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What can I learn from this? / Was I too harsh?


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Generally speaking when I lose my temper about something, if I think about it, it's always something ELSE that was on my mind, bugging me, and then the actual "thing I got angry at" was like a "trigger" that actually caused me to "release" my anxiety about something else entirely. (Like kicking the dog because the boss yelled at you.) But if I hadn't been preoccupied with the other concern, I would never have gotten angry at the usually trivial thing that acted as a "trigger."

 

So why are you holding grudges, for so long, and taking it out on other people. Obviously you are helpless at changing all the possible "triggers", but you can help not being mad about something all the time. For me, for a long time I constantly needed a problem to work on in my head so that my brain could continue to think and enjoy things. When I finally stopped thinking ALL the time and occasionally took some breaks from my world of problems, I felt a lot better. It's about this tiem I realized if I ever was at a point in my life that I didn't have a problem, then I would make one up because I NEEDED one. I was defined by this drama I created in my head.

 

However, I am not you, so I can't tell you why you are doing it. I just figured I'd say my experience in the hopes to help.

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