Stormyweathergirl Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I need help. I feel like I am split in two. As I just don’t know anymore what is the right thing to do.Which way to go... Lets get the basics straight- I love my boyfirend, I can completely imagine myself growing old with him. He supports me, He cares for me. I think I do the same back. We share the same morals, the same ambitions. There is no one I would prefer to have on my side, to discuss a problem with. He still really makes me laugh. Sure we have issues; there are things that a less perfect but that is the way long term relationships are. So what is the problem? I’m 26 now and I’ve been with him since I was 19. That’s a lot of my young care free years but I’ve enjoyed it. Now things are getting more grown up and serious as expected. Until recently I was fine with that. I wanted a more adult, mature life. We've discussed babies and mortgages. It doesn’t seem fine anymore. Suddenly out of the blue I go to a party. A guy hits on me and though I liked him I turn him down – I would feel too guilty to do anything. Then the next day inside I feel different. This is not about that guy, I’ll never see him again but this new feeling has been awakened in me. I want to go on a first date again, I want to feel that spark when I touch someone for the first time, I want to feel wanted by someone other than my boyfriend. We are only young once and I want to use my looks before I lose my looks. I’ve only felt like this for a couple of days but it is a ridiculously, strong, intense feeling. My boyfriend can tell there is something up. Is it stupid to throw away something that is pretty great for a stupid impulsive – a longing for excitement? Our relationship is good, kind caring, supportive but its not exciting. There is not a lot of affection anymore -the chemistry has died a bit. But doesn’t the chemistry always die? That initial excitement can never stay alive. Isn’t that what a long term commitment is all about? So what do I do? Do I stay, do I go? I wish I could pause this relationship for 2 months and just go have some fun. Then unpause it again but life doesn’t work like that. How can I throw something I have worked on for so long and is so important to me for such a new possibly fleeting feeling? We have also just signed a year lease on a flat together and we have cat. Help me – I’m going insane. Any advice or similar experiences....
hydorclops Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 It sounds like a pretty tough situation. Also it's ordinary and human. You could plan to focus in on your relationship, for now, like a month or something and see how it goes. If you remain conflicted, you could find a family counselor or therapist to help you work everything out.
utterer of lies Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 So what do I do? Do I stay, do I go? I wish I could pause this relationship for 2 months and just go have some fun. Then unpause it again but life doesn’t work like that. How can I throw something I have worked on for so long and is so important to me for such a new possibly fleeting feeling? Break up with him and live a bit. If you still feel he is right for you after a few months of not being together anymore, marry him. If you just give up and stay with him, you will always regret it. Wonder what could have been, what should have been.
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