So after 10 months she contacts me... selfishly, I believe. I'm sending her this.

[Dante311]

"i'm sorry - i shouldn't be doing this. it's 2am and the reason for my irrational, unforgivable rant

 

but i will. stream of conscience. read. delete. do as you wish.

 

i still find it hard to believe your intentions to contact me were selfless. conveniently, babe, when you did message me the 3 weeks or so ago... a relationship i was in that was fine went sour. and it is totally my fault. all those feelings that were never laid to rest the day we were done... rekindled. I didn't know what to feel. I still don't.

 

your words were cruel, your actions, immature... not saying I was much better - but to forgive you, was the only way I would find closure in a broken heart and a dark, abysmal void you left me in. my words are not meant to be cruel or manipulative - even though they do come across this way - i'm glad you're moving on and living your life, but for what you've done you have no reason to be apart of mine. your intent circumvents the underlying meaning.. which at that seems to plague the darkest, most opaque shadows of one's mind. the antipathy that dwells is something of the past, but the defacement that accompanies my heart will forever be disfigured because of you.

 

your message to me took me by surprise.. as been previously spoken, but what i failed to mention were the mustering of emotion in waves that i could not identify; scorn from agony.

 

what feelings possessed you to do such a thing.. just as I was finally moving on? I wasn't attached.. or obsessed, but I did fall hard for you, nicole. contrary to what you told loads of people. thanks for that by the way. love the image you painted of me.

 

you never forget someone of your past... and for that, don't contact me ever again. i obviously still have some sort of feelings for you - don't know what they are - but I'd like them to lie dormant for eternity to eternity. you don't deserve the positive feelings I possess for you. you never will.

 

i hope someone makes you happy one if, if not already. good luck @ whatever you do."

 

writing that made me feel better.

 

good night

[Goliath]

how did she contact you and what did she say? Did you email the above to her? Any response from her?

[Shadowburn]

"i'm sorry - i shouldn't be doing this. it's 2am and the reason for my irrational, unforgivable rant

 

but i will. stream of conscience. read. delete. do as you wish.

 

i still find it hard to believe your intentions to contact me were selfless. conveniently, babe, when you did message me the 3 weeks or so ago... a relationship i was in that was fine went sour. and it is totally my fault. all those feelings that were never laid to rest the day we were done... rekindled. I didn't know what to feel. I still don't.

 

your words were cruel, your actions, immature... not saying I was much better - but to forgive you, was the only way I would find closure in a broken heart and a dark, abysmal void you left me in. my words are not meant to be cruel or manipulative - even though they do come across this way - i'm glad you're moving on and living your life, but for what you've done you have no reason to be apart of mine. your intent circumvents the underlying meaning.. which at that seems to plague the darkest, most opaque shadows of one's mind. the antipathy that dwells is something of the past, but the defacement that accompanies my heart will forever be disfigured because of you.

 

your message to me took me by surprise.. as been previously spoken, but what i failed to mention were the mustering of emotion in waves that i could not identify; scorn from agony.

 

what feelings possessed you to do such a thing.. just as I was finally moving on? I wasn't attached.. or obsessed, but I did fall hard for you, nicole. contrary to what you told loads of people. thanks for that by the way. love the image you painted of me.

 

you never forget someone of your past... and for that, don't contact me ever again. i obviously still have some sort of feelings for you - don't know what they are - but I'd like them to lie dormant for eternity to eternity. you don't deserve the positive feelings I possess for you. you never will.

 

i hope someone makes you happy one if, if not already. good luck @ whatever you do."

 

writing that made me feel better.

 

good night

 

I hope you didn't send it and stayed NC. It sounds like you're not over her...or you'd just hit that DELETE button and forget all about it.