saxon2901 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I have been dating this amazing guy for the past 5 weeks and I really like him but the thing is everything keeps going wrong and I don't know if it's me! And if there is anyway we can make it work. I met him on an online dating site. The 1st thing is I had also been chatting to another guy around the same time who didn't live in my city and who was a flight away from me. Before I actually met the guy here I had booked a flight ticket to meet this other guy. At first I thought I would still go and meet him as you never know what can happen. But things were progressing with my guy here! Then after a really good night the next morning we went out for breakfast and bumped into a girl who he said was a friend of his. When he saw her he said we sould say hello and then introduced me as his girlfriend. She was abusive towards him and said to me had he told me he'd been sleeping with her! I was shocked and didn't know what to say! After dropping him back at home I left to think about things. I then tried to call him but he was strange on the phone saying that he was on the other line to his sister. But I could here something in the background and so went back round there and she was there. She said all these things about him and them being in a relationship. I let him explain about this and he told me that he had slept with her previously but not for a long time and he thought she was just a friend nothing else. And that nothing like this would happen again! So as I had been feeling guilty about going to meet this other guy and because I thought we could make it work I told him I would trust him and to prove it I told him why I was supposed to be going on my trip and that as I'd booked the ticket he would also have to trust me to still go but not meet up with this other guy. He didn't take that well at first but then after awhile he said that he would trust me and that we would be exclusive to each other - all good I thought! Then the next problem - I'm still friends with my ex who contacts me on occasion. I had told my ex about my new guy - the only thing is since telling him he started contacting me more. After a while my new guy asked me to stop contact with my ex and I said I would - but I didn't actually tell my ex. But then my new guy went through my phone and saw text messages from him even thought there was nothing to the messages he was not happy! I then sent the text to my ex telling him to stop contacting me. Then - I went out the other night with friends to a 9pm movie. My guy sent me a message asking where I was. But I don't think he believed me! I called him as I was heading home and he said he would call me when I got home on my landline. Which I feel was him making sure that I went home. Even though he was out with friends! He then called again at 4am and when I said he shouldn't be calling me at that time he said I had told him he could call any time again I feel like he was checking up on me and he doesn't deny this! We had a conversation about it and I told him I was not happy. Then we spent a nice night together last night I left him on my laptop this morning. When I came down he asked me if I was still on the dating website we met on. I had cancelled my account shortly after meeting him. I told him no. However he had been into my computer history and seen that I had gone onto the website a couple of days ago. I had only gone on to see if he was still on there. But now it makes me look guilty even though I've done nothing wrong - He is still on there! But he never denied this anyway. What do I do? I want him to trust me - I really like him but I don't know if I can be in a relationship with someone who feels they have to check up on me all the time. I'm not doing anything wrong but everything I do do seems to make me look guilty. Should I keep trying to make this work or should I walk away now?
TaraMaiden Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 Walk away now. if you think this is bad, then it's not going to get better. tell him you don't want to see him any more, and if he asks why, explain, "You have serious trust issues. I'm a free-thinking, social, gregarious open-minded gal, and you can't cope with that. You make me feel I have to justify every single thing I think say and do. I'm sorry, I'm not into emotional shackling. if you can't deal with the way I am, that's your problem. Don't make it mine."
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