People need to learn to just let go

[GivenUp0083]

Consider this a tirade, but I think it's well deserved considering all the ridiculous posts people make, and it seems that people are TOO focused on dating or finding "the one".

 

I honestly believe in all my heart that these games, intuition, flakes, bad dates, are all self inflicted and aren't worth 5 minutes, let alone the weeks/months/years of stress that is included when dating. I can't bring this home enough: IF YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE YOU WILL FIND EACH OTHER NATURALLY. There won't be asking out, there won't be dates, there won't be late texts and reading into them, and there won't be dating profiles. All of these headaches/heartaches are completely unneccessary.

 

I've played baseball almost all my life, and I see meeting women or meeting the right girl as a HOME RUN. What happens in baseball if you swing for the fences every time? You strike out time and time again. But if you just go with it, have fun at the plate, continue on with your daily life and make solid contact with the ball, once in a while it will go out of the park and you didn't even try to. I hardly know any players who hit a home run when they actually tried to do it. Doesn't happen like that.

 

I've been through all this dating bull**** and I can tell you that THERE IS WAY MORE TO LIFE. Seriously, try improving yourself and your own lifestyle before you try to find someone else and put your happiness in their hands, because the odds are that person will crush you if you give them that power. You need to let go of the idea that someone else can make you happy. Just do what you want in life and if you meet someone along the way then it's a bonus.

 

People can lead completely happy and fulfilling lives without ever having a significant other or marriage.

 

Anyone else agree? Or am I alone on this?

[Cracker Jack]

I see where you're coming from. It'll always (The idea of finally having a woman, and how good it would feel) be on my mind, especially when I'm outside, because it's hard to not think about finding a woman when you see so many.

 

But, I'm about to just let it go and realize that it probably won't happen anytime soon--and hopefully do other things with my time that'll make me feel good.

[OceanGirl]

I 100% agree.

 

In my heart, I have given up. I am not going to go out of my way to find dates. If they fall in my lap I will go but otherwise forget it. In my early 20's I was dating some loser on and off for a few years. During that time all I remember is crying on the couch at my mum's place because he didn't call or is not answering his phone or something. And what for? All that torment for nothing.

 

Ideally I would like to find someone that I enjoy being with. I would like to fall in love. But I am coming to a slow acceptance that this is not meant to happen for me. And I am not going to stress myself over it.

 

Cheers to being single

[deebeechrisyo]

I've played baseball almost all my life, and I see meeting women or meeting the right girl as a HOME RUN.

 

*groaaaaaaaaan*

[skydiveaddict]

People can lead completely happy and fulfilling lives without ever having a significant other or marriage.

 

Anyone else agree? Or am I alone on this?

 

 

I guess it is possible. But I'll tell you right now I am sick to death of being single. I hate it, it's boring, it's lonely and painful and I don't want to do it anymore. I want someone to share my life with.

[Surrealist]

Yes I do agree however I have to respond with the word "but".....

 

I've been extremely passive about meeting someone and granted, I am not yet divorced, but have been seperated for almost 5 years. Now before anyone jumps to conclusions I haven't yet encountered any occasion where I have been required to explain my situation except for one potential who lives interstate, and she seemed to accept it, though in the end we never met up.

 

Anyway, getting back to my original point, sure continue on in life BUT do not become blinded to opportunities when they arise. I've felt I have a terrible radar on where I never see the bloody opportunity at the time until hindsight comes into play and I realise wtf did I miss out on?! How did I not see that opportunity? I've had glamour chicks show me interest, clear interest, that I failed to act on. Even if it went nowhere, at least I could of got a single date or soem kind of relationship from it or something. But I have had nothing in that five years with the exception of meeting one older woman for drinks and I wasn't interested at all.

[GivenUp0083]

I guess it is possible. But I'll tell you right now I am sick to death of being single. I hate it, it's boring, it's lonely and painful and I don't want to do it anymore. I want someone to share my life with.

 

I guess I just don't see it that way. Maybe you're just lonely and need friends to hang out with. I can tell you having a roommate(s) makes all the difference about lonliness. Whats to say that even if you find a woman that you'll even be happy? How many married people do you know that are TRULY happy? Why do so many get divorced?

 

Yes I do agree however I have to respond with the word "but".....

 

I've been extremely passive about meeting someone and granted, I am not yet divorced, but have been seperated for almost 5 years. Now before anyone jumps to conclusions I haven't yet encountered any occasion where I have been required to explain my situation except for one potential who lives interstate, and she seemed to accept it, though in the end we never met up.

 

Anyway, getting back to my original point, sure continue on in life BUT do not become blinded to opportunities when they arise. I've felt I have a terrible radar on where I never see the bloody opportunity at the time until hindsight comes into play and I realise wtf did I miss out on?! How did I not see that opportunity? I've had glamour chicks show me interest, clear interest, that I failed to act on. Even if it went nowhere, at least I could of got a single date or soem kind of relationship from it or something. But I have had nothing in that five years with the exception of meeting one older woman for drinks and I wasn't interested at all.

 

You know, I just don't have many opportunities anymore. Maybe that's why it's been so easy for me. I used to have quite a few opportunities in my college years, and because of justifiable reasons I passed on them. Maybe if I had tried harder to resolve the issues rather than walk away my life could've been different, but I had my chances and I passed them. I'm content with that. Since then I don't really have girls chasing me anymore living in a huge city downtown. Women really don't see me as attractive or have any romantic interest in me. I know I'm not an ugly dude or anything and I work out a lot and in shape, but it's just something about me that doesn't get any second looks. That's totally fine in my eyes because it further justifies that it's not my destiny. Some other people need to just realize that it's not possible for some of us for various reasons.

[utterer of lies]

it seems that people are TOO focused on dating or finding "the one".

 

IF YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE YOU WILL FIND EACH OTHER NATURALLY. There won't be asking out, there won't be dates, there won't be late texts and reading into them, and there won't be dating profiles. All of these headaches/heartaches are completely unneccessary.

 

People can lead completely happy and fulfilling lives without ever having a significant other or marriage.

 

Bull****. Obviously you should not focus your life around dating, but you need to invest some effort into it.

 

It comes naturally...haha. There cannot be highs without lows. Happiness and love don't come without worries and heartaches. If you protect yourself so much that you don't even get excited if you get a text from the right person, you lost more than you should be willing to give.

 

And yes, obviously you can be content alone, and you should be able to live alone for a while, but still... there's something missing, and without working on it, the months or years will be wasted.

 

I rather have a painful, stressful and unsettling love affair for only a few weeks or months than just the bland, grey nothingness of normality.

 

The lows are worth the highs, and you should live with no regrets.

[Tim The Enchanter]

IF YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE YOU WILL FIND EACH OTHER NATURALLY.

 

If I adopted that approach, I would be single, celibate and utterly miserable. The passive approach is a one way route to misery, for men at least. All I know is that, whenever I've been in a relationship, I've been at my happiest.

[Surrealist]

As strange as it would seem, I can agree partly with both opposing points made by OP and UOLs.

 

Firstly, OP, I guess it is true to some extent that for some it may not be their destiny. Kind of like, we all work hard, but few of us will ever become multi-millionaires and as sad as that may be, it is reality for most people, even for those who would wishfully albeit mistakenly think otherwise.

 

However your post doesn't strike me as one that is content with the thought of remaining single. Therefore, some effort may be just the thing you need to turn the tide, and find a partner and so on.

 

I also mention that for some strange reason there are quite a number of people who seemingly find their perfect partner while still in their early 20s - I mention this because I've seen it quite a few times and you could barely find better romantic matches. Bit like the person who gets into business or works and things just work out for them and they have no problems building wealth.

 

Im 40 years old and have seen enough over the years to conclude this post by saying - life is one very strange beast at times!

[runner]

Bull****. Obviously you should not focus your life around dating, but you need to invest some effort into it.

 

It comes naturally...haha. There cannot be highs without lows. Happiness and love don't come without worries and heartaches. If you protect yourself so much that you don't even get excited if you get a text from the right person, you lost more than you should be willing to give.

 

And yes, obviously you can be content alone, and you should be able to live alone for a while, but still... there's something missing, and without working on it, the months or years will be wasted.

 

I rather have a painful, stressful and unsettling love affair for only a few weeks or months than just the bland, grey nothingness of normality.

 

The lows are worth the highs, and you should live with no regrets.

 

agreed.

 

i've done the passive approach in the past and have never had longer dry spells as i did then- i'm never going back to that.

[Tim The Enchanter]

agreed.

 

i've done the passive approach in the past and have never had longer dry spells as i did then- i'm never going back to that.

 

Ditto. Those are years wasted that I can't get back.

[Mellisa]

Consider this a tirade, but I think it's well deserved considering all the ridiculous posts people make, and it seems that people are TOO focused on dating or finding "the one".

 

I honestly believe in all my heart that these games, intuition, flakes, bad dates, are all self inflicted and aren't worth 5 minutes, let alone the weeks/months/years of stress that is included when dating. I can't bring this home enough: IF YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE YOU WILL FIND EACH OTHER NATURALLY. There won't be asking out, there won't be dates, there won't be late texts and reading into them, and there won't be dating profiles. All of these headaches/heartaches are completely unneccessary.

 

I've played baseball almost all my life, and I see meeting women or meeting the right girl as a HOME RUN. What happens in baseball if you swing for the fences every time? You strike out time and time again. But if you just go with it, have fun at the plate, continue on with your daily life and make solid contact with the ball, once in a while it will go out of the park and you didn't even try to. I hardly know any players who hit a home run when they actually tried to do it. Doesn't happen like that.

 

I've been through all this dating bull**** and I can tell you that THERE IS WAY MORE TO LIFE. Seriously, try improving yourself and your own lifestyle before you try to find someone else and put your happiness in their hands, because the odds are that person will crush you if you give them that power. You need to let go of the idea that someone else can make you happy. Just do what you want in life and if you meet someone along the way then it's a bonus.

 

People can lead completely happy and fulfilling lives without ever having a significant other or marriage.

 

Anyone else agree? Or am I alone on this?

 

I dont think you can feel completely happy and fulfilling in that case..you might get the feeling of happiness and fullfillment from other areas in life, but there is alway gonna be this one area that is empty and every time you look at it you'll wonder i wonder what it's like to have that.Have you ever been in love and be loved back?Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel happy even if it's just for a short while?Dont you think it's still worth the effort to find that no matter how slim the chance?

 

I know you probably have been let down many times and are tired of the whole dating to find someone drama.I can relate to that it's actually good to be single feeling.What i'm working on now is that i try to change my mindset from setting out to find the one to meeting people and have a good time.I think it's healthy to have a few flings and affairs once in while just to feel things,be it a feeling a giddiness, butterflies,even stress and miseries,because without those feelings how do we know if we are truely alive?Life is all about having experiences and getting the most we can from it.

[SunsetRed]

I totally agree. 99% of the time, when I'm my "healthy self" I live my life very similar to what you've posted. It's that 1% "akwardly human" side of me that gets me in trouble.

 

I'm going thru the final stages of a break up now (acceptance feels GREAT) but still have some minor insecurities and fears associated with the break up.

 

I need to reread my copy of The Secret and focus on the abundance in my life (as there is plenty) and the rest will fall into place.

 

Every great relationship I've ever had just happened out of the blue when I wasn't expecting it. With the 2 best relationships I've ever had, I met the guys in a laundry mat. Both times I was wearing my rattiest clothes as my good clothes were being washed.

 

You're right. If you have to "read into" things that are written or said or if you spend more time analyzing the relationship than actually being in it, then you are off base.

 

Ok, I'm ready to reread The Secret and ready to start living my abundant life. Needy thought of my recent Ex...be gone!

[sumdude]

I've played baseball almost all my life, and I see meeting women or meeting the right girl as a HOME RUN. What happens in baseball if you swing for the fences every time? You strike out time and time again. But if you just go with it, have fun at the plate, continue on with your daily life and make solid contact with the ball, once in a while it will go out of the park and you didn't even try to. I hardly know any players who hit a home run when they actually tried to do it. Doesn't happen like that.

 

 

Well yeah sure. But the same year Babe Ruth had the home run and batting average record didn't he also have the record for most strike outs?

 

http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/03/are-you-willing-to-strike-out.html

Edited November 11, 2010 by sumdude

[D-Jam]

GivenUp0083, you have finally gotten the idea of what I try to preach to all these guys.

 

For every nice guy, good guy, shy guy, etc...that can't seem to get anywhere in dating and thus gets angry all the time, what else is in your life? What else makes you happy?

 

There is way more to life than finding someone. I kick myself that it took me so long to figure that out. While I did find Ms Right after that, I always feel happy with who I am and what I am in this world. I never fear she'll leave me and look for some bigger better deal or that I'll end up trapped. I simply live my life now to make sure I am fulfilled and balanced. I care deeply for my GF, but I will not let myself fall into my old trappings that made love into a misery.

 

On every one of these boards that I've heard men complain about their love lives, and even in other avenues when I've heard the "alpha males" and "bad boys" and "playas" complain about how "terrible" women today are...I still see that ALL of them put way too much obsession on it. I can see they all seemingly place their sense of self-worth on if women like them. What about if YOU like YOURSELF? I mean that seriously, not in some egotistical look in the mirror and put up a front thing. Most of these guys you can clearly see have a low opinion of themselves and use sorrow or bitterness to hide it.

 

Every answer I try to give on this board is telling guys to value themselves. To value who they are as people, and what they do in their lives, and if they feel they do nothing in their lives but try to get dates, then obviously that's why they hate who they are.

 

Women only took notice of me when I stopped worrying so damn much about my love life, and this wasn't some "playing aloof" thing many think you should do. It more was that the "he wants a girl badly" vibe was gone, and I was involved in other things in my life so thus I came off as a better package than the guy who obsesses about getting girls.

 

"Passive spell" isn't about pretending not to care, but simply putting love on the back burner of your life...and doing OTHER THINGS. Most guys I've seen who attempted to try this only hid themselves in work and hobbies that neither make them interact with the opposite sex nor really appear as "ideal" to women.

 

Even if you're not ready to take a break from dating and do other things, then at least quit the dating sites, meetups, and any other online means you try to use to get women. Go to a meetup because you want to do the activity, not because some cute girl or girls RSVPed "yes". Take a fun class in something you wanted to learn, learn new skills that make you money, get into physical fitness for your own health, do things.

 

If you forget the women who are desperately trying to get bad boys to "change their ways" for them, most single attractive women simply are not into the guy who is trying like crazy to get a date. Their concern is that once she is dating him, what else is there? My GF loved that I did things and had a life...as did other women I met before I met my GF.

[GivenUp0083]

Bull****. Obviously you should not focus your life around dating, but you need to invest some effort into it.

 

The lows are worth the highs, and you should live with no regrets.

 

I appreciate your opinion but I guess I just completely see it opposite as you do. Invest time? Into what? I see dating as investing time into people who don't even hold enough respect to even reject you. Gone are the days where people actually tell you how they feel and have the decency to even just say "this isn't working for me I think we should stop dating". You know what people do now? They hide. They just ignore you after weeks of dating. Yeah, I'm gonne keep INVESTING time into that when I could do something more rewarding.

 

However your post doesn't strike me as one that is content with the thought of remaining single. Therefore, some effort may be just the thing you need to turn the tide, and find a partner and so on.

 

I'm sorry Tim, I've put forth more than my share of effort, it's a waste of time. The harder you do try the less success you have. Every time I found a girl it was because I didn't care about dating at the time. Effort is a joke when dating.

 

I am plenty content, sir. And any time I start to think otherwise, I just remember past experiences when "trying" and I take a look at other relationships and the crap they have to deal with and get all upset over. Just look at this message board, I definitely don't want to be a part of that group anymore.

 

It just comes easier for some than it does for others. I've completely accepted that I will not attract women with looks, nor personality. It's just something about me and I don't know what it is, and if you try to figure it out it will only tear a reasonable person apart. Happiness can easily be found in other aspects of life, it's all around, there's no void unless you enjoy being emotionally tortured and confused. Good luck with that.

[112233]

Anyone else agree? Or am I alone on this?

 

There is no "one", and there are no "meant to bes", those are concepts built up by marketeers. For (almost) every person on Earth there are thousands of people who could be a good match, for most people, probably 100s of thousands. People get too hung up on two simple things. First, they get focussed on what they imagine is the one, when it's not gonna work out, and two, once they are with someone and it's not storybook perfect, they start looking around because they somehow think "the one" is still out there.

 

Life is a lot simpler than most people like to pretend.

[Surrealist]

GivenUp0083, you have finally gotten the idea of what I try to preach to all these guys.

 

For every nice guy, good guy, shy guy, etc...that can't seem to get anywhere in dating and thus gets angry all the time, what else is in your life? What else makes you happy?

 

There is way more to life than finding someone. I kick myself that it took me so long to figure that out. While I did find Ms Right after that, I always feel happy with who I am and what I am in this world. I never fear she'll leave me and look for some bigger better deal or that I'll end up trapped. I simply live my life now to make sure I am fulfilled and balanced. I care deeply for my GF, but I will not let myself fall into my old trappings that made love into a misery.

 

On every one of these boards that I've heard men complain about their love lives, and even in other avenues when I've heard the "alpha males" and "bad boys" and "playas" complain about how "terrible" women today are...I still see that ALL of them put way too much obsession on it. I can see they all seemingly place their sense of self-worth on if women like them. What about if YOU like YOURSELF? I mean that seriously, not in some egotistical look in the mirror and put up a front thing. Most of these guys you can clearly see have a low opinion of themselves and use sorrow or bitterness to hide it.

 

Every answer I try to give on this board is telling guys to value themselves. To value who they are as people, and what they do in their lives, and if they feel they do nothing in their lives but try to get dates, then obviously that's why they hate who they are.

 

Women only took notice of me when I stopped worrying so damn much about my love life, and this wasn't some "playing aloof" thing many think you should do. It more was that the "he wants a girl badly" vibe was gone, and I was involved in other things in my life so thus I came off as a better package than the guy who obsesses about getting girls.

 

"Passive spell" isn't about pretending not to care, but simply putting love on the back burner of your life...and doing OTHER THINGS. Most guys I've seen who attempted to try this only hid themselves in work and hobbies that neither make them interact with the opposite sex nor really appear as "ideal" to women.

 

Even if you're not ready to take a break from dating and do other things, then at least quit the dating sites, meetups, and any other online means you try to use to get women. Go to a meetup because you want to do the activity, not because some cute girl or girls RSVPed "yes". Take a fun class in something you wanted to learn, learn new skills that make you money, get into physical fitness for your own health, do things.

 

If you forget the women who are desperately trying to get bad boys to "change their ways" for them, most single attractive women simply are not into the guy who is trying like crazy to get a date. Their concern is that once she is dating him, what else is there? My GF loved that I did things and had a life...as did other women I met before I met my GF.

 

 

Still can appear too aloof toward dating and end up without dates or getting women in any kind of capacity apart from purely platonic or business relations. If having replete lives with activities and goals were the key to dating success then I would be in a far different situation today. Message I'm conveying here is you certainly can lose out by being indifferent toward women so as not to show you're desperate to get a date or otherwise some kind of action.

[GivenUp0083]

GivenUp0083, you have finally gotten the idea of what I try to preach to all these guys.

 

For every nice guy, good guy, shy guy, etc...that can't seem to get anywhere in dating and thus gets angry all the time, what else is in your life? What else makes you happy?

 

There is way more to life than finding someone. I kick myself that it took me so long to figure that out. While I did find Ms Right after that, I always feel happy with who I am and what I am in this world. I never fear she'll leave me and look for some bigger better deal or that I'll end up trapped. I simply live my life now to make sure I am fulfilled and balanced. I care deeply for my GF, but I will not let myself fall into my old trappings that made love into a misery.

 

On every one of these boards that I've heard men complain about their love lives, and even in other avenues when I've heard the "alpha males" and "bad boys" and "playas" complain about how "terrible" women today are...I still see that ALL of them put way too much obsession on it. I can see they all seemingly place their sense of self-worth on if women like them. What about if YOU like YOURSELF? I mean that seriously, not in some egotistical look in the mirror and put up a front thing. Most of these guys you can clearly see have a low opinion of themselves and use sorrow or bitterness to hide it.

 

Every answer I try to give on this board is telling guys to value themselves. To value who they are as people, and what they do in their lives, and if they feel they do nothing in their lives but try to get dates, then obviously that's why they hate who they are.

 

Women only took notice of me when I stopped worrying so damn much about my love life, and this wasn't some "playing aloof" thing many think you should do. It more was that the "he wants a girl badly" vibe was gone, and I was involved in other things in my life so thus I came off as a better package than the guy who obsesses about getting girls.

 

"Passive spell" isn't about pretending not to care, but simply putting love on the back burner of your life...and doing OTHER THINGS. Most guys I've seen who attempted to try this only hid themselves in work and hobbies that neither make them interact with the opposite sex nor really appear as "ideal" to women.

 

Even if you're not ready to take a break from dating and do other things, then at least quit the dating sites, meetups, and any other online means you try to use to get women. Go to a meetup because you want to do the activity, not because some cute girl or girls RSVPed "yes". Take a fun class in something you wanted to learn, learn new skills that make you money, get into physical fitness for your own health, do things.

 

If you forget the women who are desperately trying to get bad boys to "change their ways" for them, most single attractive women simply are not into the guy who is trying like crazy to get a date. Their concern is that once she is dating him, what else is there? My GF loved that I did things and had a life...as did other women I met before I met my GF.

 

THANK YOU!! Finally someone who knows EXACTLY what I am talking about. It's about enjoying your life and doing what YOU want to do, not because you think someone else will like you for it, or because you think you'll meet a girl there. Do it because you get a sense of achievement, self worth, or you just simply have a lot of fun doing it.

 

I can see how many peopel would interpret my post as being upset with dating or bitter, but I would definitely date a girl that I ran across in daily life that shared similar interests and showed a liking to me. If she gave me a serious sign of interest ONLY THEN will I ask her to spend additional time with me. This going out on a limb garbage is for the birds. I did online dating for over a year, I remember spending hours trying to think of creative emails to write to women whom I've never met and reading their ridiculous profiles to try and find something we have in common or something to ask about themselves only to not even be shown the same courtesy of a response, let alone a rejection. Try spending hard earned money to date these women only know you're being critiqued and compared to the 50 other guys she's talking to or the 10 others she's dating. Yeah, I'm gonna keep puting my effort into THAT.

 

I had knee surgery last winter and I'm almost fully recovered. I'm already playing baseball and football, but I have aspirations to pick up basketball and snowboarding again. I'm also going to try something new in the spring, they call it RUGBY and it looks like a blast. Sports is where I'm truly happy, and soon I'll be able to play sports every single day that I want to. I also am saving to go to Vegas and travel Europe with some friends. That will be a wise and fun investment that will give me lifelong happy memories. I think of women I dated and I don't get the same warm and fuzzy feeling you all claim it brings.

[9Lives]

I'm 42 yrs old and I can tell u that having a relationship is good but if that is where a lot of your focus is...you will be disappointed. the best thing you can do is love yourself and not settle for having anybody just for the sake of having someone. a lot of people are afraid to be alone so they will be with someone knowing they are not happy.

 

I strongly believe now that the single life can be so fulfilling and lots of fun. no, you don't have the same life u had when u was in a relationship. its different. but u don't have to be by yourself either. get into life. do stuff..meet people.

[Surrealist]

 

 

 

I'm sorry Tim, I've put forth more than my share of effort, it's a waste of time. The harder you do try the less success you have. Every time I found a girl it was because I didn't care about dating at the time. Effort is a joke when dating.

 

I am plenty content, sir. And any time I start to think otherwise, I just remember past experiences when "trying" and I take a look at other relationships and the crap they have to deal with and get all upset over. Just look at this message board, I definitely don't want to be a part of that group anymore.

 

It just comes easier for some than it does for others. I've completely accepted that I will not attract women with looks, nor personality. It's just something about me and I don't know what it is, and if you try to figure it out it will only tear a reasonable person apart. Happiness can easily be found in other aspects of life, it's all around, there's no void unless you enjoy being emotionally tortured and confused. Good luck with that.

 

 

Hey hey that is what I said, how did Tim's name get into that citation??

[BrianK]

I was basically doing what the OP preached from 1999 to 2009. After a BRUTAL break-up with my HS sweetheart of 3 years (she started seeing some fag at the burger joint she worked at, so I kicked his ass and got charged with assault / retraining orders etc..all happened in 2 days, went from a happy loving relationship to "you call her and you go to jail").

 

I had enough, it took me years to get over that and then all I ended up meeting were strippers, online skanks and eventually nothing. With all of it out of the picture my life got better by leaps and bounds. I did NOT care about women and other than the odd drunken one night stand I steered quite clear of them.

 

Put myself through school, got a great job but just recently Ive found that after all these years, I am ready to get back to the dance.

 

So while its good and healthy to walk away from all this **** because you'll indeed be happier than you've ever been, there will also come a time when you re-enter the game.

[GivenUp0083]

I really don't think I will enter the game. If it weren't for online dating I wouldn't have been able to go on ANY dates in the last year. I'm not socially awkward, I actually work in outside sales and I get along with people very well. They have to like me to get paid. BUT since college ever girl I've asked out or gotten a phone number from has not lead to a single date. That's at least 4 years in a big city like Chicago that I could not land a date by conventional meeting random people/friends of friends and getting a date. The only dates I can get are from online crazies. So I know now that it is clearly not in the cards for me and I won't go back to "puting in the effort".

[veggirl]

I partially agree. Yes, I can be happy/fulfilled without a significant other. I disagree with the whole "if it's meant to be, it will be" stuff. I don't believe in "meant to be"--who the heck decides what is supposedly meant to be? You are preaching the whole "it'll happen when you aren't looking!" thing, which is true sometimes. The opposite, though, of if I work hard enough to find it, I will find it, is also true sometimes