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Only time I'm successful with online dating...is...


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Posted

....whent he person I'm contacting is BRAND new to the site...anyone notice this?

Posted

Yes, I noticed that when dating online earlier this year. The 'hardened' regulars appeared, for all intents and purposes, to not care or merely forgot to turn off their profiles after meeting someone. In my area, the potential numbers were so few, generally under 50 at any one given time, that I 'knew' everyone :D

 

A notable exception was a 'regular' who contacted me first and we dated for a month or so.

Posted

It makes sense. I'm sure the new folk haven't been bombarded with hundreds of emails and actually do want to find someone...as opposed to sitting on an imaginary pedestal and demanding the "top of the line" mate come to them.

Posted

It's most likely that they haven't yet been crashed upon by a variable tidal wave of messages.

 

I will give credit to guys in that it's impossibly difficult to make your message stand out when it comes to online dating. I know that when I logged into my account and saw 147 new messages, they did all just seem to blend together.

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Posted

Yeah, I actually have to strike while the iron is HOT....I had just corresponded back and forth 3 times by email with this one woman...and was able to ask for her # and she gave it to me.

 

Thus...it was great that happened, because I don't to be one of "those guys" in just an inbox list.

 

Now that I got her #, I'm set apart from the rest. :)

 

 

It's most likely that they haven't yet been crashed upon by a variable tidal wave of messages.

 

I will give credit to guys in that it's impossibly difficult to make your message stand out when it comes to online dating. I know that when I logged into my account and saw 147 new messages, they did all just seem to blend together.

Posted

This is why I wish dating sites would have a "REJECT" button that pretty much allowed the person rejecting to send a message (if desired) and then "vanish" from the person who has been rejected.

 

Men and women would literally press the "REJECT" button on every profile they know they will never have interest in, and thus let those they are interested in message them.

 

I know it sounds cold/snobby...but even for a guy if they logged on and saw either honest responses and couldn't be drama queens, they might "get the message" on things they need to fix/change...or even see a list of females who might actually want to connect and not the ones who are an instant "reject".

 

I don't fault on women who get loads of emails every day and can't sort through them...nor do I fault on when women put up the filters. It's like when you're an HR person and you are getting 1000 resumes for one opening...you have to whittle them down somehow.

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Posted

I know, it's a shame though...one would have to compare finding love to an HR Dept. sorting through 100's of resumes :(

 

 

This is why I wish dating sites would have a "REJECT" button that pretty much allowed the person rejecting to send a message (if desired) and then "vanish" from the person who has been rejected.

 

Men and women would literally press the "REJECT" button on every profile they know they will never have interest in, and thus let those they are interested in message them.

 

I know it sounds cold/snobby...but even for a guy if they logged on and saw either honest responses and couldn't be drama queens, they might "get the message" on things they need to fix/change...or even see a list of females who might actually want to connect and not the ones who are an instant "reject".

 

I don't fault on women who get loads of emails every day and can't sort through them...nor do I fault on when women put up the filters. It's like when you're an HR person and you are getting 1000 resumes for one opening...you have to whittle them down somehow.

Posted
....whent he person I'm contacting is BRAND new to the site...anyone notice this?

 

I used OKcupid for 2 months earlier this year. Never used it before that. As a guy I had a huge number of women contact me. Like 4 new messages a day. I went on several dates and never had to reach out to anybody.

 

I revamped my profile 1 month in to help attract the type of woman I'm interested in. I removed my occupation and income levels... and posted better pictures. I was suddenly much less popular. Recieving maybe 1 new message a day.... tapering off to 2 a week.

 

Based on this experience, if your having trouble with online dating... post your income.

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Posted

Based on this experience, if your having trouble with online dating... post your income.

 

 

Cool, that means I'll have to lie about the amount of money I make. :laugh::laugh:

Posted

Based on this experience, if your having trouble with online dating... post your income.

 

**Just an FYI- ( I am female, business owner and financially independant)- I use POF and Match and I don't care if a guy posts his income or not, that doesn't deter me. But if he does not post his profession, I won't respond. Makes me suspicious (of what I am not sure). I also don't respond when a guy puts N/A next to Education/Smarts. LOL. okaaayyy.......

But income? as long as there is one, it doesn';t matter to me how much it is. But maybe thats just me.

Posted

My area sucks. The women within a 35 mile radius of me are well below average for women I would consider dating or even a 1 night stand.

  • Author
Posted

What about profiles that I've seen where women put as profession:

 

"None of your business"

 

"I work"

 

"I have a job"

 

"Tell you later"

 

"Ask me"

 

I've seen a ton of those, not sure why this is an issue with women.

 

 

Based on this experience, if your having trouble with online dating... post your income.

 

**Just an FYI- ( I am female, business owner and financially independant)- I use POF and Match and I don't care if a guy posts his income or not, that doesn't deter me. But if he does not post his profession, I won't respond. Makes me suspicious (of what I am not sure). I also don't respond when a guy puts N/A next to Education/Smarts. LOL. okaaayyy.......

But income? as long as there is one, it doesn';t matter to me how much it is. But maybe thats just me.

Posted

The magical world of online dating, and the spammers promoting their websites. :rolleyes:

Posted

Like anyone's going to ****ing read that ****, Rosetta.

Posted

I hope you reported that post too.

Posted
....whent he person I'm contacting is BRAND new to the site...anyone notice this?

 

There is some truth in that. However, I do tend to look for the newest profiles because I've already seen most of the existing ones in my catchment area. Sometimes I will expand my horizons and look for people in different areas, so it's just as likely that I will meet someone who's been on there a while.

 

Quite often, however, what I think is a new person is actually someone who's been on there a few months. It's just that I haven't seen them before.

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