sally4sara Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I am not an expert on the insect world but I think I know what you mean. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Why is it that a man has to be afraid to show he is a human being in front of a woman? Women complain that they can't be strong without being looked at as manhating nags and that is true but there is also a flipside to that. Every time I see men let down their armor and show some sensitivity it's like he becomes unattractive in an instant to the woman in his life. She slowly starts to despise him. I saw my father get torn to shreds whenever he showed some weakness and my ex wife even lost attraction because I cried at a funeral of a best friend who was murdered. I was not even allowed to show weakness at that moment.Today I am terrifed of being vulnerable in front of my wife. People want to confide in her about my issues but I won't because the same cycle might happen. What do women here think when they see a man being vulnerable? Be honest. I learned in previous relationships that showing even a flash of insecurity could be disastrous. Sadness can be Ok if shown only briefly. Being depressed for a period she is more likely to kick you when your down than to cheer you up. Basically your encouraged to show certain emotions... and hide most of the negative ones. However, I've been quickly learning that women are not like that all over the world. Other cultures expect men to be more like people, whereas here you are expected to have the emotional range of an ATM machine. I know some posters are telling you to open up to your wife... but I'm going to be very serious when I say... be very careful when doing that!
Author Woggle Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 I I know some posters are telling you to open up to your wife... but I'm going to be very serious when I say... be very careful when doing that! I agree. I want to trust her and I do 99% but it is that 1% that keeps me from opening up.
sumdude Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Men are still expected to slay the dragons, protect the homeland, sow his oats, keep the beasts at bay, carry the heavy stuff, bring home the bacon, ravage her like a caveman, squish the spiders, comfort her, be a loving daddy, mow the lawn, take out the trash, change the oil etc etc and never whine. The fact that many women have taken on more of these tasks in modern life doesn't mean these expectations have been lifted from men.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I agree. I want to trust her and I do 99% but it is that 1% that keeps me from opening up. Hey I've been there and kind of messed it up. I was open about not being happy at work and it made her feel I was whining about it... among other things. Basically if I have to walk on eggshells to express an emotion besides love, lust, and anger... it's just not worth expressing those other emotions at all. Being upset at you for crying at a funeral is extreme... but being too expressive in negative emotions will turn most any woman off. I'd say be really careful in how and what you open up. I don't really care what the women on this board have to say about this topic. They don't understand this topic at all. I mean that! There are alot that mean well... but it's like someone who says "I'd love to live on the moon". Make sure to take your advice from people who have been there and know what it's like. This is your marriage... if things are going well don't take advice from this forum to make changes.
NorthBound Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 I love it when my boyfriend shows emotion, I don't think he's less of a man, I'm happy he's not bottling things up because of a fear of what anyone might think of him. This doesn't make him a sissy, he is very much a strong man. We recently found an abandoned dog in our garden and kept her for two days whilst we found a home for her.. We got very attached! The night before she was leaving, I walked into the lounge to find her asleep on his lap and he was crying whilst stroking her and I loved comforting him... The next day, I had a little cry as the woman was taking her away, he comforted me, then once we were back inside he started crying again and we cuddled. I would never ever want a man who couldn't show his emotions. Glad to hear this!
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