate her and spend time with her. Words aren't worth as much as actions. I think compliments are good things, but giving them too much cheapens them and reflects negatively on you more than positively on her. Treat them like they have a lot of value and save them for special occasions. Yeah, this was exactly my line of thinking. Thanks!
that girl Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Here's a story about compliments. One year my New Year's Resolution was to genuinely compliment at least one person every day. I had to actually mean it, but it could be anything- you did a great job with that, that top really brings out your eyes, I appreciate what a good listener you are. The reactions were really interesting, 99.9% of people lit up. Every once in awhile someone would feel uncomfortable, but my feeling was that it was usually the type of compliment rather than complimenting in general (looks based compliments can be awkward). Guys in particular seemed to really respond, though I was in a relationship not dating. The husband of one of my friends (then her boyfriend) has always sought me out at parties since then and I tend to think it is because the first time I met him I complimented him on how thoughtful he was (because he had done something really thoughtful for me). So I don't think compliments should be saved for special occasions. I try to give credit where credit is due. I think where some guys make mistakes is by drowning a girl in compliments that are all about her looks. Or talking about her body when he hasn't seen her naked. I'm not a big fan of that whole hold my face and say I have beautiful eyes thing because almost every guy I've ever kissed has done it. It feels like a line for a guy to follow the first kiss with "You have beautiful eyes." But that might just be me. I do have nice eyes.
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