A conversation i had that startled me

[Capris]

man : "Ive been fooling around for years, but if you ask my wife, she totally trusts me. I even say to my son, do whatever you want as long as the wife doesnt find out....All men cheat, unless they are stupid...I dont have a problem if my son in law cheats on my daughter.....As weird as it sounds and stupid, i honor my wife to the fullest.....". When asked what will happen if she finds out: "she will definantly forgive me..."

 

He has the classic theory: "not guilty, till caught" "honorble man, till caught"

 

How stupid and irresponsable is that?

 

Im sure the "honored to the fullest" wife knows about some of his "adventures"...why do they still stay?

 

I think its partially our fault (women). The way they raised us to treat men like kings etc..I think its still in our DNA, the "women musnt have an opinion" theory, developed in the middle age or something.

 

I also think that men nor women are able to follow there logic mind 100% and we still cling to our basic instincts. Till we get those two balanced, there will always be cheating.

 

What per cent of couples do you think have never cheated on each other?

Im about 30 and have already lost hope in relationships. Am i too romantic or just a realistic-pessimist person?

[Carrot2000]

I wonder if how your friend would feel if his wife cheated on him? Do the same rules apply?

[Spark1111]

man : "Ive been fooling around for years, but if you ask my wife, she totally trusts me. I even say to my son, do whatever you want as long as the wife doesnt find out....All men cheat, unless they are stupid...I dont have a problem if my son in law cheats on my daughter.....As weird as it sounds and stupid, i honor my wife to the fullest.....". When asked what will happen if she finds out: "she will definantly forgive me..."

 

He has the classic theory: "not guilty, till caught" "honorble man, till caught"

 

How stupid and irresponsable is that?

 

Im sure the "honored to the fullest" wife knows about some of his "adventures"...why do they still stay?

 

I think its partially our fault (women). The way they raised us to treat men like kings etc..I think its still in our DNA, the "women musnt have an opinion" theory, developed in the middle age or something.

 

I also think that men nor women are able to follow there logic mind 100% and we still cling to our basic instincts. Till we get those two balanced, there will always be cheating.

 

What per cent of couples do you think have never cheated on each other?

Im about 30 and have already lost hope in relationships. Am i too romantic or just a realistic-pessimist person?

 

I think this is just justification and pure Bulldonkey from an arrogant, self-entitled cake-eating bas***d!

 

The most recent data suggests that the myth of more than 50 Percent of men cheating is exactly that --- a myth! It is much lower.

 

The newest stats being studied is the increasing number of women cheating.

 

It's more like close to one-third of married couples.

 

Some men grow up in cultures, families or even under-educated peer groups that condone the acceptability of cheating. "If the wife doesn't know it can't hurt her." Wrong!

 

Infidelity always takes away from the marital and familial relationship in either time, financial resources and emotional investment.

 

Until these Don Juans get caught and see the devastating pain of betrayal, the shock and tears in the eyes of their women and children, they can hold onto their Neanderthal beliefs.

 

And as women continue to gain in economic autonomy with returning to work and making their own dime, they will throw these guys over in a heartbeat.

 

The world, for women, is changing drastically. Many no longer have to depend on a man for financial survival. They no longer have to "look the other way" on a man's outside sexual dalliances.

 

Many undereducated men, or men from very traditional cultures, intentionally try to keep their women home having babies in an effort to keep them financially dependent on them.

 

Educated, independent women who make their own money, have the freedom to choose if they will stay or not.

 

It is ALL about the balance of power.

[Spark1111]

I wonder if how your friend would feel if his wife cheated on him? Do the same rules apply?

 

 

Carrot, love it!

 

These same philanderers who feel so entitled are the WORST responders if their spouse should cheat on them!

 

Their over-inflated macho egos COULD NEVER handle that. They are so rigid in their gender role identifications.

 

They always operate under the assumption that she could never be allowed to do what I do, and/or she WOULD never do that....so no worry there.

 

Trust me, this world view is so rigid that these guys would fall completely apart if their spouse cheated on them.

[Spark1111]

Capris, as an anecdote:

 

Know someone who cheated on his wife repeatedly.

 

He needed a lot of attention and a certain sexual act she was uncomfortable with.

 

One day his daughter, whom he adored, discovered her fiance in their bed with another woman.

 

His daughter was devastated and out of her mind: lost weight, couldn't stop crying, almost had a breakdown. In fact, she demanded Daddy come and help her throw out THAT bed the next day and help purchase a new one.

 

He could not escape his daughter's pain for months as she turned to him for solace.

 

It was about time. Seeing the pain first hand and having to be a source of comfort taught him what a hypocrite he was.

 

He reformed, big time.

[UnifiedFieldTheory]

It's simple to understand that kind of person.

 

 

so·ci·o·path   

 

–noun Psychiatry .

a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

[Capris]

I wonder if how your friend would feel if his wife cheated on him? Do the same rules apply?

 

See this is where the weirdest part comes in...

I asked him the same. He said, "we are in this marriage for so many years, im simply bored. I dont know if she has done the same or is doing the same. Im sure she has not though"

 

He said all this with an evil and....whats the word? Not clever, but stupid clever... Like he is rightful of what he is doing cause his wife MAY have done the same, so this somehow gives him all the right in the world...

 

Of course as some OP said in this thread, he would kill her if she had done something like that.

 

I hate it when people hide behind something so unrealistic.

"I have the right to cheat, cause my partner MAY have cheated on me, she/he has all the right to do it to, but if i find out i will kill her/him"

 

I hope i got described the disgusting feeling right to you guys. I felt horrible hearing this.

 

@spark111 : lovely post, and hopeful! Not the part of the women cheating so much but even that is a change!

 

So its about the power balance huh? :/

Why oh why do we always have to do it for the ego?

 

I think what i have in mind is a spiritual balance. Then again, would it really be so cool to be so calm about your relationship? No jealousy , no reasons to be afraid, no fights etc etc..I guess it would be nice only if we were at that spot..

 

Anywayz...I just hate the "not guilty till charged"

I heard from another guy this : "if my wife catched me, i wouldnt be able to look her in the eye at the table" ....Im like "who told you , you would be eating at the family table after that?"

 

I think the fact that they have never been caught makes them feel unbeatable and justifies their acts more for them...Weird.

[oxfordsocks]

All the statistics are out there on cheating--just look up any internet site on it.

woman are more forgiving than men. I hate this--I hate the man that you heard say this--he does not repect or love his spouse--and I am sure that if he ever caught his son in law screwing another woman he would hang him by his balls.

I feel sorry for his daughter that he doesn't think she deserves an honest and faithful spouse.

I saw yesterday on Oprah--Geraldo who has been married 4 times--he says that he has finally (his fifth wife of at least 5 years or more now) learned what is means to be a HUSBAND-a faithful husband.

there is a double standard all over the bloody world--polygamy---where is there a society where woman have 5 husbands??? The Middle East etc... Even that recent show with the polygamist man with the 4/5 wives when the one wife was discussing her jealousy --she asked him how he would feel (be in her shoes) if she was with other men--he says--"that is disgusting and sinfull etc...." WTF???!!!

Where is all this crap learned???? WE've come a long way baby ....that phrase ....well as woman we have still a LONG LONG WAY TO GO. Or should i say as a society.

[Capris]

I too am as mad as you are.

 

I hate the men that also say "its a mans thing"

Well its not a mans thing, its a woman's thing too, its just that women know men cant handle it and dont say anything. Or used to not say anything.

 

But when a woman cheats, she's a whore, when a man cheats, its an accomplishment!

WTF?

 

On the other hand, im an imposter too. Or not? Does acts always have to follow beliefs? Or do they always do, its just that no one can prove it?How much of an "honorable" person am i when i am "hating" this man while im in an A with a MM?

 

Why do my beliefs sound so right, though my acts are different?

Sometimes i just hate myself.

[Carrot2000]

My cousin left his wife for another woman and had the nerve to get angry when she started seeing another man-hilarious!

 

Two of my aunts had affairs that produced children and their husbands didn't leave; any other man would have been long gone. My uncle was unemployed, violent, and gave his wife a STD and she still took him back multiple times after he cheated. I have a cousin that was arrested behind his involvement with a girl he was cheating with in their home and had to call his girlfriend to bail him out. Guess what? She bailed him out and they're still together.

 

As you can see, I come from a long line of cheaters! I think the key to them being able to continue to be unfaithful is that they seem to have a knack for picking partners that are tolerant/forgiving of their behavior. They have some kind of radar that points them in the direction of someone who is needy and has no self-esteem; these jokers wouldn't bother with a man/woman who was confident, independent and felt good about themselves.

[ladydesigner]

I wonder if how your friend would feel if his wife cheated on him? Do the same rules apply?

 

This is great:lmao::lmao: I think my H thought the same thing when he was cheating on me. Too bad he doesn't know I've had my own RA (not recommended by the way).

[pureinheart]

I think this is just justification and pure Bulldonkey from an arrogant, self-entitled cake-eating bas***d!

 

The most recent data suggests that the myth of more than 50 Percent of men cheating is exactly that --- a myth! It is much lower.

 

The newest stats being studied is the increasing number of women cheating.

 

It's more like close to one-third of married couples.

 

Some men grow up in cultures, families or even under-educated peer groups that condone the acceptability of cheating. "If the wife doesn't know it can't hurt her." Wrong!

 

Infidelity always takes away from the marital and familial relationship in either time, financial resources and emotional investment.

 

Until these Don Juans get caught and see the devastating pain of betrayal, the shock and tears in the eyes of their women and children, they can hold onto their Neanderthal beliefs.

 

And as women continue to gain in economic autonomy with returning to work and making their own dime, they will throw these guys over in a heartbeat.

 

The world, for women, is changing drastically. Many no longer have to depend on a man for financial survival. They no longer have to "look the other way" on a man's outside sexual dalliances.

 

Many undereducated men, or men from very traditional cultures, intentionally try to keep their women home having babies in an effort to keep them financially dependent on them.

 

Educated, independent women who make their own money, have the freedom to choose if they will stay or not.

 

It is ALL about the balance of power.

 

Spark, I have heard this statement OP, (maybe not in these words, but same intent) from many men. I was "one of the guys", so they I guess forgot that I was around and that's why they were so open (real).

 

Even my ex taught my son in a sense..."that's my boy"...you know, the whole mancave thing. I can't even begin to tell you how this "mancave" attitude has hurt my son...my daughter and I are trying to turn this around. No offence to the guys that use their mancave thinking the way it is meant to...I respect the men and their privacy (the need to do guy things). I love men to be men, although there is that macho crap that I can't handle...thin line I guess?

 

I find (which shocked me as I always handled the finances) that more men and women are "separating" their finances...he pays this, she pays this and the rest is theirs to do with as they please..this new way of doing business means that nothing is being taken away from the family.

[Mimolicious]

See this is where the weirdest part comes in...

I asked him the same. He said, "we are in this marriage for so many years, im simply bored. I dont know if she has done the same or is doing the same. Im sure she has not though"

 

 

 

Right! I am sure she feels all hot and heavy and drooling about him, since he is loaded with thrills. Or is that the poolboy?

[112233]

Well women get a payout when they indulge their propensity for serial hypergamy, I wonder what would happen if the government tried to enforce a similar reward for men indulging in their own form of genetic optimization.

[Mimolicious]

Well women get a payout when they indulge their propensity for serial hypergamy, I wonder what would happen if the government tried to enforce a similar reward for men indulging in their own form of genetic optimization.

 

 

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

[Spark1111]

Right! I am sure she feels all hot and heavy and drooling about him, since he is loaded with thrills. Or is that the poolboy?

 

Women are more forgiving because a man having sex with another woman does not destroy us as it would it a man. They are very visual and rarely can they overcome the non-stop mind movies of their wife being f***d by another man to even consider forgiveness.

 

Woman are destroyed by a man emotionally investing in another woman. If the man ends his affair and begins to emotionally invest, once again with her, yeah she will forgive.

 

And that right there is the double standard. What was good for the gander, is never good for the goose....

 

Until recently......

[Woggle]

What about us guys who never cheated in their lives yet still were betrayed. Do you think we deserve it or not? Be honest about it too. Do you get some type of satisfaction out of seeing it?

[NorthBound]

man : "Ive been fooling around for years, but if you ask my wife, she totally trusts me. I even say to my son, do whatever you want as long as the wife doesnt find out....All men cheat, unless they are stupid...I dont have a problem if my son in law cheats on my daughter.....As weird as it sounds and stupid, i honor my wife to the fullest.....". When asked what will happen if she finds out: "she will definantly forgive me..."

 

He has the classic theory: "not guilty, till caught" "honorble man, till caught"

 

How stupid and irresponsable is that?

 

Im sure the "honored to the fullest" wife knows about some of his "adventures"...why do they still stay?

 

I think its partially our fault (women). The way they raised us to treat men like kings etc..I think its still in our DNA, the "women musnt have an opinion" theory, developed in the middle age or something.

 

I also think that men nor women are able to follow there logic mind 100% and we still cling to our basic instincts. Till we get those two balanced, there will always be cheating.

 

What per cent of couples do you think have never cheated on each other?

Im about 30 and have already lost hope in relationships. Am i too romantic or just a realistic-pessimist person?

 

Maybe it's California but it's hard to imagine women raised to treat men like kings haha... I've personally listened to a mother of an ex saying the exact same things. It's almost flipped here unless you act like that selfish son of a bitch. The majority of men that treat their women like that, tend to keep finding more interested in them.

I just replied to another post on men being sensitive and how often it turns off women...

 

The majority of women love dominance... whether or not they are getting treated well, told the truth, or cheated on is a completley different story...

Sickening from a young male's perspective

[112233]

Woman are destroyed by a man emotionally investing in another woman. If the man ends his affair and begins to emotionally invest, once again with her, yeah she will forgive.

 

I've never done it, but ...

 

My GF has said that during the times when we were apart I could if I wanted "have other women" but I couldn't have other GFs. She's pretty remarkable though.

[Carrot2000]

What about us guys who never cheated in their lives yet still were betrayed. Do you think we deserve it or not? Be honest about it too. Do you get some type of satisfaction out of seeing it?

 

I get no pleasure out of seeing a good man getting dogged. It sickens me, actually.

[pureinheart]

Maybe it's California but it's hard to imagine women raised to treat men like kings haha... I've personally listened to a mother of an ex saying the exact same things. It's almost flipped here unless you act like that selfish son of a bitch. The majority of men that treat their women like that, tend to keep finding more interested in them.

I just replied to another post on men being sensitive and how often it turns off women...

 

The majority of women love dominance... whether or not they are getting treated well, told the truth, or cheated on is a completley different story...

Sickening from a young male's perspective

 

In bold, gotta agree with you. Now I've always treated my men good, till they piss me off:D

[flying]

What about us guys who never cheated in their lives yet still were betrayed. Do you think we deserve it or not? Be honest about it too. Do you get some type of satisfaction out of seeing it?

 

It infuriates me regardless of which gender is doing the cheating. When I found out that a formerly good (female) friend of mine was unapologetically cheating on her husband, I was disgusted and sincerely hoped he would leave her. He did.

[2sure]

First...do not assume that the wife has any inkling of someone's affairs. Thats just not a given. Thats why she stays.

 

And next - I know these men. They think they are superior and clever and even giving until they get caught. They say their wives will get over it....but when they get caught, in the privacy of their marriage...

Trust me, the bravado is GONE. They cry, they plead, they beg, they say they cant go on....if the wife stays, more often than not...its because he has convinced HER he cant make it without her...not the other way around.

[ReturnToSender]

Though he was just my bf.... everyone thought I knew and was one of those girls...that is until I found out and all hell broke loose. He was taking her out, had her around friends, even home to his family. And I know he thought that even if I found out that I would still stay, it was a shock to him (and everyone else) when I found out and reacted the way I did.

 

Definitely dont assume she knows...I just trusted him totally. And he learned that I definitely would not turn a blind eye... I do think, if this guy thought his wife would still stay, then why hide it? If he really felt there was no consequences to his actions, he wouldnt care if she knew or not. Hes rationalizing. And for sure hed freak out if he found out she was cheating.

 

My ex told me the other night, if the tables were turned and it was me that had cheated on him, he gets a panic attack just thinking about it. He doesnt even like knowing I had started dating again after our breakup...freaks him out.

[pureinheart]

What about us guys who never cheated in their lives yet still were betrayed. Do you think we deserve it or not? Be honest about it too. Do you get some type of satisfaction out of seeing it?

 

Who are you talking to?