beyondhope Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I posted a couple days ago about a first date with a guy I met online. His online profile made him seem like the perfect match, but in person there were a few things that set off warning bells. I ran those past y'all in the last post, followed today by a check-in with my counselor, who agreed that his behavior in person seemed strange and inappropriate. So, even though he sent me an email last night making sure we were "on" for our second date (and sending me some really flattering compliments), I sent him a message tonight saying thank you, but telling him I'd decided to decline. Well, now I'm sitting here seriously second guessing myself. It's the same feeling you get right after getting a new tattoo--I can't reverse my decision. I can't say, "whoops! I meant I actually do want a second date!". I guess that the fact it's over and done with is what's really getting me down. I keep thinking about all the things I was hopeful about before we met, and how I was sure he was going to be a perfect match. I keep thinking that I should have given him that second chance to redeem himself, even though some of the things he said on the first date (namely, "sometimes I lie just to see if someone will catch me in it") were things I don't think any self-respecting woman would second guess. Thoughts? Help? Support? I'm tired of being single...I feel like my dating record is a broken record
utterer of lies Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Thoughts? Help? Support? I'm tired of being single...I feel like my dating record is a broken record Go set up a date with a random someone else.
TaraMaiden Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Never doubt your intuition. Always doubt your logic. Your intuition is invariably spot-on. Logic has a habit of being riddled with a whole load of flaws. You made the right decision. I get what you mean about being tired of not dating.... but look at dating as the fun part of socialising, not as the ultimate goal of having an everlasting SO.
welikeincrowds Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 You're just mourning the loss of what you wished could be. This guy got your hopes up, and he disappointed you. I wish I could say "You'll stop doing that," because relationships are about the special thing between you and this particular person, right? And not the image of what a relationship is supposed to look and feel like? But the problem is that we all know what happiness feels like. This is really very normal. When you sleep on it you'll be glad you didn't let your disappointment overcome your better judgment.
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