cokopuff Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 okay so im 21 years old and i got married 5 months ago, though i'm still supposed to be in honey moon bliss i am not because my honey moon never started not once since we've been married has my husband done any thing romantic he plays on this "i have to get used to us" line and im really starting to get fed up our sex life has become very uninteresting i feel ugly and unattractive i cant help but feel like this isn't what i signed up for i work i cook im always the one to"make the first move" i feel like the man here i cant express this to him because he always say i make him feel like crap well how does he think i feel about everything im really depressed about being in this marriage and i dont know what to do i want things to work out but how can they when he doesn't even show any effort?? any way thanx for letting me vent
2sure Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Wow...so was it like this at all before the actual marriage? Has anything changed since then, like jobs, houses, etc. Did you live together before you married and how long have you been together?
young&inlove Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I am 21 and married also, except I am coming up on two years. For me it was the same with me and my hubs. I didn’t bring it up to him. We started to have some problems and he didn’t tell me how he felt, as well as I didn’t tell him how I felt. He ended up cheating on me with my best friend because he "wasn’t happy and wanted to get out." We have worked it out now. You need to talk to your man. Tell him how you feel. When he starts to use his excuses say, make sure that he isn’t the only one who is adjusting here. You both need to learn each other. How come he gets an "out" but your left picking up the pieces? Confront him on it but make sure you are calm and so is he. If it gets a little crazy, tell him you will let him cool and come back to talk like adults. That’s EXACTLY what I have been doing with my husband the last little while and its worked to my advantage! Good luck! Don’t get down just yet!
Lauriebell82 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Women mature at a faster rate then men. Assuming your husband is young like you, he probably is still very immature and has poor communication skills. He needs to get over the "your making me feel like crap" line, marriage has it's ups and downs, you aren't always going to feel good talking about problems! He just sounds very young and immature to me, therefore trying to have "adult talks" is going to be trying. Be patient. I agree with the previous poster who said that if he starts to get heated and upset, take a time out and come back and talk when he is calmer. It basically sounds like he has some growing up to do.
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Women mature at a faster rate then men. Young women dating 'guys their own age' and this is what you get. Guys around 30 should be dating women in their early 20s. It just works out better.
phillyfan Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 he ended up cheating on me with my best friend because he "wasn’t happy and wanted to get out." we have worked it out now. wtf?!?!?!!
musemaj11 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Women dont mature faster than men. Thats just the greatest myth ever told. Physiologically yes, but not psychologically.
young&inlove Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 wtf?!?!?!! Yeah it was a very big mess... I AM IN NO WAY SAYING HER AND HER HUSBAND WILL END WITH THAT!! That’s just what happened to us. It was a nightmare.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Women dont mature faster than men. Thats just the greatest myth ever told. Physiologically yes, but not psychologically. GENERALLY SPEAKING, I am talking more about relationship maturity. Women usually are ready to get married before men and have better communication skills (meaning they like to talk things out).
BlackLovely Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Young women dating 'guys their own age' and this is what you get. Guys around 30 should be dating women in their early 20s. It just works out better. Amen! My husband is 36, whereas I am 28. I've always appreciated older men's sophistication and sensuality.
Author cokopuff Posted November 16, 2010 Author Posted November 16, 2010 Women mature at a faster rate then men. Assuming your husband is young like you, he probably is still very immature and has poor communication skills. He needs to get over the "your making me feel like crap" line, marriage has it's ups and downs, you aren't always going to feel good talking about problems! He just sounds very young and immature to me, therefore trying to have "adult talks" is going to be trying. Be patient. I agree with the previous poster who said that if he starts to get heated and upset, take a time out and come back and talk when he is calmer. It basically sounds like he has some growing up to do. thank you my husband is 8 years older than i am so coming into to it i thought he had an idea in something but he dont sometime i feel like he wasnt ready to be my husband in that case i wonder y he asked
allina Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 Yikes! I recommend getting some sort of marriage counseling asap. Unfortunately you married extremely young and these marriages often fail. Do you want to fight for this marriage or do you feel like it was a mistake?
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