Perplexed81 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 in 2 days it will be officially 60 days since I've seen her or spoke to her on the phone and 20 days without any contact. Its starting to flushout of my system that much I can tell and its getting to the point where I don't think about her as much. While I'm awake all is well but it seems that I don't look forward to sleeping anymore though because of the fact that she's now haunting me in my dreams. its now grown to about 4 nights a week that I have these gut wrenching dreams about her with other men and just the worst that you can think of. These are extremely graphic and vivid. I do however feel rested upon waking up. I've cut my drinking down by more than 75% and I'm eating great, all is well while I'm awake. Anyone else going through something similar?
bl22 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 in 2 days it will be officially 60 days since I've seen her or spoke to her on the phone and 20 days without any contact. Its starting to flushout of my system that much I can tell and its getting to the point where I don't think about her as much. While I'm awake all is well but it seems that I don't look forward to sleeping anymore though because of the fact that she's now haunting me in my dreams. its now grown to about 4 nights a week that I have these gut wrenching dreams about her with other men and just the worst that you can think of. These are extremely graphic and vivid. I do however feel rested upon waking up. I've cut my drinking down by more than 75% and I'm eating great, all is well while I'm awake. Anyone else going through something similar? I have, going on around a month NC, had so many heartbreaking dreams about her and the guy shes left me for its horrible. On a positive note last night I dreamt i got with someone new, I dont know this person but least it didnt involved her!
brown03 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Mine aren't exactly like that I dream almost every night that I get back with her and we make up. And it sucks because ill wake up thinking it's true and be in my bed and then when I fall asleep I have another one. Goes like this pretty much the whole night it really sucks.
bl22 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Yeah ive had the making up dreams too. You know what...whilst we was together, it was HER who used to have the bad dreams of me cheating or going off with someone else...it was HER who used to be paranoid about that and get worried. I always reasured her when she'd have a bad dream and you could tell she'd get upset crying when 1 would happen.....now shes gone and done this FOR REAL!! God i hope she realises the hypocrisy
Ajax Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 During the first six weeks or so after the breakup I had dreams almost every night about my ex with someone else (nights when I did sleep at least). They were really graphic and I'd wake up in tears. Mornings I'd vomit. It was pretty bad. Now I still dream about her two or three times a week but they're not about her with anyone else. I do have "making up" dreams, and sometimes I wake up upset, but nowhere near as bad as a few weeks ago. Things will get better, believe that. It's hard enough to stop your concious mind from thinking about her, darn near impossible to get the subconcious to let her go.
Fern Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Been there. I dreamt about him every night for the first two months. Woke up exhausted and emotionally drained. Suffered insomnia and anxiety, threw up every morning I was so anxious all the time. Cried nearly everyday - including 3 times in front of my boss. I thought I was losing my mind. 3 months on - I sleep like a log again. In fact, my sleeping patterns are probably better now than they've been in years. Have gone back to not remembering my dreams. This too will pass. Stick with the NC. It WILL get better. xx
Author Perplexed81 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Fern: yes as well know the ole saying "THIS TOO SHALL PASS", but such a realist that i've seen these things before and I know than even the most evil of women have a soft spot somewhere and it will come that day when I hear my phone go off and VIOLA, a message from YOU KNOW WHO! Then all of a sudden all the work, all that time that has passed suddenly all swarm down to the pit of your stomach and you get butterflies and just stare at your phone wondering what in the world to do with this thing called a cell phone in your hand. Its funny how that ringtone can change everything in a split second.
Coolsbreeze Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 2 months after the breakup and every night as long as i can remember i have at least one dream about her. Sometimes they're good, like me marrying her and sharing a wonderful life together, and sometimes they're bad, like her sleeping with her new boyfriend. I probably would be in much better shape had she not left me for that other guy, but it happened and now i'm suffering the consequences. One thing is certain is that every time I dream about her it makes getting up in the morning so damn hard and unbearable. Because i realize what I've truly lost and there's no power in this world to bring her back to me.
Am4Real Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Realistically speaking…keep on working the healing process (it does take time) and when the next best “one” comes along you’ll be living in a DREAM everyday armed with the lessons you’ve learned from the past. And that my friends is life… Hang tough.
Fern Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 2 months after the breakup and every night as long as i can remember i have at least one dream about her. Sometimes they're good, like me marrying her and sharing a wonderful life together, and sometimes they're bad, like her sleeping with her new boyfriend. I probably would be in much better shape had she not left me for that other guy, but it happened and now i'm suffering the consequences. One thing is certain is that every time I dream about her it makes getting up in the morning so damn hard and unbearable. Because i realize what I've truly lost and there's no power in this world to bring her back to me. I felt like this too for a long time. Part of me still feels like this, but I've done a lot of thinking and the fact that our exes acted like complete *******s in this way has its benefits. In the long run, it'll actually make them easier to get over. What sort of ******* strings someone along when they're obviously already emotionally 'checked out' of the relationship? What sort of pathethic no mark coward who can't stand on their own two feet needs to be with someone THAT badly that they have to line up the next victim before they but you loose? I don't know about you, but my ex is no great loss. If I hadn't found out about his little affair, he'd have kept me there paying his bills and supporting him emotionally until the novelty of this fling wore off or until they were caught by myself or ny her fiancee. I felt HORRIBLE for a few months there, really down on myself and wondered what was wrong with me that he could prefer her. It was a serious body-blow to my ego - and THAT'S why you feel so bad right now. When you start to recover a bit and think more logically you'll realise there's NOTHING wring with you. She's the one with the problem. I wouldn't treat a DOG the way my ex treated me. He's not a good person and I'm well rid of him. I'm not saying he's evil - I'm just saying he's not the kind of person I want anymore. I can do better. You'll get there.
Nemicron Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Dude I really know what your going through I still get dreams and everything about my ex. And I'm still bothered by the things she did and everything. If there is any help I can offer please let me know. in 2 days it will be officially 60 days since I've seen her or spoke to her on the phone and 20 days without any contact. Its starting to flushout of my system that much I can tell and its getting to the point where I don't think about her as much. While I'm awake all is well but it seems that I don't look forward to sleeping anymore though because of the fact that she's now haunting me in my dreams. its now grown to about 4 nights a week that I have these gut wrenching dreams about her with other men and just the worst that you can think of. These are extremely graphic and vivid. I do however feel rested upon waking up. I've cut my drinking down by more than 75% and I'm eating great, all is well while I'm awake. Anyone else going through something similar?
Coolsbreeze Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 I felt like this too for a long time. Part of me still feels like this, but I've done a lot of thinking and the fact that our exes acted like complete *******s in this way has its benefits. In the long run, it'll actually make them easier to get over. What sort of ******* strings someone along when they're obviously already emotionally 'checked out' of the relationship? What sort of pathethic no mark coward who can't stand on their own two feet needs to be with someone THAT badly that they have to line up the next victim before they but you loose? I don't know about you, but my ex is no great loss. If I hadn't found out about his little affair, he'd have kept me there paying his bills and supporting him emotionally until the novelty of this fling wore off or until they were caught by myself or ny her fiancee. I felt HORRIBLE for a few months there, really down on myself and wondered what was wrong with me that he could prefer her. It was a serious body-blow to my ego - and THAT'S why you feel so bad right now. When you start to recover a bit and think more logically you'll realise there's NOTHING wring with you. She's the one with the problem. I wouldn't treat a DOG the way my ex treated me. He's not a good person and I'm well rid of him. I'm not saying he's evil - I'm just saying he's not the kind of person I want anymore. I can do better. You'll get there. Thanks for the advice! it's good to know that some people have experienced this and gotten through it okay. I think I can honestly say that when she did this to me it was personally the worst experience i have ever felt in my entire life. It's like all those wonderful times that we shared together meant nothing to her. Granted she didn't literally cheat on me but she was already checked out of that relationship when she started talking to her new boyfriend more and more while she was still involved with me. I would never wish this kind of pain or a broken heart to even my worst enemy. No one deserves this kind of character bashing or humiliation by the person that was supposed to love them. In the beginning of the breakup my ego definitely took a hit. That's why it hurts so much dreaming about her because it reminds me of the outcome of the relationship and how it ended. She didn't just dump me she replaced me for someone else and that I will always remember.
broken19 Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 What you wrote above is all I have been thinking about..this pain is something I would never ever wish on anyone! And as for dreams, just like everyone else here I have been having dreams about my ex for two months now..every night. Every morning I feel like throwing up, I am afraid to sleep, can't believe a person could do this to another human being without any explanation except I can't do this relationship. But just like any LS members here I have to go through each day painfully and hope it ends or becomes less one day. I will let you know when the pain gets less and dreams become less frequent. All I can say that some moments are better than others but it all depends on who we are and how and how much we have been hurt and how strong we are to move on. Obviously the ones who no longer want us are very strong to move on! Guess they never really loved us. Who knows! Give it a few months. But be patient. All I want is for him to come back to me but then I realise I really don't want to be in a relationship with him...he was just too much work...it's just we are hurt and we have no answers that we want them back. Once we realise how miserable the relationship will be if we get back with our ex we will be ok to move on. Good luck:)
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