northern_sky Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I have always been somebody with only a few super close friends and no distant friends. But a lot of other people seem to have a ton of distant friends and either none or maybe one or two close friends. This thread is partly inspired by the guy I'd been casually dating. He seems to consider me his "friend," yet I don't consider him mine. And he feels this way irrespective of anything physical. He was content to hang out with me in a purely platonic way after I set some boundaries when he informed me he didn't want to be exclusive. I realized that he sees almost all of his friends this infrequently, and it got me wondering if this is how a lot other people operate in their friendships. The reason I don't consider him a friend is to me a friend isn't somebody you spend a night with once ever two weeks in a rigidly structured get together that was planned days in advance and never message between. To me friends are the people you always call when you want to do something social like go to a bar, concert or movie. Maybe one or two you regularly spend one on one time with. I've never had distant friendships. I've always had a handful of very close buddies. But maybe I expect too much from a friendship, and this is how other people roll? To me hanging out with somebody infrequently isn't worth the bother, because you never really get to know them. I'm surprised that such friendships are even able to last over time. That said, perhaps there IS some value there that I am missing, because I've never had distant friends, and I would be healthier if I prioritized more distant friendships over super close ones? What are your friendships like?
USMCHokie Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I've always had a handful of very close buddies. I'm the same exact way. I distinguish between friends and acquaintances. I only have a few very close friends who I would take a bullet for...and then a whole bunch of acquaintances who I meet here and there... It honestly takes a lot for me to consider you a "friend"...but at the end of the day, it's all about semantics..."friend" for me might be "bff" for another...
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