bleeg Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm currently of course still in love with my ex girlfriend. During our relationship and even after, when she gets upset, she gets emotional and says things she knows for a fact isn't true. It takes her forever to calm down and think rationally. I'm the calm one of the 2. When there's a giant predicament in the relationship, I talk calmly and don't get mad easily, not as easily as she does. She sees this as a form of me not taking the situation seriously. Can any girls relate to this?
TaraMaiden Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm currently of course still in love with my ex girlfriend. During our relationship and even after, when she gets upset, she gets emotional and says things she knows for a fact isn't true. It takes her forever to calm down and think rationally. I'm the calm one of the 2. When there's a giant predicament in the relationship, I talk calmly and don't get mad easily, not as easily as she does. She sees this as a form of me not taking the situation seriously. Can any girls relate to this? Not personally, but I think you're both unconsciously playing a control game. You probably remain rational, calm and level-headed, partly because that's how you want to come across, and show her how you feel such emotional outbursts should be handled. Cool calm and collected. "Look at me, I can deal with this, you really should take a leaf out of my book, I am so much better than you at keeping calm!" She is an emotional person, but feels you do not validate or support her right to be emotional. She feels things acutely, but then becomes offended that you just don't seem to have the same deep feelings about things as she has, and that therefore you cannot possibly value this relationship as much as she does, how dare you! It's a bit of a power struggle. Be honest now. Don't you think it might be?
lapse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Why are men so irrational? Why do they think their feelings belong tucked tightly between their legs? And why are bugs so instinctively smart?
TaraMaiden Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 If they're so instinctively smart, how come they haven't worked out a way to avoid my windscreen? It might surprise you to also know therefore, that not all guys think with their trouser furniture....
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I'm currently of course still in love with my ex girlfriend. Well THERE's your problem! /mythbusters Women tend to be emotionally driven, and also tend to deny it. I've found that western women particularly are prone to denial, as if being emotional was bad or wrong. It just is, and admitting it goes a long way. I've found younger women and foreign women to be more likely to say "I know!" to me when I point out that they are letting emotions drive them. This is a required start of a constructive discussion; if you can't get here, you might as well go home. And forget your EX. Get a fresh one.
lapse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 TM. I disagree with the very premise of the question. I am teasing, ya know. I know some emotional guys and some not very emotional women. I think a lot of it has to do with processing differences based a lot on 'nurture' and a little on 'nature.' Some differences based on different testo and estrogen levels, which also, oddly enough, correlate cleanly with differences in crime convictions, even within a gender. Anyway, obviously these are all rhetorical questions. Or, OP, are you serious?
Jannah Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Why are men so irrational? Why do they think their feelings belong tucked tightly between their legs? And why are bugs so instinctively smart? (#######)
TaraMaiden Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 TM. I disagree with the very premise of the question. I am teasing, ya know. I know, I'm just joshin' with ya.... I know some emotional guys and some not very emotional women. I think a lot of it has to do with processing differences based a lot on 'nurture' and a little on 'nature.' Some differences based on different testo and estrogen levels, which also, oddly enough, correlate cleanly with differences in crime convictions, even within a gender. I think in some ways we're wired the same, and in others, we're different. I agree with you. I think both need to practise acceptance of the fact that they process and handle things differently. 'Sides, it's hypothetical, isn't it? I mean, he did say she's an ex, right? So why would he still give a damn, really....? Anyway, obviously these are all rhetorical questions. Or, OP, are you serious? Quite.....
threebyfate Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Well THERE's your problem! /mythbusters Women tend to be emotionally driven, and also tend to deny it. I've found that western women particularly are prone to denial, as if being emotional was bad or wrong. It just is, and admitting it goes a long way. I've found younger women and foreign women to be more likely to say "I know!" to me when I point out that they are letting emotions drive them. This is a required start of a constructive discussion; if you can't get here, you might as well go home. And forget your EX. Get a fresh one.Can you explain to me what's so rational about testosterone?
Jannah Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 If testosterone can do this: http://news.softpedia.com/news/Too-MuchTestosterone-Kills-Your-Brain-36644.shtml I can't see how that can possibly be rational. (sorry for the hijack)
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Can you explain to me what's so rational about testosterone? No. I'm not even sure it's all about testosterone. Also I don't view women being emotional as a bad thing.
lapse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 OMG LMAO This thread has taken a turn for the worst, thank gawd.
Author bleeg Posted November 10, 2010 Author Posted November 10, 2010 Sorry, I didn't mean to stereotype at all. It's just most of the girls i've asked for advice, have said to give her time because she's emotional. Meh. I'm just ready to jump and try again is all.
shayan Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I don't know women seem to be more emotionally in tune. I totally understand where you are coming from. But, that's what makes them so alluring they get sad about strange things and cry and yell at you and it's so cute. I always laugh, and hug them. oh god women are so beautiful
Eternity001 Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I can relate to this, especially recently. The girl I was just with was a very structured and routined individual. I on the other hand go with the flow and am generally pretty relaxed. She hated this and always thought I just didn't give a ****, whereas I couldn't understand why she felt some of the stuff she got worked up about warranted any attention at all. I tried to be understanding and listen but some of it but just so small and ridiculous that it ultimately drove me mad.
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 10, 2010 Posted November 10, 2010 I can relate to it in that when I am in love, I am a very emotional person. You just have two different styles. You have to understand the other person's difference and just accept them for it. I bet you wouldn't really like your girlfriend if she changed and became unemotional over night.
Author bleeg Posted November 11, 2010 Author Posted November 11, 2010 Very true. Listen when we broke up, she was ice cold. ICE COLD. When she contacted me 3 months afterwards, she apologized. She was angry and drained and emotional. I just don't get it. If you love someone, calm the f(*& down and be with that person.
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