just1guy Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 (edited) Sorry for the long post... Lived with my ex up until last august when she wanted to move out. After that, we tried to still date, but she ended it right before Christmas last year. During that time of living apart, I had received mail addressed to her and told her to change her address (something you'd think it would be high on the priority list)...which she said okay. Fast forward to early this year and I'd still get some mail addressed to her. They were basically credit card statements and mail from her college. I sent them back as "no longer at address, return to sender" and since the beginning of summer, and I thought it was over. Now, I've started to get mail for her from one of her credit cards and still her college again... I can't fathom to understand why anyone would not be worried about not getting their statements or college financial aid stuff. I'm pretty OCD when it comes to stuff like money, bills, and personal records and really thought this was a joke at first. I'm tired of sending back mail and think that it's not my responsibility to have to call these places to let them know, so is it wrong that I just trash everything going forward? I asked a friend and she said to send her one email telling her to change her address and give her a deadline before I start trashing stuff. The thing is, I took the breakup pretty hard, seen a therapist, been NC the whole time (even after she texted me seven months ago to say she was sorry) and don't think I should have to be the one to make the effort to clean her mess. Oh, and as I was cleaning out my file cabinet, I noticed that she also left her W2, past bank/credit card statements, and birth certificate here before she moved out so I am contemplating trashing that as well. What should I do? Edited November 11, 2010 by just1guy
Arabella Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Oh, and as I was cleaning out my file cabinet, I noticed that she also left her W2, past bank/credit card statements, and birth certificate here before she moved out so I am contemplating trashing that as well. What should I do? I know that you want to get rid of these things, but her birth certificate is a very important document. She may just have forgotten that she left it there, and she hasn't needed it since, so she hasn't noticed it missing. Don't destroy it. Just put the documents worth saving in an envelope and send it to her. Trash everything else that isn't important nor relevant. You don't need to speak to her to do so. Arabella
PegNosePete Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 (edited) I would warn against trashing it. If it's an unpaid credit card (or other) bill still arriving at your house, she might default on the payments, and it'll go to a collection agency. You will be sent final demands, court summons and possibly even bailiffs knocking on your door. And they will not take "she doesn't live here" as an excuse. It will also start hitting her credit record, which will affect your credit because it's your address. You could be prevented from getting new bank accounts, credit cards, buying furniture on credit, new mortgage or re-mortgaging for a better rate, etc. Trash the junk mail. That is virtually impossible to stop. I still get junk for my previous ex who moved out 6 years ago, and sometimes the previous house owners from 10 years ago. Anything else, return to sender. Or if you've got her address, call the company and give her new address. Yeah it's not your job, but it's much less hassle than losing your credit rating. Edited November 11, 2010 by PegNosePete
paleblue Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 The mail, chuck it. The W2 and birth certificate, mail it to her. Dont bother writing a letter with it all. Just sent it. Done.
WTRanger Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 If you need to contact your ex to get her new address to send the W2's and birth certificate, then do so. Keep it really simple and only ask for the new address. Better yet, is there a mutual friend or family member you can contact to pass this stuff to? Once you get her address, mail her the documents only. Then log onto the USPS website, fill out a forward mail form with her new address and her mail will automatically get forwarded to her. Yes, it's some work on your part but it's better than constantly having to deal with getting her crap in the mail. You can't simply chuck someone's mail, it's illegal. It's considered tampering with the mail delivery process and it's a federal offense. You think this is a problem now, what if the worst case the Feds get involved? Believe me, I'd love to turn the Feds loose on an ex or two.
Author just1guy Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 (edited) Thanks for the advice..I did not know about it having the potential to mess up my credit, so I'll just have to bite the bullet and email her to remind her to change her address since I don't even know where she moved off to. Edited November 12, 2010 by just1guy
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