It's not them! It's me?? Everyone I date marries the next person in line

[jenniferlm]

Seriously.

8 out of the past ten people I've dated have either married or entered into serious commited relationships with the VERY next person they dated.

All of these people had told me that they just weren't "ready" for a serious relationship, or that they just didn't have any feelings of "love" for me, or that I wasn't the type of person they can love, respect, trust, etc.

 

A bit of background. I have been in the adult industry (as a dancer and fetish model) for a number of years. A good friend of mine has told me that it's unrealistic of me to expect anyone to find me marriage material...except that she is in the same boat as me ....and is married nonetheless.

 

I don't really drink that much, don't party at all really. I'm no wild child, at least not in my opinion. I'm not perfect, and I have some insecurities. But doesn't everyone?

 

I don't have a high level of education, but I'm no dummy. I have bad credit...this bothered a couple boyfriends and was a factor in those breakups I believe.

 

My question is this: Am I wrong to expect someone to take me seriously? Obviously it's not the fact that these men don't want relationships or marriage it's that they don't want them with ME.

 

The last boyfriend I had we dated/knew eachother for three years. He had NO interest in having a serious relationship or marrying me, saying that his job in the military took him away too much and that he just didn't see us being able to spend much time together in order to "really fall in love and be together" and he didn't want to waste my time or his anymore. We had a two year old at the time!

He dates someone for FIVE months after we break up...and proposed. AND has changed things with his job to be closer to her, etc. Something that never happened to me.

I waited through TWO deployments with this person. TWO. And two months after he comes back he tells me....it's over. Even though I was the ONLY girlfriend he ever had that stuck by him through the deployments and didn't break up with him.

 

Sooo what could I be doing wrong? I asked one of my exes I am still buddies with, and he said, nothing. And told me that our break up was a deficiency in HIM and not me. He said he was serious and he wanted me to know that. But it still doesn't change the facts.

 

There is obviously some things I am doing wrong or need to change...as 8 out of 10 speaks for itself. I'm like the female version of good luck Chuck for god's sake.

Edited November 10, 2010 by jenniferlm

[Idalis]

The biggest thing you're doing wrong is not taking what guys tell you at face value. If a man tells you; I dont want a serious relationship, it wouldn't work, I don't want to waste your time anymore then you should BELIEVE him and it should be splitsville.

 

You can't hear all that and then proceed to wait for them and even have a child with them. IMO thats just setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

You should also work on improving yourself, fixing your credit is a good start, b/c really no one wants to marry in to a financial burden, and finances cause a lot of problems in serious relationships.

 

No one is perfect and yet most people end up finding love, its just good that you recognize that you do need to make some changes

[betamanlet]

Seriously.

8 out of the past ten people I've dated have either married or entered into serious commited relationships with the VERY next person they dated.

All of these people had told me that they just weren't "ready" for a serious relationship, or that they just didn't have any feelings of "love" for me, or that I wasn't the type of person they can love, respect, trust, etc.

 

A bit of background. I have been in the adult industry (as a dancer and fetish model) for a number of years. A good friend of mine has told me that it's unrealistic of me to expect anyone to find me marriage material...except that she is in the same boat as me ....and is married nonetheless.

 

I don't really drink that much, don't party at all really. I'm no wild child, at least not in my opinion. I'm not perfect, and I have some insecurities. But doesn't everyone?

 

I don't have a high level of education, but I'm no dummy. I have bad credit...this bothered a couple boyfriends and was a factor in those breakups I believe.

 

My question is this: Am I wrong to expect someone to take me seriously? Obviously it's not the fact that these men don't want relationships or marriage it's that they don't want them with ME.

 

The last boyfriend I had we dated/knew eachother for three years. He had NO interest in having a serious relationship or marrying me, saying that his job in the military took him away too much and that he just didn't see us being able to spend much time together in order to "really fall in love and be together" and he didn't want to waste my time or his anymore. We had a two year old at the time!

He dates someone for FIVE months after we break up...and proposed. AND has changed things with his job to be closer to her, etc. Something that never happened to me.

I waited through TWO deployments with this person. TWO. And two months after he comes back he tells me....it's over. Even though I was the ONLY girlfriend he ever had that stuck by him through the deployments and didn't break up with him.

 

Sooo what could I be doing wrong? I asked one of my exes I am still buddies with, and he said, nothing. And told me that our break up was a deficiency in HIM and not me. He said he was serious and he wanted me to know that. But it still doesn't change the facts.

 

There is obviously some things I am doing wrong or need to change...as 8 out of 10 speaks for itself. I'm like the female version of good luck Chuck for god's sake.

 

You know, you could be a beta male, have high education, good paying job, and be lucky to not die a virgin. Your shortest relationship probably has been longer than my longest, by far..