yazz23 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Hey so I'm new to this board and definitely struggling with what to do. I had been friends with this guy over several months and built a fun relationship. We both had so much in common, more in common than I can honestly say I have ever had with another human being. The connection was instant. We both shared the same views on life and same interests and emotionally connected on a similiar level. Over a few months of working together we were pretty chill with each other. I had a crush on him all summer and knew he had a gf so I backed off. Long story short, I went back to school this semester and while I was gone friends told me he had a crush on me all summer as well. It was great! So after a couple of weeks of communicating back and forth, he fessed up and told me his feelings and said he was confused because he was with someone but couldn't stop thinking about me. I let him know that he has a gf and we couldn't hang out exclusively as this would completely disrespect her. Later on, we got together. IT was awesome, things were gonna good for a week until he saw his ex one day. That night he didn't answer my phone call and when I had asked him to go to a party with me, he said he had "plans". To conclude all this the next morning I woke up to a message and status change on facebook telling me I was single. I have never felt so hurt. Mainly because I feel that he lied to me to about caring about me and telling me his ex was completely wrong for him, and then lying to me that he wanted to be single, which in reality he wanted his ex back. This behavior is so unlike him it was scary. Everyone that I knew that knew him, said he had been acting strange. Anyways, it's been 6 weeks since the break up and I hate to say that I miss him. I went to a concert the other night that we had planned to go together and I wanted nothing more than to text him telling him I wish we could be friends. Despite all the hurt and pain, I feel like there's more to this story than what I got. I feel like something happened and I'm not getting all the input, because it doesn't remotely seem something he would do. I would have thought no matter what we would be friends. Should I text him asking about being friends? everyone is saying to not text him, but I feel like things are still unresolved and I want some closure. I feel lf I don't reach out to him I might regret it, but I don't want to seem desperate. Everyone keeps asking why I would wanna be friends with someone like him, but it's more than that. My gut says something else happened and he didn't tell me the whole story, and that there's an explanation for everything. Please help! I don't know if I should contact him!
fabio10 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Ouch..sorry you are going through this, you seem really nice maybe even too nice . How long is he with this ex ? I know you are trying to figure out his sudden change of attitude but you cant, none of us can tell why our exs changed from being a great person into some ice block over night, the fact he is back with his ex is all the closure you need, he handled your trust and emotions like a piece of thrash and YOU MUST CONVINCE YOURSELF that you deserve better much better please forget him, he used you, we are all here for you !
Author yazz23 Posted November 12, 2010 Author Posted November 12, 2010 Thanks, btw. He was with his ex almost 5 months before we got together. I haven't dated in a while and he knew that. My boyfriend before this cheated on me and that was a disaster( despite the fact that now we are good friends). I guess I just don't understand how you can go from being so nice and genuine, to then being a complete ass in less than 24 hrs( and dump someone on facebook). I feel everything was a cruel joke. I know the relationship lasted only a short while (a week) but it was they way it ended and how everything happened that hurt. I know he cheated on me, deep down that's what I think happened. I have been attempting to do better, but I feel dumb for still feeling hurt and feel my self-esteem has majorly plummeted.
fabio10 Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Don't feel dumb, this is no reflection of you it is him, you gave him your trust and he betrayed it, this is his problem, what age is he ? Just look at the bigger picture everyone has to meet afew duds before you find that guy that is waiting out there for you ! Life is short hun LIVE things could be alot worse think of the positive and dont try to even befriend this last guy he dose not deserve it ! I know in your head you are going through all the 'what ifs' but he did you a favour showing you his true colours now rather than later down the road !
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