Understanding Gender Insults

[112233]

Have a think about it, I'm sure you'll get it. Or maybe not...

 

Those are what we in the group whose IQ measures above average like to call "rhetorical questions", meant to cause thinking people to reflect on the fact that while she feels all devoted and permanent in her current relationship the cold hard fact is she's (they are) young and relatively uncommitted.

 

Not engaged, not married. Dating or maybe living together. Pretty casual.

 

The rest is still left as an exercise for the more discerning reader. ;)3

 

 

Stalker.

[Untouchable_Fire]

It's a "touchy subject" because my partner holds himself to those stupid standards, and I wish he wouldn't think less of himself for not making 6 figures and driving a BMW.

 

SJ,

 

I want to address this quickly as it's important to your relationship and something I struggled through earlier in life.

 

Ok... in this world money = power. Most people understand this and react to it unconsciously.

 

There is a chance that once you start to make more money there will be a shift in the power balance of the relationship. Your going to feel more powerful... he will feel less. You need to not be lazy and prepare for it. If you really love this guy then your going to have to be very careful and your going to have to not only fight your own nature, but also his!

 

I think you should start a thread on this and gather unique perspectives!

[counterman]

I heard a girl tell her boyfriend to "man up". Ouch.

[112233]

C'mon, does anyone think that a hyper-alpha female is going to settle for, or be satisfied with, a guy who only earns one third of her income?

 

Not. Gonna. Happen.

 

Unlikely. I don't know a single couple in this situation who has been married more than 5 years. The new wears off Mr Mom pretty fast.

[donnamaybe]

Why should a guy conform to a woman's idea of neat and tidy if they both work? He should clean what he wants when he feels it needs cleaning. That's what I do. If Miss OCD doesn't like the way I keep things she can clean it herself.

So now you're saying all men are slobs? Um, okay. I'll tell my guy that. He'll get a good chuckle.

 

And what's with the "Miss OCD" BS? More insults? Why do you do that so many times on here? You make grand assumptions about people and genders, and then when someone challenges a post, you toss out an insult.

[donnamaybe]

Bahahahahhahaha! Oh that was good. Props sister!

Thanks, man. Obviously, you don't fit UF's idea of how he assumes men behave. THANK GOD!!!!!

[Ross PK]

Those are what we in the group whose IQ measures above average like to call "rhetorical questions", meant to cause thinking people to reflect on the fact that while she feels all devoted and permanent in her current relationship the cold hard fact is she's (they are) young and relatively uncommitted.

 

Not engaged, not married. Dating or maybe living together. Pretty casual.

 

The rest is still left as an exercise for the more discerning reader. ;)3

 

 

Stalker.

 

I see my point went straight over your head. What was that about IQ?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Kind of off topic, but in fact plenty of "alpha -type" (sick of those designations) go-getter women actually prefer being with men who earn less or who are less ambitious in the world of work and $$ than they are.

 

Two types like this often have much friction and can become competitive.

 

I know from personal experience, and I have quite a few friends who play this out successfully as well.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Kind of off topic, but in fact plenty of "alpha -type" (sick of those designations) go-getter women actually prefer being with men who earn less or who are less ambitious in the world of work and $$ than they are.

Two types like this often have much friction and can become competitive.

I know from personal experience, and I have quite a few friends who play this out successfully as well.

 

Why do you think a successful woman like that would be attracted to a man with little to no ambition?

[pyroguy]

Umm, why are people so consumed with what others do..and earn? why is it called "not ambitious"? maybe it's quality of life issue. Maybe they like what they do, but it's not a high paying job. What has America become. That's all we care about- and by the way, that's coming from a person is more conservative and hard working.

 

What if I want to teach elementary grade children, but I marry or get into a relationship with a female attourney or doctor, and she makes twice as much money as me.? Why are men made to feel as if they are like a child molester in these situations? worthy of nobody, as if they're less than. I think too many of us have become way to into ourselves, and we think our job somehow equates to a better stronger person...or man, since it's the man who seems to bear the brunt of this.

 

As for the original topic, no insults are needed, but a lot more understanding is needed on both sides. It's an ever increasingly ****ty world we live in.

Edited November 12, 2010 by pyroguy

[irc333]

Well, if you think abou it....the commericals these days always depict the idiot husband who uses the wrong product....getting tangled up everwhere are messing up the house...then it shows the wife showing the advertised product and using it correctly.

 

 

I've notice time and again that when a woman chooses to insult a man she typically goes for gender role style insults. Insinuating that he "isn't a real man". Why? Of all the insults you can toss at a guy... why overwhelmingly choose this one? Or I often see an attack on the man's success with women. Why? Is that how we guys should measure ourselves?

 

I rarely hear men say... "your not a real woman".

 

Instead I see men taking a more standard insult and applying it to women in general. Why? Would it not make more sense to go after her overall success with men? That kind of derogatory comment is often considered acceptable by forum etiquette.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Umm, why are people so consumed with what others do..and earn? why is it called "not ambitious"? maybe it's quality of life issue. Maybe they like what they do, but it's not a high paying job. What has America become. That's all we care about- and by the way, that's coming from a person is more conservative and hard working.

What if I want to teach elementary grade children, but I marry or get into a relationship with a female attourney or doctor, and she makes twice as much money as me.? Why are men made to feel as if they are like a child molester in these situations? worthy of nobody, as if they're less than. I think too many of us have become way to into ourselves, and we think our job somehow equates to a better stronger person...or man, since it's the man who seems to bear the brunt of this.

As for the original topic, no insults are needed, but a lot more understanding is needed on both sides. It's an ever increasingly ****ty world we live in.

 

I work with high paid females all day long. It's rare for a husband to make less and still have his wife see him as any kind of masculine. Some women like that because it gives them an in control feeling where the Husband is basically now an employee.

 

I also see women who make more also cheat more.... like a lot more.

 

In terms of Why can't the world be different? It can... you just need to get everyone to agree they want it different... and most people are happy with the status quo.

[sally4sara]

I work with high paid females all day long. It's rare for a husband to make less and still have his wife see him as any kind of masculine. Some women like that because it gives them an in control feeling where the Husband is basically now an employee.

 

I also see women who make more also cheat more.... like a lot more.

 

In terms of Why can't the world be different? It can... you just need to get everyone to agree they want it different... and most people are happy with the status quo.

 

I see these instances as unfortunate reactions to a relatively new set of circumstances.

 

I imagine it was the same when women got the vote nationwide - there was likely men who handled it poorly until they got use to it. And women who still felt weird about it and chose to not vote at all.

 

Just as there were some slaves who, after slavery was abolished, still stuck around the plantation they'd worked despite not having to.

 

I'd like to see it happen where anyone of any gender can choose a path without the judgmental fallout they sometimes have to deal with now when it isn't a traditional path.

[112233]

I'd like to see it happen where anyone of any gender can choose a path without the judgmental fallout they sometimes have to deal with now when it isn't a traditional path.

 

There are always going to be biological realities, and the only way we seem to address those is via some very BS laws and regulations. If the couple decides to have a kid and mommy is making 75% of the income, something has to happen.

 

Women are not typically ignorant of this fact of life.

[Akherousia]

I see these instances as unfortunate reactions to a relatively new set of circumstances.

 

I imagine it was the same when women got the vote nationwide - there was likely men who handled it poorly until they got use to it. And women who still felt weird about it and chose to not vote at all.

 

Just as there were some slaves who, after slavery was abolished, still stuck around the plantation they'd worked despite not having to.

 

I'd like to see it happen where anyone of any gender can choose a path without the judgmental fallout they sometimes have to deal with now when it isn't a traditional path.

 

 

Women with options have requirements. Maybe this fella never met a woman who could look for looks, height and education. That's sad. Maybe the women you've been pursuing/going out are of low quality? maybe search for women in other areas of the Country?

 

Men cheat. A friend of mine, a Portuguese, told me of a scandal in Portugal around rich, powerful men, and a network of prostittution. Men with options might cheat. Women with options might cheat.

 

Your point? Don't like the state of human affairs?

 

Become a celibate. This endless cry for attention "women who earn more money than their husbands will eventually cheat on the husband. Women who look good will have far higher demands in how a man's look, compared to what an average woman will require of her partner for her to feel attracted."

 

Or my favorite: "Nowadays women only want jerks and bad boys."

 

Or how we're all std infected and how we're all "used up" for having several sexual partners.

 

Don't like it? Don't play the game.

 

Now excuse me while I have fun with guys like this one:

 

http://confessionsvelvetropes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/09/27/paul_newman.jpg

[sally4sara]

There are always going to be biological realities, and the only way we seem to address those is via some very BS laws and regulations. If the couple decides to have a kid and mommy is making 75% of the income, something has to happen.

 

Women are not typically ignorant of this fact of life.

 

I've known a few married couples where things fluctuate without a resentful "against biology" result. Where *Shelly and Scott* both had jobs but wanted to start a family. One needed to stay home and it was the Shelly who made more at that time and so Scott stayed home. Scott walks by my place twice a day with stroller and dog (morning) and Shelly joins him for the evening walk. They seem very happy together.

I'm betting if Scott got a job offer where he made more than Shelly does, they'd switch off. Rinse and repeat if she found another than made more than that one.

And another couple where the husband is like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire. He LOVES cutting up with his kids all day long, making games out of household duties so the kids will happily help him when they can. His wife is very analytical and no nonsense so she doesn't have the same disposition when it comes to small children that her husband does. They also seem like a great team.

 

Of these couples, they most annoying aspect of this they experience is OTHER PEOPLE finding it weird or wrong.

 

The only biology hint I've noticed is Scott and Shelly's dog, despite being around Scott more often and Scott being male, the dog minds Shelly much more than he minds Scott. But then, Shelly is more strict with the dog during walks where as Scott will stop and let the dog goof off with other dogs for a bit.

[sally4sara]

Confused words

 

Its alright dear, you wouldn't be the first one to not realize I'm a happily married semi stay at home mother starting her own business.

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

When my husband and I met, I made more.

It stayed that way while he finished school and worked part time after we moved in together and he watched the boy more often than I did.

Then we made the same for a while and shared the parenting equally. We wanted a dog and my husband got a huge income hike. Now I freelance outside of the home some and work on my clothing label inside my home while he makes much more than I.

 

It was fine with us with every change that came along.

[Akherousia]

Its alright dear, you wouldn't be the first one to not realize I'm a happily married semi stay at home mother starting her own business.

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

When my husband and I met, I made more.

It stayed that way while he finished school and worked part time after we moved in together and he watched the boy more often than I did.

Then we made the same for a while and shared the parenting equally. We wanted a dog and my husband got a huge income hike. Now I freelance outside of the home some and work on my clothing label inside my home while he makes much more than I.

 

It was fine with us with every change that came along.

 

 

I was trying to quote the guy to whom you replied to. My post wasn't directed at you. Several of my girlfriends earn more than their husbands. The "problem" with this is that guys like the poster I was giving my comment to, aren't too happy because a woman who earns more? Means one less woman looking his way.

 

I've found that guys like him want to keep women as far away as possible from having options.

 

"American women are shallow because they are attracted to good looking men."

 

"American men are perfect, the most amazing fathers and husbands but only foreign women(mainly from Asia) can see that!"

 

Please.

[112233]

Where *Shelly and Scott* both had jobs but wanted to start a family.

 

That's all true and can work, however I doubt Scott took 10 weeks off work and gave birth. Seems newsworthy though.

[112233]

"American men are perfect, the most amazing fathers and husbands but only foreign women(mainly from Asia) can see that!"

 

Getting off topic but ... you don't see Thai (let's say) men and American women lining up to marry nearly as prevalently as Thai women and American men. Going out, acting like a man and scoring a great career are great accomplishments, but they're not particularly feminine traits. If, as often the case, traditionally feminine traits have to be sacrificed, well, the result seems less feminine. Factual or not that's the common perception.

 

Staying home and tending the kids is a little more feminine.

[112233]

This is idealistic but kind of unrealistic when most women have a conniption fit at the thought of the man not paying for the date.

 

One example of many. this is one of those subjects where I might have even argued the other side when I was young and innocent, because *EVERYONE* claims it's not so, and one would think it shouldn't be so. But then in the real world, it is so.

 

Ah well. The difference between theory and practice; in theory they are the same, but not in practice.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Women with options have requirements. Maybe this fella never met a woman who could look for looks, height and education. That's sad. Maybe the women you've been pursuing/going out are of low quality? maybe search for women in other areas of the Country?

Men cheat. A friend of mine, a Portuguese, told me of a scandal in Portugal around rich, powerful men, and a network of prostittution. Men with options might cheat. Women with options might cheat.

Your point? Don't like the state of human affairs?

Become a celibate. This endless cry for attention "women who earn more money than their husbands will eventually cheat on the husband. Women who look good will have far higher demands in how a man's look, compared to what an average woman will require of her partner for her to feel attracted."

Or my favorite: "Nowadays women only want jerks and bad boys."

Or how we're all std infected and how we're all "used up" for having several sexual partners.

Don't like it? Don't play the game.

Now excuse me while I have fun with guys like this one:

http://confessionsvelvetropes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/09/27/paul_newman.jpg

 

Did I ever say men don't cheat? I don't think I did.

 

Judging by your list there you seem to think that women with options are more shallow? They can suddenly be choosy about height and education? I have more options than I can handle when I am single... yet it doesn't make me more shallow.

 

I'm telling another guy the truth about money and relationship power dynamics. That's how life works... get over it.

 

It's hard to find women that make more money than me... but I did go on a date with a woman who managed large accounts for a marketing firm. She made fantastic money... but was so controlling and arrogant I had no interest past the 3rd date. She was also AMAZINGLY shallow. I still remember her saying "look good, feel good". She routinely refused to hire or work with overweight women. She told me that proudly.

 

Also... this may come as a shock... but # of sexual partners does not play a huge role in STD infection rates. Income plays a larger role for some reason.

 

As for Mr. Paul Newman... I can't blame you for wanting that guy.

 

I was trying to quote the guy to whom you replied to. My post wasn't directed at you. Several of my girlfriends earn more than their husbands. The "problem" with this is that guys like the poster I was giving my comment to, aren't too happy because a woman who earns more? Means one less woman looking his way.

I've found that guys like him want to keep women as far away as possible from having options.

"American women are shallow because they are attracted to good looking men."

"American men are perfect, the most amazing fathers and husbands but only foreign women(mainly from Asia) can see that!"

Please.

 

Do you think I would like a woman with me simply because she has no other options? C'mon. I want a woman who is with me because she wants me and loves me.

 

American women are attracted to me.... I guess that makes me good looking. Fact is I can handle moderately shallow women without problem. However, if I plan to have a family... I want a faithful woman who values family. That is rare in America. Like it or not... that's a fact.

 

You seem to really dislike asian women. What about Eastern European or South American? I've never been particularly jealous of women going for men of other nationalities. I don't understand why so many American women feel threatened by asian ladies.

[donnamaybe]

You seem to really dislike asian women.

It's probably more disdain than dislike - at least for those of the "walk five steps behind the men" variety.

[Untouchable_Fire]

It's probably more disdain than dislike - at least for those of the "walk five steps behind the men" variety.

 

I've never met one like that. Though I have fairly limited experience dating asian women, I have a ton of asian friends.

 

All of the women I've met who are act like the stereotype your showing are muslim or middle eastern. Scratch that... add 1 indian woman.

 

I actually had a friend of mine marry a Chinese girl thinking she would be all submissive. She's like a Tiger! We joke about it all the time because she has him on a budget for everything, and I seriously mean everything!... and barely gets to hang out with us.

 

I think it's a stereotype that's based on fear and racism. It's propagated by men in the U.S. probably more so than women. My personal opinion is that you can blame the military for it. We have tons of bases in asia and the military makes sure prostitutes are always available.

[Akherousia]

I think it's because for the most part Asian women have an easier time staying "petite" than your typical Yankee heifer.

 

 

You seem to really dislike asian women. What about Eastern European or South American? I've never been particularly jealous of women going for men of other nationalities. I don't understand why so many American women feel threatened by asian ladies

 

 

I find Scandinavian women to be very beautiful. I am enamoured with the facial features of the typical Scandinavian male and female. I remember being in Norway and seeing an absolutely exquisite young woman. In her early 20's, with very long brown hair, full lips, HUGE eyes of the colour green.

 

She was also tall and had a very lean body. She looked like what I presume Tolkien had in mind for his Elven women. I found out later that she was a famous TV personality. Don't remember the name. She was stunning.

 

Another Scandinavian woman I find very appealing is the former member of the teenager duo, M2M.

 

Her artistic name is Marion Raven;

 

http://snarkerati.com/profile_pics/Marion-Raven.jpg

 

She's a very beautiful young woman as you can see.

 

Women from Ukraine, Russia and so forth are also very beautiful. I am very charmed by the "Grace Kelly" look that so many of their women have. I have a woman from Ukraine working at the local Wal - Mart; she's 39 but looks like she's in her early 20's.

 

Very beautiful. Her child is going to turn out beautiful too.

 

I don't find South American women to be beautiful. They are hot. The Brazilians and the women from Argentina spend many hours in the gym working their behinds. The typical Brazilian face(as if there's something as typical in a Country so mixed) is appealing although I've also seen people who weren't that appealing.

 

Helen Garanzolli is works in Telivision and she's a model:

 

http://panoramagaranhuns.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Helen-Ganzarolli-foto-1-folha.jpg

 

Extremely stunning, heh?

 

I love her oh so dark long and luscious hair. Her melancholic blue eyes make me think of hot sand and a Brazilian hunk next to me.

 

Kaka's wife, Caroline Celico, is another Brazilian woman I think is very beautiful(and her husband is very good looking):

 

http://www.oamigodopovo.com/kaka286.jpg

 

http://panoramagaranhuns.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Caroline-Celico-02.jpg

 

^ typical Portuguese good looks, with those eyes hair the disposition of her nose and mouth.

 

Typical Portuguese colour. Present in most of them albeit darker in those portuguese living near the sea.

 

Natalia Pacheco(Miss Paraíba):

 

http://panoramagaranhuns.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Miss-Paraiba-extra.jpg

 

South American women can be very alluring but I'm more inclined to Scandinavian Beauty.

 

As for the Asian woman; I don't find them attractive.

 

Their hair seems to be of the same colour, always. They also look cute in a teddy bear way. And the fact that many white man think that Asian women are the end and all in feminity when there are so MANY feminine women outside of Asia, that being in North America and in Europe, annoys me to no end.

 

 

And for the last fella: I am petite by nature. I also eat clean and fresh and I exercise. As you'll find many American women to do so as well. Maybe, have you thought that you're finding those obese women for a reason?

Edited November 12, 2010 by Akherousia