Not caring about lies too much

[wheelwright]

In a book I read recently, the young male (sad beautiful and maligned) hero says 'I never cared that much for the truth'

 

I think he meant both in the telling and the receiving.

 

In the remit of the book, there is as much bull***t in the truth as in lies around this young hero.

 

Let's say you are pre-disposed to sympathise with said hero. What is his point as you relate?

 

Or do you not see his point?

 

Isn't infidelity all about other people's truths?

 

(Book = The River Song by Alice Hoffman)

 

Boy in question is capable of love, has low self-esteem, and is bullied. But sees the truth, even if he doesn't like to listen to people's versions of it.

Edited November 11, 2010 by wheelwright

[wheelwright]

[FONT=Bookman Old Style]'Some would say the solution to all marital difficulties is honesty - always saying what is on your mind because that is the Truth. But in my practice I have seen this become an excuse for disrespect and contempt, and these are the things that will cause ruptures rather than healing'[/FONT]

[FONT=Bookman Old Style][/FONT]

Found this while surfing.

Anyway, it's what I wanted to say too.

[Owl]

I say don't rely on fictional characters to provide you with the role models for your behavior/beliefs.

 

Decide for yourself how important the truth is to you...and how the facets of each situation impact that importance to you.

 

I believe that the truth is hugely important in a marriage...as is respect. Don't use one to negate the other. Don't disrespect your wife by calling her a fat slob just because you feel it's true. If you feel that its true...find a respectful way to communicate that truth in a manner that can be conducive to positive change, rather than creating a negative situation.

[wheelwright]

I say don't rely on fictional characters to provide you with the role models for your behavior/beliefs.

 

Decide for yourself how important the truth is to you...and how the facets of each situation impact that importance to you.

 

I believe that the truth is hugely important in a marriage...as is respect. Don't use one to negate the other. Don't disrespect your wife by calling her a fat slob just because you feel it's true. If you feel that its true...find a respectful way to communicate that truth in a manner that can be conducive to positive change, rather than creating a negative situation.

 

I agree with you. I want to hear the other side though. Because if a beautiful fictional character could be so, then I want to see how that evidences itself for us A affected people.

 

But we have come up against this before. You don't believe in Romeo and Juliet or Cathy and Heathcliff.

 

And I don't know. Cos that's how I felt in my A. But I find that foolish. But the foolishness doesn't change it.

 

I agree with what you said about respect.

 

And why shouldn't one/I rely on fictional characters for role models?

 

I could focus on Clinton or Earheart.

 

Or myself - someone lost in the din of what people are telling me.

 

In truth though, my time here at LS is formative.

 

I do not just listen.

 

I take in and evolve. And sometimes give input. I like it as an exchange.

 

I come here for wisdom and pathos and challenge.

 

Role models fictional or otherwise can be hugely inspirational without making decisions for us.

 

They make us think about who we are, want to be, could not be and simply respect for having something in their spirit we could never match.

 

ps - I find this conversation difficult and important. But that sounds really silly!

Edited November 11, 2010 by wheelwright