make me believe Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Do you think there's a limit to how late you should stay out when you're in a serious, long-term relationship? Does it depend on where you are? For example, is it ok to stay out later if you're just chilling at a friend's house, as opposed to drinking at a bar? My fiance is a big nightowl, and I'm definitely not. When I have a girl's night at a friend's house, I'm home by midnight or 1am. We don't generally go to bars without each other, so that's not really an issue. But when my fiance goes over to a friend's house, he doesn't come home until 5 or 6 in the morning! I'm torn between having a problem with this and not. It bugs me, but I feel like it shouldn't. I know he's not doing anything shady, but I just feel weird when he walks in the door at 5:30am. I would never impose a curfew or anything of that nature, but I don't understand why it's necessary to hang out with friends until so late! He only does this once or twice a month, so maybe I'm just being uptight. What do you think? And does your answer change for a married couple? (Meaning what might be appropriate for a dating or engaged couple is not necessarily appropriate for a married couple.)
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would think being out all night is very inappropriate. Especially after being married. I wouldn't even think to pull that crap. I would think 1-2 am is kind of the limit. You don't make your SO worry or wonder when you respect them.
eerie_reverie Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would not have a problem with this unless it was making me needlessly worry about his safety.
denise_xo Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would not have a problem with this unless it was making me needlessly worry about his safety. I agree with this, probably with 'unless there were trust issues' added. I think to me it would be more a question about compatibility in life style rather than 'what goes with marriage or not'. I'm like you (usually home by midnight or 1pm) and I'm kind of done with the period of my life when I went out partying late frequently. So I'd view it more as an issue of being on the same page with my partner in terms of how we want to spend our time, rather than his behaviour being inappropriate relative to our civil status. I don't think it's 'uptight' of you to want that kind of compatibility.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Yes in my case there are trust issues, I would probably just want a phone call otherwise.
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