unknownland Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I told my boyfriend three weeks ago that I would give him space for a while because I could sense that is what he needed, in which he replied that he did need space and had felt miserable the last few weeks. When I asked for how long he said he honestly didnt know. I said I understood he needed space but I woulodnt wait forever. Before I said I'd give him space he had stopped replying to my text messages sometimes (we don't call on the phone) and made excuses not to see me. I feel I had gotten to clingy and that is why. He had just started a full time job which he had never had before and I think was finding it hard to adjust to that and still see his friends. I saw him a few days ago, and had a very short chat, I had dyed my hair and he said it was nice. I tried texting him couple days after that to see if he fancied going for a drink soon, but he didnt reply. I have heard that he acted in a similar way with his ex, he started walking all over her, and she ended it with him. I'm worried he got bored with me liek he did her, and wants to break up but won't have the guts. or he really is just wanting some space to get used to his new lifestyle. I've tried to get him to meet me to talk about thing, but he seems reluctant still to meet. Should I make him meet me, or should I give him more space and not contacting him.
ReturnToSender Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 You already sensed it and asked him if he needed space and he said he did. Retracting on that and saying "should I make him meet me" doesnt make sense. You said youd give him space and that you wont wait around... stand behind your word and do what you said you would. I wish I had...would have saved me a ton of heartache.
Author unknownland Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 (edited) thanks, yes you are right. I do just fear he might just never want to talk again, but when I think he did chat to me the other day, he properly just needs time to think what he wants and get used to his new lifestyle. I'll keep giving him space still, and hope he contacts me soon. Forcing him to meet me may only make things worse. I can try to talk to him things when he wants to I guess. I'm not sure how to keep up this space and not contacting him, but showing I wont wait around forever like I said. I have changed my appearance for myself which he has seen, so this has shown I am getting on with my life. Edited November 10, 2010 by unknownland
BeatrixKiddo Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I know you fear it, but the more you cling the worse it'll make it than it had to be. He knows how you feel so leave it at that. If he's going to leave, he's going to leave regardless. As for showing you won't wait around, I think what a lot of people do is set up a personal time-line...probably before giving him space you should have discussed this (like setting up meeting a month or so), but I don't know about now because the space has already been set in motion...
Author unknownland Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 I know I really should have tried harder to discuss things with him before telling him I would give him space, the trouble was he never really wanted to talk or see me much so it made it difficult. He appears to be happier again in his life, but still isn't making any effort to contact me, or tell me how long he needs, if he has now decided unlike previously. I will have no contact with him for another week or so, but then if I keep it up, I wonder how anything could ever be resolved, one way or another, if he also doesn't talk.
skydiveaddict Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Listen, usually the " I need space" line is used by girls. It means "I don't want to see you anymore". It's a coward's way out of telling you the truth. So give him his wish. Don't contact him anymore and tell him not to contact you. He is playing with your feelings and you don't deserve that. What's worse is that he knows that as well but doesn't seem to care. Tell him to stay the hell out of your life. You deserve better.
Author unknownland Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 I have been thinking he just wanted out, but it happened quickly he just suddenly stoppeed wanting to see me as much. I freaked out and kept pestering him, which I know has made things worse. I gave him two weeks of absolute no contact and when I bumped into him he seemed happy to talk to me. If this is the case why would he not reply to text messages or still want no contact, I don't think I'm ready to let it go and give up, as I don't know the reason behind him acting this way, which led me to give him space.
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