illuminarium Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I was more or less forced into breaking up with my ex a week ago- kind of like having a crappy boss who makes you quit your job. I'm pregnant and having his baby in less than two months, he felt I was unreasonable nagging him to get job and clean the house if he was going to sit at home. I had some serious hormonal rages, but they were just that- temporary hormonal rages brought on by extreme stress and his silly behavior. My hope was that he'd realize the err of his ways and clean up his act. Instead, less than a day later he was on a dating site and he's been frequenting it multiple times a day. I simply can't understand why someone coming out of a nearly two year relationship with the mother of their child would start dating right away. He should be focused on getting a job, an apartment, a car, and preparing for his baby. Instead he's trying to get a date. Men....what is that about? Is he trying to make me angry or is he completely clueless? Should I just assume he was over me in a matter of seconds?
carhill Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 How old is he? Would you say the behaviors you are now noticing and are frustrated, hurt and angered by were always there, but hidden beneath the charming exterior which caused you to become attracted to, fall in love and become pregnant with his child? As an older man, I see him as a man-child, but then again, he made a woman pregnant, something I couldn't do in ten years of marriage. There ya go It's entirely possible he's not 'over you'; it's also entirely possible he was thinking the relationship and was never really 'into you'. That's kinda how my M went (genders reversed). If he is a man-child, he's merely getting his ego fed after mommy sent him to his room without dinner. Hard for a stranger on the internet to know. Regardless, you have my sympathies. This is a lousy time for a relationship to blow up. My best wishes to you for a healthy birth and baby.
Eternity001 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting worked up about this dating site business. Very blunt but it sounds like he needs to grow up. I've never been in a situation where children are involved but if I was a female I wouldn't waste 5 minutes on someone like this. Being a male I would certainly not be trying to date knowing I have a child on the way either or the next day after breaking up with someone regardless actually. Unfortunately that is some people's mentality however. I don't pretend to understand it. If I did make the choices he's making then I would imagine that I had left the relationship mentally a long time ago or never overly cared in the first place. You're far better off without in my opinion. If he can't support himself, what good is he to you.
Author illuminarium Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Thanks, he's 28 years old but "man child" is the proper term for what he is. I'm confounded by the whole thing because he was sweet to me for the most part, said he loved me, showed affection, etc. The last month or so he was doing this devil's advocate thing where he'd pick little fights with me, disagree with any statement I'd make. However he was more excited than I was about the baby and he's never been the malicious type. Immature, yes, but never mean to people.
eminembnja Posted November 11, 2010 Posted November 11, 2010 Isn't that exactly the advice you'd give him if he was on this site? Move on and try to date? Personal responsibility aside, he's doing what's right for his heart. Maybe I just don't completely understand the nuances of the advice here yet.
andyohyeah Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 its all about ego... i've found myself well trying to hookup with other girls right after the breakup and well I have had chances and could have but when I actually think about it... i know its not right. When you lose something you want to replace that void immediately but most rational people never follow through with it. It's like putting a bandaid on a wound... I wish you the best and good luck.
Am4Real Posted November 12, 2010 Posted November 12, 2010 Instead, less than a day later he was on a dating site and he's been frequenting it multiple times a day. I simply can't understand why someone coming out of a nearly two year relationship with the mother of their child would start dating right away. He should be focused on getting a job, an apartment, a car, and preparing for his baby. Instead he's trying to get a date. Men....what is that about? Is he trying to make me angry or is he completely clueless? You really have not provided the forum with enough information to have us offer any informed advice. Perhaps I can ask a few question to help us (me) shed some light on your situation. I presume he and you are still living together despite the relationship issues? I’m asking because how do you know he is visiting “dating sites” multiple times per day – you must be in close proximity to him and his computer? Has he registered with a dating profile or is he simply perusing the “pretty faces” and profiles? If that is the case it sounds like he is really angry, either with you, your situation or even himself. Regardless he seems to be “tossing” this dating in your face looking for a reaction. Another question: why not ask him what you asked the forum and see where his priorities are now that a child will enter the world in a few weeks? See if he can maturely address the issue(s) or if he resorts to man-child behaviors which would then be a prelude to what life with him will be like for you.Let us know.
Recommended Posts