Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I've notice time and again that when a woman chooses to insult a man she typically goes for gender role style insults. Insinuating that he "isn't a real man". Why? Of all the insults you can toss at a guy... why overwhelmingly choose this one? Or I often see an attack on the man's success with women. Why? Is that how we guys should measure ourselves? I rarely hear men say... "your not a real woman". Instead I see men taking a more standard insult and applying it to women in general. Why? Would it not make more sense to go after her overall success with men? That kind of derogatory comment is often considered acceptable by forum etiquette.
donnamaybe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I've notice time and again that when a woman chooses to insult a man she typically goes for gender role style insults. Insinuating that he "isn't a real man". Why? Of all the insults you can toss at a guy... why overwhelmingly choose this one? Or I often see an attack on the man's success with women. Why? Is that how we guys should measure ourselves? No, but according to what I read on here (which is where the insults are coming from), the guys who most commonly insult women do. Why do we use that against 'em? Because after they've pissed us off, we wanna hit 'em where it hurts. Instead I see men taking a more standard insult and applying it to women in general. Yes, there are plenty of "men" on LS who enjoy insulting all women, and particularly us American women, across the board rather than discussing certain traits they don't like in some of the women they've met. Trust me - we've met 'em too.
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I've notice time and again that when a woman chooses to insult a man she typically goes for gender role style insults. Insinuating that he "isn't a real man". Why? Of all the insults you can toss at a guy... why overwhelmingly choose this one? Or I often see an attack on the man's success with women. Why? Is that how we guys should measure ourselves? I rarely hear men say... "your not a real woman". Instead I see men taking a more standard insult and applying it to women in general. Why? Would it not make more sense to go after her overall success with men? That kind of derogatory comment is often considered acceptable by forum etiquette. I think it is more to do with acknowledging that many men measure their own worth through their ability with gaining female attention and worry about how their own manliness stacks up against others. So they are laying their bets on the higher likelihood of this resonating in the fella's mind. It really has little to do with what women think men should measure their worth by or their own opinion of what a real man is. They only hope it gets tangled up in the guy's own opinions about the kind of man HE wants to be and whether or not he feels he has achieved that. Thats how an impersonal insult works on a chat site. You don't know enough about the person you're insulting so you infer an insult and let their own insecurities do the rest of the work for you. Kinda like how men always go for the physical appearance or sexual standards when insulting women on here. the blanket statement insults (all women this or that) are the same deal.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 No, but according to what I read on here (which is where the insults are coming from), the guys who most commonly insult women do. Why do we use that against 'em? Because after they've pissed us off, we wanna hit 'em where it hurts. To be fair I'm not really referencing you. I started thinking about this yesterday when another regular poster and myself were somewhat randomly insulted by this lady who knows very little about me. It just struck me as odd that she would choose my masculinity as a target... provided such little knowledge. I felt maybe it had something to do with what we believe is important in people. Yes, there are plenty of "men" on LS who enjoy insulting all women, and particularly us American women, across the board rather than discussing certain traits they don't like in some of the women they've met. Trust me - we've met 'em too. Yes... but if you notice the men who insult go about it differently. They take a standard insult and apply it to a general group. For example: "All women are stupid". Stupidity has nothing to do with gender roles.... at least I think. As for American women... I think they can survive one guy giving up on them.
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 As for American women... I think they can survive one guy giving up on them. Only as potential wives, they're still OK for sex.
donnamaybe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Only as potential wives, they're still OK for sex.Had a shot at a couple of the "number on the bathroom stall" types, eh? Better go get your innoculation - quick! The rest of us don't have to worry.
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Better go get your innoculation - quick! The rest of us don't have to worry. Well, more the "met online or in clubs" types, or whatever, and I've been pretty much fully vaccinated. Deny it all you like, there's a reason (American) women complain about a marriage drought. Many guys now will prefer either hookups or live-in situations without the commitment of marriage. The "real man" insults and such are, I believe, a result of womens frustrations over this. Of course, it's the mans fault no one wants to marry them. Couldn't be that they are crappy wife material. Noooo.
donnamaybe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Deny it all you like, there's a reason (American) women complain about a marriage drought. That's funny. All my friends and I have wonderful men. Must have something to do with the kind of women you attract.
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Deny it all you like, there's a reason (American) women complain about a marriage drought. Whew! So glad I snuck in under the wire before this plan was put into action. Lord knows I'd die if no one had married me.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I think it is more to do with acknowledging that many men measure their own worth through their ability with gaining female attention and worry about how their own manliness stacks up against others. So they are laying their bets on the higher likelihood of this resonating in the fella's mind. It really has little to do with what women think men should measure their worth by or their own opinion of what a real man is. They only hope it gets tangled up in the guy's own opinions about the kind of man HE wants to be and whether or not he feels he has achieved that. Thats how an impersonal insult works on a chat site. You don't know enough about the person you're insulting so you infer an insult and let their own insecurities do the rest of the work for you. Kinda like how men always go for the physical appearance or sexual standards when insulting women on here. the blanket statement insults (all women this or that) are the same deal. Are sexual standards considered and insult? Seriously... You don't know what the guy thinks of himself so you can't really target that. I value intelligence in the people I associate with... so I tend to look at the person I want to insult as lacking brain functionality. Doesn't it make sense that when a woman goes to insult a guy on this board she does so based on her own values of what a man is? Doesn't it make sense that she tackles that issue because more than anything she VALUES men performing to their expected gender role? I mean... how many threads do we have in which women say... "Don't hold me accountable to any particular gender role"? Yet... the people held accountable to gender notions are most often men. Some posters can barely must the interest to show up for a date if the guy expresses a tiny shred of self doubt beforehand.
that girl Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Seriously, Untouchable Fire? There is an entire thread about how women like to be treated badly (gender insult). And you're telling me men don't use gender insults?
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 That's funny. All my friends and I have wonderful men. Must have something to do with the kind of women you attract. Are you married? Look up articles about marriage drought and you seldom if ever see an American man complaining. If we want to get married, we can find a wonderful woman and get married. So who would be complaining? American women. After the complaints finish, the attempted shaming (gender insults) start.
threebyfate Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Haven't read your exchange with the female member in question, U-Fire but it's not as if you personally haven't insulted women as a whole or specific categories of women. Prior to joining LS, I've not experienced so much polarization between genders. Gender war discussions were primarily to tease the other gender, all in fun on both sides. But here, it's turned into a pissing art form, one that tends to hone the cynicism and misunderstanding between genders to the degree that the singles here who are entrenched in this warfare, might never find anyone due to their bitter beliefs. And that within itself would be a self-prophesizing tragedy.
theBrokenMuse Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I too have noticed that men on LS tend to often use subtle implications and hasty generalizations about a subset of people they are looking to be snarky to rather than the types of direct insults that the women on LS tend to dish out. Interesting...
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Are sexual standards considered and insult? Oh yes; pretend you didn't participate in the thread about "low-grade" women.
donnamaybe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 After the complaints finish, the attempted shaming (gender insults) start.You mean like this? Only as potential wives, they're still OK for sex. Running out of new LS handles, eh? Have to resort to the numbering system? Once again, hereby ignored.
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Hey Sugar Tits... Each gender goes with the button that gets the best reaction.. men have bigger egos attached to manhood.. so attack a mans manhood and you reached the big button..
donnamaybe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Each gender goes with the button that gets the best reaction.. men have bigger egos attached to manhood.. so attack a mans manhood and you reached the big button.....or the teensy weensy miniscule one, depending on whose manhood we're talking about.
Surrealist Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Prior to joining LS, I've not experienced so much polarization between genders. Gender war discussions were primarily to tease the other gender, all in fun on both sides. But here, it's turned into a pissing art form, one that tends to hone the cynicism and misunderstanding between genders to the degree that the singles here who are entrenched in this warfare, might never find anyone due to their bitter beliefs. And that within itself would be a self-prophesizing tragedy. Yeah its the anonymity of it all to some extent, most wouldn't behave in the manner in real life encounters. LS is a caricature of real life.
112233 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 I too have noticed that men on LS tend to often use subtle implications and hasty generalizations about a subset of people they are looking to be snarky to rather than the types of direct insults that the women on LS tend to dish out. Interesting... Well I like your sig. Another one I liked was "Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse." I know my opinions are gonna make some people angry, that's life. When the truth hurts, pain leads to anger. Maybe that should be my sig.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Seriously, Untouchable Fire? There is an entire thread about how women like to be treated badly (gender insult). And you're telling me men don't use gender insults? But that fit's the pattern. Instead of "Women are stupid" he is saying "women like to be treated poorly". Pretty much the same standard. And... several women chimed in saying that Yes in fact that does turn them on, but they don't like it. :confused: Which was fantastically unhelpful in the general scheme of things. I too have noticed that men on LS tend to often use subtle implications and hasty generalizations about a subset of people they are looking to be snarky to rather than the types of direct insults that the women on LS tend to dish out. Interesting... It makes sense to me that men are more prone to utilize stereotypes, because of the ability to compartmentalize. Oh yes; pretend you didn't participate in the thread about "low-grade" women. Wait... Just because I have standards doesn't mean others should take that as an insult. I do consider that type of behavior base and low grade. I also acknowledged other guys don't feel the same. S4S... You are not my kinda girl. Are you now insulted? Hey Sugar Tits... Each gender goes with the button that gets the best reaction.. men have bigger egos attached to manhood.. so attack a mans manhood and you reached the big button.. My question is this. Why do men value their "machismo" so much? Because just reading some of the random stuff on this board... I get the feeling that men value it because women demand it.
sally4sara Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 S4S... You are not my kinda girl. Are you now insulted? Not saying YOU insulted me, but you can't pretend you didn't see women getting insulted by men in exactly the way I'm talking about in that thread.
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 My question is this. Why do men value their "machismo" so much? I don't really know.. I know that we bond differently with our friends.. we bond more on the machismo side. We get our identity somewhat from that side as well..
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 Not saying YOU insulted me, but you can't pretend you didn't see women getting insulted by men in exactly the way I'm talking about in that thread. True... but I'm really just trying to say that they should not have been insulted. If a woman says she doesn't date men with blue eyes because they are blue eyed devils... I don't get insulted. I wish her the best and move on. Maybe I think she is kinda nuts later, but I definitely don't get insulted at her opinion. So... why should those women get insulted when a guy says he won't date highly promiscuous women because they are crazy? Most of the women who seemed insulted were not what most would consider promiscuous. So... what the heck?
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted November 9, 2010 Author Posted November 9, 2010 I don't really know.. I know that we bond differently with our friends.. we bond more on the machismo side. We get our identity somewhat from that side as well.. I know for fact that I value my gender role a lot. I'm not sure why. Even the parts that put pressure on me, and impact me negatively. I don't really get why I value it so much. It's one of the reasons gender role insults have more impact. Many women seem to hate their gender role, and actively try to make sure they are not held to that standard. That makes sense to me. It makes sense to want no standards or accountability.
Recommended Posts